Jim Root Says Slipknot’s Tortilla Man is “a World-Class Pianist” and “Out of His Mind”
Update, 9:59am EDT, August 21: As a result of this story, the identity of Tortilla Man may have been revealed! Read more here.
Slipknot’s new album may finally be out in the world, but we’re gonna continue milking Slipknot for traffic and click$ as long as we can. In other words, you better be ready to buckle in for the next two years of touring. Ready?
Part of our media-controlling Jewish conspiracy strategy will naturally include trying to decipher the identity of the band’s new percussionist, nicknamed Tortilla Man by fans for his mask’s appearance… although we won’t be trying TOO hard, because once the man’s identity is known and the mystery is gone, The Tortilla Man Traffic Train will come to a grinding halt.
And so: Jim Root spoke at length in a recent interview with The Art And Span Show about Tortilla Man; his background, what he brings to the stage, his taste in flat bread… everything except his identity. Here’s the money (and we do mean money) quote:
“I think we’re just gonna let it ride. Eventually people will find out who he is; it’s just inevitable in this day and age.
“He’s a character, man. I didn’t really know him very well before he started playing with us. But he’s a hell of a musician, man. The guy is a world-class pianist; he’s a great percussionist; he is schooled in music. He’s not just a garage musician who came up and learned on his own. He obviously had natural ability, but he took it to another level and actually got a degree in music. So the guy is next level.
“Plus he’s just out of his mind. I didn’t think it was possible for anybody to match us. And I’ll be standing there playing and all of a sudden I’ll hear this thump next to me, and he’ll have jumped down from his drum set. He’s, like, next to me. And I’m, like, ‘You’re insane, dude. Your knees are gonna fucking just be done.'”
The whole “schooled in music” and “world-class pianist” thing would seemingly take Corey Taylor’s son Griffin, whose name has been bandied about, out of the running. It would also seem to imply that Tortilla Man is a known entity (although possibly not).
Who could it be?? Tell me! Wait, no… don’t tell me, need to keep those click$ rollin’!