Landphil Marathon




Hello wrestling fans! Last week I started a two part series on ‘Shoot’ fights (meaning real fights) that have happened in the scripted world of professional wrestling. But before I gt back into that madness, I wanted to tell you guys about how my bro and I wentand saw Ring of Honor last weekend in Richmond,Virginia. There was a huge, insane thunderstorm annihilating Richmond when the first bell rang, and I think that may have left a few of the performers stranded at the airport, so we ended up seeing alot of the same guys come out for more than one match. So that kind of sucked. Needless to say, I got hammered and had fun anyway.

Okay — now back to the shoot fights!

Perry Saturn vs. Mike Bell

On an old WWF show called WWF METAL, a wrestler named Perry Saturn snapped and began to work really ‘stiff’ (a wrestling term for not faking punches, etc.) against a jobber named Mike Bell. Bell was not a great wrestler, and accidently hurt Saturn with a botched takedown. This enraged Saturn, and he began beating the hell out of Bell in the ring. It gets pretty nasty. Apparently WWF management were pissed, and made Saturn work the next night in a match against JBL (a notorious real life bully in the WWE), who returned the favor. (Watch Mike Bell drop Saturn on his neck @ 2:25; then he gets up, and is clearly not pleased.)

I always thought Saturn was cool in the WCW days, but apparently things didn’t go to well for him after he got fired from WWE in 2002. Watch this interview and listen to his sad story of being homeless and addicted to meth, and subsequently getting shot.

JBL vs. Blue Meanie

Jon Bradshaw Layfield keeps coming up in a lot of the shoot fight stories on the internet. This guy apparently has rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. One of my favorite stories about him is how he took offense to a wresler named Blue Meanie telling people that he was a bully backstage; consequently, JBL clobbered him on live television. (Look a JBL throwing bombs in this clip. Then marvel at Meanie’s busted grill afterwards.)

Jacques Rougeau vs. Dynamite Kid

Years ago, when the Hart family had a very strong foothold in the WWF, they were known for pulling very mean spirited pranks on other wrestlers backstage. Dynamite Kid was notorious for being the worst of all — he would sucker punch wrestlers, shit in people’s bags, and he wouldn’t pull punches in the ring, beating the living hell out of jobbers for no reason other than he loved being a bully. It escalated with him sucker punching a wrestler known as The Mountie backsatge. The Mountie got his revenge by cold cocking Dynamite in the face holding a roll of quarters. Listen to him re-tell the story, it is awesome (note — this is just part one):

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

This is by far the most famous of all professional wrestling stories. Entire books have been written about the struggle between these two retards.There has even been a feature length movie made about this story (it’s called Wrestling with Shadows, and it’s on Netflix). Bret Hart did not want to loose his beloved title in Canada, so Vince screwed him over by ringing the bell while Bret was in Shawn Micheals’ finishing move. Bret Hart punched Vince backstage and quit the WWF to join up with the sinking ship that was WCW.

Great Antonio vs. Antonio Inoki

Antonio Inoki was guy who was worshipped as a god in JAPAN. In a match against some fat slob named Great Antonio, he took offense to some chops and punches that were alittle too stiff and retaliated with a good old fashioned beat down (the violence begins @ 4:30):

Landphil vs. Hallhammer

This happened at the Ring of Honor show in Richmond, VA last week. After the show was over, Hallhammer began talking about howmuch he thought “Landphil Marathon” sucks, so Landphil threw him on a trash can and hit him a couple chairs. Then the New Morbid Angel started playing because of how extreme it was.

Alright dudes, I am out of here for this week, Just a friendly reminder that the new Cannabis Corpse album, Beneath Grow Lights Thou Shalt Rise, came out last Tuesday !Be sure to check it out at!

Thanks guys! Catch you next week!


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