Shit That Comes Out Today: April 7, 2017
Howdy howdy, MetalSucksers. Anso DF is currently on sabbatical from the MetalSucks Mansion, so until he returns I’ll be writing your Satanic bible of all the week’s notable releases. Now I don’t ever remember agreeing to do this — it’s surely the result of some Neilstein black magic fuckery — but nonetheless, he has a signed contract and if I want my Jack Daniel’s privileges in the MS Mansion back, then it looks like I have to do this. With that being said, here’s some shit that comes out this week.
On a playlist with: Whitesnake, Black Sabbath, UFO
Listen “All I Got Is You” (here)
Twenty albums. This will be Deep Purple’s 20th album. That number is staggering and I’ll be the first to admit that I had no idea these dudes were still making music. The band that gave you the the first riff you learned how to play on guitar coughsmokeonthewatercough over and over again until even the people playing instruments at guitar Center think you’re annoying are back at it once again. We’ll just have to see how the album artwork showing the tattoo owned by every basic bitch in the world drawn out by an ice boat will work for them.
In Extremis (Agonia Records)
On a playlist with: Behemoth, Carcass, Nile
Listen “At The Gates Of Understanding” (here)
If you ever watched Teen Titans — the original cartoon, not that Teen Titans Go! abomination — then you might recognize the word Azarath as being the demonic homeworld of Raven, and the first word of her phrase “Azarath Metrion Zinthos” that lets her cast spells. It should then come as no surprise that this band sounds incredibly demonic and evil. If you’re a fan of Behemoth, then this is definitely an album for you.
Binge & Purgatory (Century Media)
On a playlist with: Hatebreed, Lionheart, Body Count
Listen “Binge/Purgatory” (here)
Did you think that you could get through this week’s list of shit without something to suck? Fool. Hardcore outfit Deez Nuts are back and hairier than ever with an album that has artwork that makes me want to vomit. Said vomit-inducing artwork might have something to do with a night when a certain drunken Boozeman accidentally thought the beer can filled with rainwater and his roommates cigarette butts was his beer and took a big ol’ swig of cancer water. Fortunately, this album sounds the opposite of how that tasted.
Falling In Reverse
Coming Home (Epitaph)
On a playlist with:
Listen “Coming Home” (here)
DO YOU LIKE TERRIBLE MUSIC? If so, then rejoice! Ronnie Radke’s abortion of a project is back to make you wish that you were never born with those accursed ears on the side of your head. To be honest, I’m not sure what’s worse: this band’s music or the fact that at their age, they still think it’s acceptable to have scene kid hair cuts from the year 2007. Anyway, if you’re throwing a house party this weekend and need some tunes to immediately vacate the premises when it’s over, then Falling In Reverse have you covered.
On a playlist with: Metallica, Havok, Warbringer
Listen “First World Solutions” (here)
If your week has been lacking in speedy double bass kicks, worry not, because Harlott’s come faster than the time you lost your virginity. Extinction definitely takes the cakes for my favorite album artwork this week because of it’s very obvious message about the oil industry. It also makes me want to write a oil version of the Sunday school song about Jesus having the whole world in his hands. What could possibly go wrong?
OTHER SHIT THAT COMES OUT TODAY
Blood Youth Beyond Repair (Rude Records) listen
Cliterati Cliterati (7″) (Tankcrimes) listen
Connoisseur Over The Edge (Tankcrimes) listen
Curse The Son Isolator (Ripple Music/The Company) listen
Dead By April Worlds Collide (Spinefarm) listen
Ecstatic Vision Raw Rock Fury (Relapse) listen
ERRA Impulse (Vinyl) (Tragic Hero Records) listen
Fuoco Fatuo Backwater (Profound Lore) listen
Krokus Big Rocks (Century Media) listen
Mindless Self Indulgence You’ll Rebel To Anything (Vinyl) (Metropolis Records) listen
Nervochaos Nyctophilia (Greyhaze Records) listen
Nine Shrines Misery (Digital) (Mascot Label Group) listen
No Zodiac Altars Of Impurity (Siege Music) listen
Opeth Still Life (Picture Disc) (Vinyl) (Moderbolaget Records) listen
Royal Thunder WICK (Spinefarm) listen
Sinheresy Domino (Scarlet) listen
The Obsessed Sacred (Relapse) listen
Through Fire Breathe (Deluxe Edition) (Sumerian) listen
Trial (SWE) Motherless (Metal Blade) listen
Valborg Endstrand (Prophecy) listen
Ulver The Assassination Of Julius Caesar (House Of Mythology Records) listen
W.A.S.P. The Crimson Idol (Picture Disc Vinyl) (Madfish) listen
Wear Your Wounds WYW (Deathwish Inc.) listen