The Five Best Metal Songs About Meteors
In case you somehow missed the news, a meteorite burned up above Russia this morning, injuring hundreds of people. Luckily, none of those injuries are serious. So we don’t feel guilty saying that this is horrifying, sure, but it’s also pretty amazing.
To commemorate this most exciting event, MetalSucks now presents to you our five favorite metal songs about meteors. Only they’re mostly about asteroids.
5) Gory Blister, “Asteroid of Skymorphis”
Meteors and Asteroids are not the same thing. But the fact that someone had to write an article explaining that demonstrates that the majority of the public does not know the difference. And meteors are a surprisingly unpopular topic in metal lyrics, probably because they generally don’t hurt people, and things that aren’t awful are the sole domain of lyricists for pussy bands. Fucking poseurs.
4) Vektor, “Asteroid”
Not be confused with the #1 band on the list.
3) Kyuss, “Asteroid”
Far and away the mellowest song on the list, it makes for a nice intermission from all the insanity that makes up the rest of the group. And it’s an intermission that comes with an intermission! — pretty much the entire middle section is just, like, weird noises and shit.
2) Cathedral, “Suicide Asteroid”
An awesome riff that celebrates the collective ability of meteors everywhere to get on Lexapro before it’s too late.
2) Wormrot, “Meteor to the Face”
Technically, one would get a meteorite to the face. But we’re willing to forgive the Singaporean grind outfit because the song fucking rules. It is seriously surprising that more grindcore and death metal bands have not take advantage of the concept of large space rocks flying straight at someone as a lyrical source. I mean, “Splatter head, massive ownage”? That has to be one of the best lines of the last ten years, doesn’t it?
1) Voivod, “Meteor”
Anyone who didn’t see this coming a mile away: your metal cred is revoked.