Slipknot News Alert!!! (What Does Corey Taylor Think?™, October 23rd, 2018)
You may have noticed that we didn’t publish a Slipknot / Corey Taylor news round-up yesterday. We’re still smacking ourselves — well, the MetalSucks Mansion Monkeys are smacking Phil Boozeman, anyway — because that’s like SO many clicks we could’ve gotten but didn’t. Lesson learned. Never again!
Rest assured, plenty happened within the past 24 hours involving your favorite masked metal marauders. There were some updates over the weekend so we’ll include those here too, naturally.
The upshot: Lindsay Lohan wore a Dio shirt in an Instagram photo she posted.
Clickability rating: 5/10. Minus points for the shoehorned Corey Taylor reference (which DEFINITELY generated some clicks, though, praise be hallelujah) and minus additional points because it’s 2018 and really, Lindsay fucking Lohan? None of the lower-ranking Kardashians were available?
Would you buy that shirt? Definitely. It looks sick!
Are you actually angry about Lindsay Lohan wearing a metal shirt? I don’t give a flying fuck, I just care about clicks.
What does Corey Taylor think?: Corey Taylor could not be reached for comment.
The upshot: Slipknot will play the Iowa state fair in 2019.
Clickability rating: 3/10. I’m guessing people saw “Slipknot to Play…” in the headline and got all excited, then saw “Iowa State Fair” and figured it wasn’t worth their precious clicking resources. Should’ve probably made people click to find out the missing piece of information, i.e. “Slipknot Announce Massive Festival Headliner Show in 2019!!!” That would’ve done way better, surely. Rookie mistake.
What other bands will play the Iowa state fair in 2019? We aren’t sure, but we’re guessing Seven Mary Three are a lock.
Will Slipknot have new masks by the time they play this show? We presume the answer is yes.
What does Corey Taylor think?: Unclear, but this Instagram selfie of Corey and his boo rocking some facial self care is straight fiyah:
We’ll be back atcha in a hot minute with more Slipknot and Corey Taylor news, don’t you worry. Gotta continue paying those bills!