Haterade

Skull and Bones Provide Irrefutable Evidence to Support Famous Conspiracy Theories, Change Metal Music Forever

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Skull and Bones are a Brazilian band whose lyrics focus almost exclusively on various famous conspiracy theories (e.g., the United States faked the ’69 moon landing, Admiral Bird’s secret diary, Dave Mustaine died in 1993 and has since been replaced by an android controlled by the RNC, etc.). If you’re Frankie Palmeri, you’re probably thinking “Hm, that sounds interesting!”, and if you’re anyone else, you’re probably thinking, “Hm, that sounds dumb!”

And it is dumb.

But not as dumb as the band’s videos, which look like they had a production budget of roughly $1.50 each, and certainly not as dumb as the band’s music, which seems to have been written and recorded by some seventh graders who have playing their instruments for six whole weeks. The fact that they got one of the Munchkins from The Wizard of Oz to record all the vocals in an echo chamber while drunk and slurring his words doesn’t help, either.

But you know what? I approve of Skull and Bones and all of their inglorious shittiness. Because a) I’m always down for a good laugh and this band is HILARIOUS, and b) as representatives of the conspiracy-theory-believing community, they leave something to be desired. Unless the conspiracy-theory-believing community was, for some reason, deliberately trying to look like a bunch of crackpots… oh my God… IT’S A CONSPIRACY!!!

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