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Crowbar’s Kirk Windstein Suffering from DAVID DRAIMAN SYNDROME

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I’m gonna warn you up front: this news is really, really depressing. 2015 already ended on a shitty note, and this does not bode well for 2016. It is the absolute worst part of my job to report news this heinous about someone this talented.

Sigh.

So:

Kirk Windstein (Crowbar, ex-Down) made headlines this week when he took to Facebook to share his thoughts on President Bracak Obama’s speech detailing his executive actions towards gun reform:

OBAMA’S FAKE TEARS ARE THE WORST FUCKING ATTEMPT I HAVE EVER SEEN AT CARING…HE HAS DESTROYED THIS COUNTRY, AND WILL…

Posted by Kirk Windstein on Thursday, January 7, 2016

Although many fans, myself included, originally thought Windstein was simply passionate about his political opinion, a quick glance at his other FB posts from both before and after the one above confirm the horrible news:

OVERWHELMED BY THE IGNORANCE!!! I AM NOT BRITISH, I WAS BORN ON A US AIRFORCE BASE…MY FATHER WAS SERVING OUR COUNTRY!!! KIRK

Posted by Kirk Windstein on Thursday, January 7, 2016

GETTING READY FOR THE UPCOMING TOUR SUPPORTING HIGH ON FIRE…NEW CROWBAR RECORD OVER HALFWAY WRITTEN!!! GONNA BE HEAVIER THAN THE PACIFIC IS DEEP!!!!!!! KIRK

Posted by Kirk Windstein on Monday, December 7, 2015

LAST 2 HOURS HAVE BEEN SPENT LISTENING, AND WATCHING SCORPIONS AND MICHAEL SCHENKER…MATHIAS GETS THE SHORT END OF THE…

Posted by Kirk Windstein on Thursday, January 7, 2016

LISTENING TO TYPE O…HEAVY AS FUCK!!! KIRK

Posted by Kirk Windstein on Wednesday, January 6, 2016

AWESOME JOB FOX SPORTS…DOCTOR ROCK BY MOTORHEAD GOING TO COMMERCIAL BREAK!!! KIRK

Posted by Kirk Windstein on Sunday, January 3, 2016

Heartbreaking, but undeniable: Kirk Windstein is afflicted with DAVID DRAIMAN SYNDROME (or DDS). Whether he exclusively types in caps because he’s ignorant or because the Caps Lock key on his computer is broken is currently unknown. Regardless, the results are the same: his social media posts are all heartbreakingly irritating.

According to MetalSucks’ resident medical expert, Dr. Feelgold, Windstein’s case of DDS may also be account for his signing so many posts “KIRK” even though it very clearly says his name at the top of every post:

“Unfortunately, the same thinking that leads one to think typing in all caps all the time is acceptable often leads one to do other very silly and highly unnecessary things in e-mails and on social media platforms. From a scientific standpoint, we know very little about why this happens, but we believe it has something to do with being out of touch. The only known treatment is supervision from someone under the age of forty.”

There are no words to describe how awful this truly is. Our thoughts are with those who cannot unfollow Kirk due to familial, social, or business obligations.

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