MARS NEEDS MORE NAKED SHERI MOON ZOMBIE
I really loved The Devil’s Rejects, but at this point, I’m willing to accept that it was a fluke, and that Rob Zombie is not a very talented film director. House of 1,000 Corpses was fun, but I haven’t felt the need to re-watch it since I saw it in theaters, and while I thought that Zombie’s Halloween was the worst thing ever, that’s only because I had not yet seen his Halloween II, which really might be the worst thing ever. And some people said that his straight-to-DVD animated flick, The Haunted World of El Superbeasto, was pretty good, but I turned it off after about fifteen minutes. I think if I was thirteen I would have thought it was the tits, but I’m not so I didn’t.
It’s gotten to the point where the best thing about any Zombie flick is the inevitable shot of some part of Sheri Moon Zombie’s naked anatomy. Because Rob Zombie has a hot wife, and he wants you to know that he has a hot wife. Also, because a quick look at Sheri’s resumé tells me that she’s only ever worked on two projects that her husband wasn’t directly involved in: a Tobe Hooper movie I’ve never even heard of (Holy shit, did Tobe Hooper wipe out or what?), and appearing as a Nurse on an episode of Californication (a not very good show which is apparently written by metal fans who probably knew who Sheri was).
So now Zombie has released a new video for the song “Mars Needs Women,” a song which just SCREAMS for a naked chick painted red, and where the fuck is Sheri? NOWHERE TO BE SEEN! Sheesh. I’m glad Rob’s band is basically a supergroup now, but you think I wanna look at Joey Jordison’s mask instead of your wife’s hot bod? Puh-leeze. Get it together, Rob!!!