Reunion Mania

WE’RE ONE STEP CLOSER TO THAT RAP METAL REVIVAL SHED TOUR

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I looked it up, and that’s not Mike Shitoda.

After they reunited with C.C. DeVille circa 2000, one of the most brilliant things Poison ever did, business-wise, was to put together those summer shed tours where they take out three other prominent glam bands (e.g. Cinderella, Warrant, Faster Pussycat,Dokken, Slaughter, etc.) and only charge like thirty bucks a ticket. They were like the Ozzfest main stage, exclusively for hair bands. Talk about playing to your target audience! And I think it’s only a matter of time before Limp Bizkit follow suit. Fuck trying to win over new fans by touring with young, hip bands — just take out a few other bands that sounded kinda like you and were big at roughly the same time as you, and watch the nostalgia dollars roll in.

Why do I mention this? Because Crazy Town are reuniting for this August’s SRH Fest in California, and while I’d never heard of SRH Fest before, once I had a glance at the line-up, I realized that this basically was the shed tour of my nightmares. Kottonmouth Kings? (hed) p.e.? Unwritten Law? Did the promoter lose a bet or what? (I’ve never heard of a bunch of the other bands on the bill, but based on their names — Zero Authority, Big B., etc. — I assume that I’d hate them, too.)

How long can it be before some clever industry peeps put together a full tour with some of these bands? I bet with the right headliner, a (hed) p.e./Crazy Town bill would attract every High-School-Bully-turned-Gas-Station-Attendant within driving distance.

-AR

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