PETER STEELE TURNS 50 TODAY
For fans of late Type O Negative frontman Peter Steele, there’s a minefield of sad reminders to negotiate. For example, last April was the first anniversary of his death and about the time that a seventh Type O record would’ve been released. And of course, our stereos’ cruel shuffle modes conspire to spring sentimental Peter music on us when we’re least prepared for an emotional jolt. Plus, I can’t encounter any reference to Jerry Springer, Rikki Lake, or Playgirl without chuckling and sighing about Peter the Amorist.
Well, today is another of those bummers cuz it would’ve marked Steele’s 50th birthday. Damn. Just think of it: He would’ve woken up and looked out his window to see me in a long coat blasting “(We Were) Electrocute” on a boom box held over my head (a la Say Anything) and surrounded by fifty writhing 50-year old strippers. The strippers would’ve been choreographed to spell out “Peter” and would reposition into shapes like a bass guitar, the Type O logo, and an undulating wang. And most would be female but I think that goes without saying.