Crowbar’s Kirk Windstein Suffering from DAVID DRAIMAN SYNDROME
I’m gonna warn you up front: this news is really, really depressing. 2015 already ended on a shitty note, and this does not bode well for 2016. It is the absolute worst part of my job to report news this heinous about someone this talented.
Kirk Windstein (Crowbar, ex-Down) made headlines this week when he took to Facebook to share his thoughts on President Bracak Obama’s speech detailing his executive actions towards gun reform:
Although many fans, myself included, originally thought Windstein was simply passionate about his political opinion, a quick glance at his other FB posts from both before and after the one above confirm the horrible news:
Heartbreaking, but undeniable: Kirk Windstein is afflicted with DAVID DRAIMAN SYNDROME (or DDS). Whether he exclusively types in caps because he’s ignorant or because the Caps Lock key on his computer is broken is currently unknown. Regardless, the results are the same: his social media posts are all heartbreakingly irritating.
According to MetalSucks’ resident medical expert, Dr. Feelgold, Windstein’s case of DDS may also be account for his signing so many posts “KIRK” even though it very clearly says his name at the top of every post:
“Unfortunately, the same thinking that leads one to think typing in all caps all the time is acceptable often leads one to do other very silly and highly unnecessary things in e-mails and on social media platforms. From a scientific standpoint, we know very little about why this happens, but we believe it has something to do with being out of touch. The only known treatment is supervision from someone under the age of forty.”
There are no words to describe how awful this truly is. Our thoughts are with those who cannot unfollow Kirk due to familial, social, or business obligations.