FUBAR‘S DEANER SPEWS FORTH HIS TOP 10 FAVORITE F*CKIN’ TUNES
I was bummed last month when I heard that FUBAR‘s Dean “Deaner” Murdoch (Paul J. Spence) was detained at the Canadian border and would not grace the SXSW Film Festival with his presence. So, I took matter into my own hands and tracked the one-balled mustachioed metalhead down and asked him for some sticky pearls of wisdom. Instead, he gave me a Top 10 list. – CM
Hey Metalsucks, this is the Deaner here.
First of all, metal doesn’t all suck, only some if it; like the kind where the guy with glued on dreads screams into a microphone while his posse of teenagers hammer their guitars with cheese graters. That kind of metal really does suck.
Anyways, my favorite fuckin’ tunes ain’t all metal, mostly Rock, but fuck, a good tune is a good tune.
So fuck, if you don’t like Rock, that ain’t my fault, you probably had fucked up parents.
10. AC/DC – “Highway to Hell” – My friends are gonna be there too.
9. Black Sabbath – “Neon Knights” – Dio was the king of writing lyrics. I hope one day in heaven/hell, we get to chat about all the awesome shit that he did in his life. RIP.
8. Deep Purple – “Fireball” – I thought the organ was the pussiest instrument since the dinner bell until I heard this song. The solos in this song are like riding an all black rainbow.
7. Hawkwind – “Space is Deep” – I don’t know who the hell said it, but when you really think about it, “There’s no place like space.”
6. Mean Streak – “Battle Within” – Before you master the party, you gotta first master yourself.
5. Pentagram – “Be Forewarned” – A bad acid trip don’t necessarily mean a bad time, as long as you got the right tunes playin’.
4. Slayer – “War Ensemble” – If God didn’t want war, he shouldn’t have invented heavy metal.
3. Thin Lizzy – “Thunder and Lightnin’” – Ever wake up the day after a party and feel like you got thrown through a plate glass window into a lake of fire? It’s cuz you we’re listening to this song.
2. Uriah Heep – “Easy Livin’” – Sleepin on someone else’s couch for two months don’t mean you have to pay rent.
1. Van Halen – “I’m The One” – This is basically the song that all wizards sing before they go into battle. But instead of talking about chicks, they’re talking about the gods of war.
Fuckin giv’r to yer liv’r and party till yee puke.
Be sure and pick up Fubar: Balls to the Wall on DVD tomorrow.
Corey Mitchell is a best-selling author of several true crime books. He also hates idiot soccer parents.