Black Metal Bowel Movement



Feel like there’s been a dearth of metal-themed video games since Brütal Legend was released almost two years ago? Well, maybe this’ll help you get your fix: Black Metal Man, which a press release asserts is “the first Black Metal videgoame,” was released earlier this week for the iPhone.

Unfortunately, the game looks less-than-promising. As far as I can tell from its trailer, Black Metal Man is a simple, by-the-numbers platformer with a few metal elements tossed in — which maybe wouldn’t be so bad, but not only are those metal elements not specific to black metal, in many instances they are specific to metal that most certainly isn’t black. In other words, the game is called Black Metal Man and not Hesher or Death Metal Man or whatever because… I have no idea. And that kinda bums me out. I know it’s just a ninety-nine cent app, but any sense of fun the game might provide is immediately sapped by the fact that its makers are either purely opportunistic (e.g., they don’t know the difference between black metal and other forms of metal) or totally lazy (e.g., they just don’t care).

As always, feel free to tell me I’m wrong in the comments section below. You can watch a trailer for Black Metal Man after the jump, and purchase it here.



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