WINNER OF METALSUCKS’ THIRD ANNUAL ANTICHRIST CHRISTMAS ANNOUNCED!
For the third year in a row, MetalSucks asked you, our beloved readers, to tell us why you hate the holidays in exchange for some cool prizes — and boy oh boy, did you guys ever let your anti-holiday vitriol flow. There were some great responses, but, alas, there can be only one winner — and that winner is Tyler The Scrooge, who posted the below outpouring of holiday hatred:
I hate the holidays because…well ive got a whole damn list.
-I get fucking socks.
-Ive got to give my cookies and milk to some fat bastard.
-Ive got to spend money on the family most of whom i never even talk too.
-I hate fucking carols.
-Getting a toothbrush in my stocking makes me want to murder abunch of reindeer.
-The reindeer shit on my roof.
-Santa shits on my roof.
-The Snow pisses me off.
-Snowmen piss me off more.
-I hate getting kissed by some ugly floozie when im standing under misletoe.
-I broke my damn hand trying to put up christmas lights.
-Killed my cat trying to put up the tree.
-Killed the tree killing my cat.
-Christmas sweaters make me barf.
-Eggnog taste like cow anus.
-Gingerbread men suck.
and most of all i hate walking through the mall, minding my own business and some jackass in cotton pants, a snowflake sweater, and a hat with little reindeer antlers tells me i dont look jolly! I nearly murdered the last fucker that did that!
Merry Fucking Christmas. I better get some good music or im sending santa my piss in a bottle.
Tyler wins a prize pack from our friends at Relapse Records, which includes albums from Brutal Truth, Zombi, Black Tusk, India, and Inevitable End. We’d tell Tyler “mazel tov,” but… y’know. It might be weird.
To everyone else, better luck next year…
-Axl & Vince