Editorials

Jeff Hanneman Was a Romantic Dude

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the-tattooed-duke book coverThe Guitar World piece about late Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman that caused so much controversy earlier this summer is now online in its entirety, and according to Metal Injection, the part which may interest fans the most has little to do with Hanneman’s guitar playing — and everything to do with Hanneman’s lovemaking.

In the article, Hanneman’s widow, Kathryn, describes the courtship rituals of the man who once penned the love sonnet that begins “Auschwitz, the meaning of pain/ The way that I want you to die”:

“My girlfriend and I were getting tired of going to the movies every weekend, so we decided to go see this band called Slayer at a little club in Buena Park called the Woodstock,” says Kathryn, who is now 46, from her home in southern California. “They were playing with a band called Leatherwolf. I begged my father to let us go to the show, knowing that I would be home later than my 10 o’clock curfew, and he was okay with that. There may have been 15 or 20 people at the show, so I was able to stand up front against the stage, on Jeff’s side. And before I knew it, he kneeled down, grabbed me by the hair, and started making out with me. I was blown away, and that was how we met.”

OH MY GOD, it’s just like the meet-cute in The Proposal!!!

Kathryn goes on to describe the moment she knew that Jeff loved her for her mind, and not just because she was willing to go along with it when some random dude grabbed her and stuck his tongue in her mouth:

“I was around 16 at the time… Jeff called me one evening and said they were about to do this photo shoot and that the girl they were going to use broke her toe and had to cancel, so he asked if I would fill in. And that I needed to bring some sort of black lingerie. I told him I had to get permission from my parents but that I’d be happy to do it… I was honored that they chose me.”

Which roughly translates to:

“I wasn’t of legal age yet, but Jeff asked me to be half-naked in a promo photo. My parents didn’t even care; as a result, my self-esteem was so low that I took the request as a compliment, and did not recognize that he was probably either calling me as part of a bid to get into my pants, or because, having previously demonstrated moral pliability, he knew I would say ‘yes’.”

Here’s the resultant photo. Although it’s not at all clear how a broken toe would have prevented anyone from playing the role of “scantily clad girl who lets Jeff Hanneman grope her,” it’s still sweet to think that from this point forward, Jeff would grope no one else. I have to guess the Hannemans eventually included the picture in their wedding announcement:

slayer_altar_promo

P.S., hard not to notice that Tom Araya is staring directly into Kathryn Hanneman’s vagina. Slayer lore has it that this experience would directly inspire Araya’s lyrics for “Seasons in the Abyss.”

You can read the rest of the Guitar World article here.

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