Green Eggs and Slam


  • Sergeant D

Senor Bivins is an internet personality best known for doing vocal covers of deathcore songs on Youtube (see previous coverage on MetalSucks and Stuff You Will Hate), as well as not having a sense of humor. If you’re curious what he’s been up to lately, here’s a quick update!

In this video, he reveals that he now has a driver’s license, a new job as a stocker at Walmart, and generally seems pretty high on himself — makes me think of the Vandals song “Movin Up”

Let’s have a contest to see how far you can get into this song before you reach for the nearest sharp object and drive it into your eardrums as hard as you can. I made it about 1:20.

Not content to hang his hat on a seemingly endless stream of deathcore vocal covers, Bivins is sadly working on some of his own music (although the material is so derivative that it’s a little intellectually dishonest to call it “his” music). Now, I try not to hate on kids for doing their thing, but fuck… you have to draw the line somewhere. Can’t decide what’s harder to stomach: the cringeworthy high school poetry-style lyrics, or the fact that he’s actually proud of this– for that matter, I’m not sure how he got such a giant ego from doing vocal covers of laughingstock teenybopper deathcore bands on Youtube. In any case, hats off to the engineer for his valiant attempt at autotuning Bivins’ tuneless “singing” into something halfway listenable, but you can only polish a turd so much (and in the process, you just get shit all over yourself).

For more news on Bivins, stay tuned to Metal Sucks or hit him up on MySpace!

-Sergeant D

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