...And F*ck You Too

We Almost Lost Godsuck

  • Axl Rosenberg

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Godsuck is getting ready to release their first new album in four years. It’s called 1000hp, in accordance with the terms of vocalist Sucky Erna’s recent acquisition of Hewlett-Packard. But it isn’t the star-faced vocalist and critically lauded thespian‘s foray into the glamorous world of computer printers that caused the band to deprive the world of their sweet, sweet music for nearly half a decade. Said Erna during a brief respite from his weekend volunteer work as a grammar teacher:

“You know, I’m not gonna lie — the band was getting into a funky place and there was talks about breaking up and, you know, not really staying a band anymore. But you know, I think it was just some time we needed, some time to really reassess the thing and really appreciate what we have as a band.”

“And what we have as a band,” Erna added, “is the unique ability to make all people, animals, fish, vegetables, minerals, and microscopic organisms alike wish they’d been born deaf. Seriously, I serenaded my friend’s newborn with ‘Suck Out of Line’ last week, and then the lil’ guy immediately sat up, rolled out of its mother’s arms, crawled over to an electric socket, and stuck a pair of tweezers in, thereby ending its short life. You can’t buy that kind of power.”

So, phew!, close call there. I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s relieved Godsuck decided to keep on sucking. The one dude from Ugly Kid Joe and the other guys whose name nobody knows are also probably stoked to still have a gig, given that they have neither purchased a major corporation nor recently appeared in a film nominated for Best Closing Credits at the Southeastern North Carolina Community College International Film Festival. For some reason there just doesn’t seem to be a lot of people clamoring for Another Animal to reunite.

Listen to the title track from 1000hp below:

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