John Corabi is Not Replacing Vince Neil in Mötley Crüe

Vince Neil sounds like a dumpster fire took a shit on a broccoli fart with emphysema now. And by “now,” I mean “for at least the last 20+ years.” But after a series of public PR blunders, it seems like people care now.

Do they care enough not to buy tickets to the Mötley Crüe reunion tour, which is currently scheduled for next summer, pandemic permitting? I have no idea. I’d guess probably not — even if the bill didn’t also feature Def Leppard, Poison, and Joan Jett, I think there are people who will pay to see the original line-up of Mötley Crüe perform with the only caveat being that all the members of the band have to remain upright during the performance. That’s it. Vince Neil can get winded halfway through the first verse of the opening song, Mick Mars can stand perfectly still in the corner, Tommy Lee can yell “YEAH BOIIIIIII!!!!” into the mic as frequently as he likes, and I don’t think people would really care.

Still, Neil’s recent spate of bad press was apparently enough to start a rumor that Nikki Sixx told the singer he had better get his shit together, or otherwise he’d be replaced with John Corabi. John Corabi, for those of you who don’t know, being the singer who replaced Neil for one self-titled Mötley Crüe album in 1994.

This rumor should smell to any fan like total bullshit. The Corabi-era Mötley Crüe was famously a very good record that sold about six copies. The band goes into great length about what a commercial catastrophe it was in their collective memoir, The Dirt, and how it seriously hurt their concert ticket sales to boot. But even if you haven’t read that book, the mere fact that Mötley Crüe never made a second album with Corabi tells you everything you need to know. Even if Nikki Sixx did make such a threat to Vince Neil, it was only a threat.

Still, I guess enough people believed the rumor that Corabi felt it necessary to go on social media and explicitly say it ain’t happening:

“Ok Gang,I’ve recieved a TON of messages from a lot of you who have unfortunately fallen for this ‘CROCK OF SHIT!!!!’ Here’s the real deal…

“I can categorically state here once and for all that the chances of my ‘return’ to Motley are 0%….

1) There is No Way, Nikki ordered an ultimatum to Vince, and used me as leverage!

2) There were absolutely ZERO secret rehearsals…

“And 3) After my incredibly STUPID portrayal in ‘The Dirt Movie,’ and the ludicrous shitty statements of one of the band members in regards to my contributions and lack of ‘writing talents,’ yours truly is NOT even remotely interested in doing that again…Don’t buy into the ‘CLICK BAIT BULLSHIT!!!!!’ I wish TOMMY, NIKKI, MICK, and VINCE the best on their tour, and their future endeavors!!!!”

Corabi could have stopped after #1. There’s just no way this is happening. A nihilistically-out-of-shape Vince Neil sells more tickets than John Corabi in his prime. I’d sooner wager money on Randy Castillo re-joining Mötley Crüe than John Corabi re-joining Mötley Crüe, and Randy Castillo has been dead for almost twenty years. So. Yeah.

Also, I hate to be mean, but Corabi is completely full of it with #3 — he’d rejoin the band in a heartbeat. I mean, c’mon dude. Who’re you kidding?

Upcoming chances to see Mötley Crüe without John Corabi:

6/16 – Atlanta, GA @ Suntrust Park [tickets]
6/18 – Miami, FL @ Hard Rock Stadium [tickets]
6/19 – Orlando, FL @ Camping World Stadium [tickets]
6/22 – Washington, DC @ Nationals Park [tickets]
6/24 – Queens, NY @ Citi Field [tickets]
6/25 – Philadelphia, PA @ Citizens Bank Park [tickets]
6/28 – Charlotte, NC @ Bank Of America Stadium [tickets]
6/30 – Nashville, TN @ Nissan Stadium [tickets]
7/2 – Jacksonville, FL @ TIAA Bank Field [tickets]
7/5 – St. Louis, MO @ Busch Stadium [tickets]
7/8 – Chicago, IL @ Wrigley Field [tickets]
7/10 – Detroit, MI @ Comerica Park [tickets]
7/12 – Hershey, PA @ Hershey Park Stadium [tickets]
7/14 – Cleveland, OH @ First Energy Stadium [tickets]
7/15 – Cincinnati, OH @ Great American Ballpark [tickets]
7/17 – Milwaukee, WI @ American Family Field [tickets]
7/19 – Kansas City, MO @ Kauffman Stadium [tickets]
7/21 – Denver, CO @ Coors Field [tickets]
8/5 – Boston, MA @ Fenway Park [tickets]
8/6 – Boston, MA @ Fenway Park [tickets]
8/10 – Buffalo, NY @ New Era Field [tickets]
8/12 – Pittsburgh, PA @ PNC Park [tickets]
8/14 – Minneapolis, MN @ U.S. Bank Stadium [tickets]
8/19 – Houston, TX @ Minute Maid Park [tickets]
8/21 – San Antonio, TX @ Alamodome [tickets]
8/22 – Arlington, TX @ Globe Life Park [tickets]
8/27 – Inglewood, CA @ Sofi Stadium [tickets]
8/28 – San Diego, CA @ Petco Park [tickets]
8/31 – Seattle, WA @ T-Mobile Park [tickets]
9/7 – San Francisco, CA @ Oracle Park [tickets]