Shit That Comes Out Today: May 18, 2018


It’s my birthday tomorrow. That’s fun. I’ll be having a kegger to make sure that everyone knows that May 19th is all about Boozeman, but none of you can come because my mom said so. Anyway, this week we’re graced with a nice amount of vinyl re-releases and good music, other than a new pile of shit from Five Finger Death Punch of course. But in other, non-metal news, who in the fuck is excited for all the killer movies coming out? Infinity War kicked ass, Deadpool is going to kick ass and the Han Solo movie is going to kick some ass too. I swear I went what seemed like years without going to a movie theater and now it looks like I’m going to be in one every week. Just like I am with all of your mothers.

Five Finger Death Punch
And Justice For None (Prospect Park)
On a playlist with nope, nope and nope
Listen: Why would you want to listen to this?

Normally I would write some elaborate metaphor about how much I hate FFDP, but since they’re universally disliked, hating them is neither cool nor original. I refuse to listen to this band so instead, here’s a list of horrible shit I would rather do: butt chug a Monster Energy, make love while watching the Pain Olympics, take chlamydia antibiotics recreationally, listen to Shawn Crahan give a 6-hour symposium on his art, drink non-alcoholic beer, experiment with krokodil, spend 24 hours at LaGuardia Airport, go to Arkansas, be vegan, hang out with literally any of you, let Mike Tyson in his prime punch me in the balls, cut off my balls, and drink a cocktail of sulfuric acid and kerosene. Fuck FFDP.

At The Gates
To Drink From The Night Itself (Century Media)
On a playlist with Dark Tranquility, Carcass and The Black Dahlia Murder
Listen: “To Drink From The Night Itself”

Who doesn’t love At The Gates? To Drink From The Night Itself marks the band’s second album since their return back in 2008 and I’m pumped for new music by them. Although the album itself is a bit of a mixed bag, the title track definitely rips and will leave you wanting to hear the rest of the record. However, the mixed-bag feeling that Night gives off isn’t necessarily bad. It just means it’s a record that you won’t know for sure if you like or not until you’ve spun it a few times and really had a chance to digest it. The same could be said for all music really, but it’s especially true for this album. For a more in-depth opinion, read Axl’s review here.

Burn the Priest
Legion: XX (Epic)
On a playlist with Lamb of God (lol), and pretty much any other cover album you can think of
Listen: “Inherit the Eart” (The Accused cover)

Lamb of God Burn the Priest are finally releasing the album teased back in March. For anyone who doesn’t already know, Burn the Priest was Lamb of God’s name before the changed it to umm… Lamb of God. For all intents and purposes, this is just a cover album of Lamb of God covering 10 hardcore/punk songs under their original moniker to pay homage to their roots and the musicians who inspired them. So no, there isn’t any new music and this isn’t a new band. But if you want to hear a bunch of Lambed up cover songs, check this out, although I would imagine the average LoG fan would already be all over this whether I said anything about it or not. For a more educated opinion, read Axl’s review here.

Impending Death (Unique Leader)
On a playlist with Oceano, I Declare War and Impending Doom
Listen: “Impending Death”

Gotta admit that I was a little surprised to see a deathcore band on Unique Leader, but people always say life is about surprises, right? No, no one says that. Just me. Regardless, don’t let the word deathcore turn you off from these dudes. They have plenty of death metal elements mixed in so it isn’t just senseless breakdowns and blast beats over generic lyrics about murdering all the women because the vocalist’s ex-girlfriend cheated on him with someone in a better band. Actually, I don’t know that for sure about the lyrics since I haven’t bothered looking them up. But the point is that Obliterate are part of the rare breed of creature that we refer to as a good deathcore band. Don’t pass these guys up if you’ve been bored with deathcore lately.

Age Of Taurus
The Colony Slain
(Rise Above Records)
On a playlist with The Gates of Slumber, Candlemass and Argus
Listen: “In Dreams We Die”

Age of Taurus get a mention this week because I’m a Taurus and Mercury is in Gatorade or some stupid shit. I don’t know. Although this band identifies as a doom metal band, the fact that this song is even remotely fast paced and only 4 minutes long would say otherwise, but that isn’t the point. The point is that although I decided to covered this band just to make that stupid joke in the first sentence, these guys are actually pretty good! Even without and screaming vocals, I still found myself jamming out to what are some very delicious riffs. If you need something a little different, check these guys out.

The Afterimage Eve (Tragic Hero) listen
Alkaloid Liquid Anatomy listen
Amorphis Queen Of Time (Nuclear Blast) listen
Bad Wolves Disobey (Eleven Seven Music) listen
Farewell To Fear Voices (Pavement) listen
Fister No Spirit Within (Listenable) listen
Gazpacho Soyuz (Kscope) listen
Grayceon IV (Translation Loss) listen
Lillye Evolve (Eclipse) listen
Mos Generator Shadowlands (Listenable) listen
Nocturnal Graves (Titan) listen
Overkill Live In Overhausen (Nuclear Blast) listen
Rotten Sound Suffer To Abuse listen

Atreyu Best Of Atreyu (Vinyl) (Concord Music Group) listen
Burn The Priest Inherit The Earth/In The Meantime (7″) (Epic) listen
King Diamond Abigail (Picture Disc Vinyl) (Metal Blade) listen
King Diamond Fatal Portrait (Picture Disc Vinyl) (Metal Blade) listen
King Diamond Them (Picture Disc Vinyl) (Metal Blade) listen
The Black Dahlia Murder Everblack (Vinyl) (Metal Blade) listen
The Black Dahlia Murder Ritual (Vinyl) (Metal Blade) listen
The Black Dahlia Murder Unhallowed (Vinyl) (Metal Blade) listen
Vision Of Disorder Imprint (Vinyl) (Music On Vinyl) listen

Metal Sucks Greatest Hits