I’m going to put about as much effort into this introduction as Clown from Slipknot puts into making sense in interviews.

We begin today with Barn Burner’s new NSFW video, for the song “Scum of the Earth.” Barn Burner played at our CMJ showcase a couple of weeks ago and they absolutely SLAYED — in fact, it was my first time seeing them live, and they were so good that I am now a 100% bigger Barn Burner fan than I already was. And I think this is video is pretty good… not, like, the greatest thing ever made or whatever, but it’s fun and it conveys the energy of the song. Unfortunately, some people are really offended by it, apparently because they are strongly opposed to the way that condiments were haphazardly utilized in order to film the video. I mean, there are  starving children in Africa who, like, don’t even have any maple syrup or ketchup or mustard, and guitarist/vocalist K. Keaglesmith just let some girl pour it all over him? What a wasteful dick!

Next up today is “Where the Dead Ships Dwell,” a video for a song I do not remember from an In Flames album chock full of songs I do not remember, Sounds of a Playground Farting. There’s a lot of imagery in this clip which, theoretically, should be cool, but it never really meshes together in any kind of interesting way, and so it gets pretty boring pretty quickly. Actually, with the “creepy” little kid and everything, it almost feels like a Marilyn Manson video or something. Only a Marilyn Manson video would probably had least have some inadvertent humor to hold your attention, whereas this will mostly make you go, “Oh yeah, In Flames did a have new album this year, didn’t they?”

Speaking of Marilyn Manson, our next video today comes from ex-MM guitarist John 5. I’m a big fan of John 5’s solo work, because it demonstrates how a good musician can have a great career by just dumbing it way, way the fuck down (in other words — Mr. 5’s skill set goes way beyond what Manson and Rob Zombie’s music requires of him). And this video is certainly a noble effort to make something cool for no money. But, again, all the random imagery never really coalesces into anything especially interesting, and, as a result, it mostly feels like a thousand other videos you’ve seen before. But at least in this instance the music is interesting.

Moving right along: Vallenfyre’s new video, “Cathedrals of Dread,” originally premiered on The Deciblog, and while, conceptually speaking, you’ve already seen this video, the execution is pretty decent, so you should check it out anyway. It’s about some poor dude who is tortured for daring to waste ketchup. Check it out:

And we conclude this edition of “Post with Lotsa Metal Videos” with the clip for “Vermicular Asphixiation,” the new clip from Blotted Science. So, hey, remember how the last Blotted Science video was just footage from the most recent version of King Kong? Well, this is just footage from Slither. But both movies were released by Universal, so at least there’s only one Hollywood studio that may now potentially sue the band.!



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