What Corey Taylor Thinks™ (October 15, 2018): New Slipknot Masks!! First Look at Slipknot Haunted House!!
You, loyal MetalSucks reader, yearn to know everything there is to know about Slipknot and What Corey Taylor thinks™. We, indomitable journalists and expert click harvesters, strive to get you the hard-hitting answers you deserve! Since the only content that gets traffic on this site nowadays is anything Slipknot or Corey Taylor related, we hereby present to you our new daily column What Corey Taylor Thinks™, the subject matter of which is self-explanatory!
Did Slipknot or Corey Taylor do or say anything over the past day?
Corey Taylor Thinks™ New Slipknot Masks Will Arrive Summer 2019 (Oh, and a New Album, Too)
The upshot: Corey Taylor says new album and new masks are coming in 2019
Clickability rating: 8/10, anything involving Slipknot’s masks is typically extra sticky
Nonsensical Clown rant: negative
Corey Taylor thinking stuff: affirmative
Is 5B Management still mad at us for the satire piece we ran about Joey Jordison being fired from the band by singing telegram?: Probably
Slipknot Offer First Look at Haunted House Exhibit at “Slaughterhouse”
The upshot: There’s some video footage of the Slipknot-themed Halloween haunted house the band is opening in their hometown of Des Moines, IA
Clickability rating: 5/10, too location-specific for the general masses to care a whole lot
Clown presence: all over this fucking thing
But is it actually cool?: really difficult to tell, can someone with an interest in actual journalism living in the Des Moines area please attend this thing and report back to us?
What does Corey Taylor think?: presently unclear
That’s it for today. We hope we didn’t disappoint. Tune in again tomorrow for another edition of What Corey Taylor Thinks™!