Tour de Force

Ozzy Osbourne to Join Fellow Senior Citizens in Las Vegas

  • Axl Rosenberg

Remember Hell Gate, the mysterious Facebook page Ozzy Osbourne launched in September? Yeah, neither did I. In any case, we now know what Hell Gate is: a euphemism for Sharon Osbourne’s vagina a “Vegas production,” set to debut “in time for Halloween,” according to a statement Sharon made to The Sun.

Whether that means it’s gonna be a one-off spectacular or one of those Vegas residencies which is so popular these days (with bands whose members and fans are primarily over the age of 45 — it doesn’t seem like, say, Gojira is gonna announce one of these things anytime soon) is unclear. What is clear is this: tickets will be overpriced.

Regardless, Las Vegas is full of coked-up d-bags and puttering old people, so it’s actually kinda surprising that no one thought to have Ozzy do something there before. At least in Vegas when he screams “Let me see your cigarette lighters!”, the crowd will have actual cigarette lighters, not just cell phones.

[via Metal Injection]

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