Friday 5

Friday 5: What Singers Could Front Motorhead (For Now)?

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Happy Friday, MetalSucks reader! Welcome to MetalSucks Friday 5, our awesome series that appears every Friday (duh) on MetalSucks (duhh) and involves the quantity of five (duhhh).

Here’s how it works: A list of best/worst/weirdest/whatever five somethings is posted by one of your beloved MetalSucks contributors or by one of our buds (like you?). Then you, our cherished reader, checks it out, has a chuckle, then chimes in with a list of the same. No sweat, just whatever springs to mind, k? (Just like that movie about those losers working at a Chicago record store!) After all, it’s Friday — the day dedicated by the gods to mindless, fun time-wasting. 

Today, let’s face some uncomfortable facts!

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THE FIVE

What five singers could pinch hit for Lemmy on Motorhead’s current tour?

THE LISTER

Anso DFMetalSucks senior editor

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1. Bobby “Blitz” Ellsworth
of Overkill

It might be time to worry about the future of Motorhead. Lemmy has gone from “creaky” to “not able to perform” — and there’s weeks of shows left on their schedule. So maybe your soul is screaming right now at the thought of Lemmy’s decline and on account of his symbolic importance to our heritage. But your pragmatism must prevail, friend. Think, what is best for Motorhead if Lemmy can’t get enough oxygen to function as their vocalist right now? Well, here’s a thought. Let’s have him take a seat on stage, focus on killer bass lines, and be there with us all. And for the vocals that he can’t manages, we’d enlist another awesome dude. Someone hilarious who could carry off such a thankless, humbling task with aplomb. Someone who worships Motorhead too and who is a bit healthier than Lemmy. Who do you call?

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2. Nergal
of Behemoth

To a fan, it may appear that Behemoth is in the midst of a hiatus. So their Motorhead devotee frontman, Adam “Nergal” Darski, could drop everything and join the Bad Magic tour in progress. He and Lem would have awesome chemistry, and he’d contribute second guitar to at least one jam from their quartet-era, like “I’m So Bad (Baby I Don’t Care).”

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3. Tony Foresta 
of Municipal Waste, Iron Reagan

To select a helper for Lemmy on the basis of excellence in vocals leads us directly to Tony Foresta. A perfect fit. Drool at the thought of Foresta’s energy on a Motorhead stage.

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4. Eddie Vedder
of Pearl Jam

Eddie Vedder’s sweaty reverence and humility can exhaust even the saintly among us, and he’d be insufferable up there curtseying to Lemmy, but there are two upsides to his temporary service on tour with Motorhead: It’d be newsworthy as hell and it would annoy Dave Grohl.

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5. James Hetfield
of Metallica

In the documentary about Lemmy, we see Hetfield choke and sputter when attempting the former’s trademark rasp. And that’s just one indicator that Hetfield would represent only a small improvement over a guy who can’t breathe. Yet he’d be the first guy I call to enlist for the next 30 shows on this Motorhead tour. I’d beggggggg.

Your turn! Have a great wknd!

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