Barbarous Book Club

Ten Metal Musicians Whose Books We Actually Want To Read

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kingshakespeareThe other day we showed you the cover to Lamb of God singer Randy Blythe’s upcoming memoir, and Axl commented that this is the rare example of a book that the whole metal community probably wants to check out.

I agree with him, and I think part of the reason we’re all so stoked is the book’s subject. Randy Blythe has been making interesting metal for a while now, and in general he seems brutally honest expressing his opinions and emotions. But that’s a rarity. Every metal musician has a memoir these days, and half of them seem like vanity projects. I’ve only read one that I truly loved: Lemmy and Janizs Garza’s White Line Fever. The rest have generally been disappointing. Man, that Tony Iommi book was so hard to read.

Anyway, it got me thinking — who are some metal musicians whose books we’d actually love to read? Here are ten whose biographies or memoirs we’d pick up in a hot second.

1. Matt Pike

The Sleep and High On Fire frontman has been in two of the most influential stoner acts of all time. He’s seen the world and battled addiction. But he doesn’t seem like the kind of glamorous celebrity — looking at you, Nikki Sixx — who would publish some glamorous whinefest. It would be a brutal, raw telling of a troubled life.

2. Justin Broadrick

I’ve interviewed Broadrick multiple times, and he is maybe the coolest, funniest metal musician I’ve ever talked to, open, witty, and merciless. He was also present at the birth of grindcore and industrial metal. That book would be fascinating.

3. Till Lindemann

I’ve never read the Rammstein frontman’s books of poetry, so I can’t speak to him as a writer. But Christ, the sheer number of stories he could probably tell you! Megadeth never put out a boxed set with a Mustaine dildo involved. Get this guy a memoir deal.

4. Fenriz

From what I read in his MetalSucks interview, Fenriz seems like a really thoughtful, intelligent dude, who would be able to put a lot of the black metal insanity into perspective. I bet he also has great camping tips and deep thoughts about the woods of Norway and metal in general. And his recently-released playlist rules.

5. Neil Fallon

Clutch’s singer has a real road-dog tone to his lyrics and interviews. He watched nu-metal rise and fall and he’s still going strong today. He’s the kind of guy whose memoir would be a quick, awesome read, relatable, funny, and full of cool tour tales.

6. Matt Harvey

Matt Harvey

As far as death metal veterans go, few have seen and done as much as Matt Harvey. Between Exhumed, Noothgrush, and Repulsion alone, the dude has built up one hell of a life. It’d be interesting to hear what more he has to say about the genre.

7. Dethklok

It seems like the perfect next step now that the show’s been canceled: a tell-all oral history of the rise and fall of the world’s greatest cultural force. You can add all new art, in-world documents, photos of young Murderface, the works!

8. Mike Hill

The frontman of New York progressive metal band Tombs seems to have an interesting life philosophy. He’s a fitness nut and martial artist, but isn’t an obsessive dick about it, and his music seems to have a real philosophical darkness to it. I feel like his memoir would lie somwhere between Henry Rollins and Charles Bukowski.

9. King Diamond

How has this not happened yet? How have we not gotten a memoir, or at least a Satanic guide book, from metal’s greatest falsetto? There could even be a section on how to do the facepaint. I’m not terribly worried, though — given that he’s going to be on the Rockstar Mayhem Fest tour this year, there’s a great chance we’ll see this book happen.

10. Frankie Palmeri

Just so we could give it a shitty review.

What about you guys? Who among your musical gods would you like to read about?

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