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Slipknot Release Limited Edition Whiskey Box Set Featuring Clown’s Iowa Shine

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Although it wasn’t announced in time to be included in MetalSucks’ Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide for Metalheads, Slipknot have now unveiled another potentially-great Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza/Festivus present for that special metalhead in your life: a limited edition, $150 box set including their No. 9 Reserve whiskey and Clown’s Iowa Shine.

Sez the band:

“Introducing the Slipknot Whiskey Box Set featuring No. 9 Reserve & Clown’s Iowa Shine – a 750 ml, 45% ABV (90 proof) raw bourbon straight from the still, fermented, distilled and aged at Cedar Ridge Winery & Distillery.

“No 9. Reserve was awarded Best Celebrity Whiskey by Forbes, and this is the only time the Shine will be available.

“Quantities are extremely limited. Order Now: https://knot1.co/WhiskeyBoxSet

Some random thoughts:

RANDOM THOUGHT THE FIRST

I’ve of two minds of Clown having his own branded moonshine.

On the one hand, the dude looks like he should be making outlawed items in the middle of the woods.

On the other hand, given that he hits a keg with a bat for a living, shouldn’t he really be making beer?

On the other other hand, maybe the fact that he hits a keg with a bat for a living is a sign that he actually hates beer (although if that’s the case, I’d wonder where all the beer in the keg went… I hope he didn’t waste it).

RANDOM THOUGHT THE SECOND:

I just checked one of the many (many, many, many) jars of moonshine in my very (very, very, very) extensive supply of hard liquor, and they’re generally 50% ABV and 100 proof, despite being considerably cheaper than this box set. I know that’s not the biggest deal in the world, and you’re paying for the moonshine and the whiskey and the pretty box which will now be forever used to hold weed/jewelry/loose change/whatever. But if you’re like me, your choice of drink any given moment is generally determined by what will get you drunkest fastest and cheapest. So. This isn’t that.

RANDOM THOUGHT THE THIRD:

“Awarded Best Celebrity Whiskey by Forbes” is perhaps the bougiest assemblage of words in the history of the English language.

Anyway you can buy your box set here.

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