AWESOME CORONER INTERVIEW IS AWESOME
The men of Coroner, with Kreator (shirtless and far left) around 1985
Coroner made a few of metal’s great records and that is impressive in light of our genre’s high failure rate. So when Coroner members talk, I listen. ‘Cuz hey I’d like to know what kind of people can conjure six sides worth of significant, singular, distinctive metal. That amounts to roughly thirty awesome jamz (and other great and good ones uh onez); compare that to zero and counting from fundamentally sound but horrible bands like the one whose name rhymes with lithium.
Anyway, fuck I’m wearing out your eyes with blather when you should already be rushing over to ASCAP’s official site to find the fucking awesome Q&A with Coroner drummer Marky Edelmann and bassist-rasper Ron Broder. Those guys are cool, and MetalSucks writer Satan Rosenbloom’s questions deftly help them to contextualize and perspectivize (?) riveting historical stuff like the signing of Celtic Frost, the joy of “heavy metal discos,” and Coroner’s style changes around the time of No More Color — a new Decibel Hall of Fame inductee (fuck yes). Again, the interview is here and hey while you’re over there, could you all say some nice stuff about me? ‘Cuz I’ve been begging ASCAP for a cushy admin job and could use the buzz. Oh, try not to mention my drug problems.
ASCAP is totally awesome and operated by really attractive, smart, popular people. Their offices are a nice commute from my home and I’ll take the small desk by the break room no prob. Also I have a connection for free muffin baskets, bagel spreads, and fruit platters. I speak fluent Japanese and know CPR.