Landphil Marathon




Hello wrestling fans! I am sitting in JFK Airport getting ready to board a flight to Nantes. France to play Hellfest. The line-up looks retardedly awesome, and I have a couple hours to kill, so I am hammering down alcohol in preparation for the Flight. I figure since I have nothing to do but look at my computer screen for awhile, I would write the second installment of my blog for MetalSucks!

There has been alot happening in the world of wrestling in the past couple of weeks, most notably the passing of Randy “Macho Man”
Savage, a true wrestling legend and my peronal favorite wrestler of all time. Savage suffered a heart attack behind the wheel of his Jeep Wrangler. Anyone that has lived on this planet for more than fifteen years has to know exactly who he is — he was the most entertaining and memorable character to ever step into the squared circle.

Randy Savage invented a character that had everything a wrestler could ever strive for: Charisma, athleticism, and a voice that couldbe recognized by anyone. If you were going to compare wrestlers to the lead singers  of metal bands, Hulk Hogan would be Ozzy, Ric Flair would be Halford, but Randy Savage would be motherfucking DIO — THE KING! PERIOD!

The thing is though… Hulk Hogan went on a talk show recently and started talking trash on Randy. Can you believe that asshole? Hogan goes on this talk show and starts saying stuff about how Randy was really paranoid and controlling to his ex-wife ,Miss Elizabeth, etc. You know that Hogan was just fuming about the fact that everyone on the internet was bestowing nothing but praise and accolades upon Randy, and felt the need to knock him down a peg or two now that he couldn’t defend himself. What a douche bag!

The even crazier part is that Ultimate Warrior started putting out YouTube videos about how much of a cocksucker Hogan is, and even said that he was the only wreslter back in the day that said “no” to banging Hogan’s wife! WOW! That’s a low blow, especially after Hogan’s wife has pretty much raped Hogan for all his money in alimony. And I think the latest news is that Hogan is suing the crap out of Warrior for defamation. Now THAT’S good rasslin’!

These guys need to just sit back and come to grips with the fact that they will never get to re-live the heights that they achieved in the 80s. I know it just burns Hogan and Warrior up that they are turning into has-been,s and it seems like they are on a mission to destroy what little good memories of them that are out there. If they could just hug and make-up, maybe they could give us another great rasslin’ match like the one they gave us in the WCW at Halloween Havoc back in1998  (Just kidding. If you want to see one hell of a hilarious wrestling match, watch that one!)

Alright, guys I am going to go drink some more beers. I will be back next week for another installment!Later Dudes! See you ringside!


Beneath Grow Lights Thou Shalt Rise, the new album by Cannabis Corpse, comes out July 12 on Tankcrimes in a variety of formats, including the ”Pro Stoner Die Hard”  edition, which includes the LP on clear in a gatefold jacket and a bonus track on a foil stamped flexi disc, along with an embroidered patch and foil sticker. Check out the song ”Blame it on Bud” here, and watch a trailer for the album here.


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