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Mötley Crüe’s Vince Neil Getting in Shape With “Revolutionary Fat Burning and Muscle Building Device”

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Mötley Crüe singer Vince Neil is now under immense scrutiny regarding his extremely poor physical condition, which means he’s under immense pressure to get in shape for the Crüe reunion tour, which may or may not actually happen next summer, depending on how many of us are alive after the latest round of COVID and climate change disasters.

The tour, of course, was originally scheduled to take place last summer before being rescheduled for this summer and then kicked back another year. Neil has promised to get in fighting shape from the get go, and at one point seemed to be attempting to do that the good old fashioned way, via physical exercise (and, hopefully, a diet).

Given Neil’s appearance at recent solo outings, though, that clearly didn’t happen. So now, Neil is turning to science for help. And by “science,” I mean what sounds to my cynical ears like an expensive shortcut with no guaranteed results at best and a scam at worst.

Specifically, Neil has revealed that he’s using something called Emsculpt Neo®, which describes itself as “a revolutionary non-invasive fat burning and muscle building device that helps trim, strengthen, define, lift and tone your body with incredible ease.” It “combines high-intensity focused electromagnetic energy with radiofrequency (RF) energy to build muscle and reduce fat simultaneously,” and its creators claim that half-hour treatments “can help you achieve your dream body without sacrificing your lifestyle — because who has time to spend hours at the gym?”.

Yup, seems on the up and up to me.

You can watch video of Neil using the product below.

In case you’re curious: the price for this procedure varies somewhat depending on where you go, but it looks to be roughly in the $3,500 range for four sessions, which is the recommended number of times you let them do this to you.

What do you get for that amount of money? According to Men’s Health, an average of 19% in immediate fat reduction and 15% – 20% in muscle growth, although results vary, natch.

Additionally — and this is important — if you get the treatment but don’t maintain a healthy lifestyle, the results will only last 6 – 12 months… meaning Neil could be right back where he started by the time of the tour’s scheduled kickoff in June. And hey, maybe he’ll keep hitting the gym and eating salads after the treatment is complete…

…but then again, he’s headlining something called Drinksgiving in Vegas this November, so maybe not. Neil has famously struggled with alcohol addiction in the past. In 2016, he was charged with misdemeanor battery for drunkenly assaulting a fan. Just last year, a Cameo video he was hired to make for a fan’s birthday went viral because Neil is very clearly intoxicated in the clip.

He is rich, though, so maybe he’s just planning on getting more Emsculpt Neo® done every time he needs it.

Mötley Crüe, Def Leppard, Poison, and Joan Jett and the Blackhearts tour dates for 2022:

6/16 – Atlanta, GA @ Suntrust Park [tickets]
6/18 – Miami, FL @ Hard Rock Stadium [tickets]
6/19 – Orlando, FL @ Camping World Stadium [tickets]
6/22 – Washington, DC @ Nationals Park [tickets]
6/24 – Queens, NY @ Citi Field [tickets]
6/25 – Philadelphia, PA @ Citizens Bank Park [tickets]
6/28 – Charlotte, NC @ Bank Of America Stadium [tickets]
6/30 – Nashville, TN @ Nissan Stadium [tickets]
7/2 – Jacksonville, FL @ TIAA Bank Field [tickets]
7/5 – St. Louis, MO @ Busch Stadium [tickets]
7/8 – Chicago, IL @ Wrigley Field [tickets]
7/10 – Detroit, MI @ Comerica Park [tickets]
7/12 – Hershey, PA @ Hershey Park Stadium [tickets]
7/14 – Cleveland, OH @ First Energy Stadium [tickets]
7/15 – Cincinnati, OH @ Great American Ballpark [tickets]
7/17 – Milwaukee, WI @ American Family Field [tickets]
7/19 – Kansas City, MO @ Kauffman Stadium [tickets]
7/21 – Denver, CO @ Coors Field [tickets]
8/5 – Boston, MA @ Fenway Park [tickets]
8/6 – Boston, MA @ Fenway Park [tickets]
8/10 – Buffalo, NY @ New Era Field [tickets]
8/12 – Pittsburgh, PA @ PNC Park [tickets]
8/14 – Minneapolis, MN @ U.S. Bank Stadium [tickets]
8/19 – Houston, TX @ Minute Maid Park [tickets]
8/21 – San Antonio, TX @ Alamodome [tickets]
8/22 – Arlington, TX @ Globe Life Park [tickets]
8/27 – Inglewood, CA @ Sofi Stadium [tickets]
8/28 – San Diego, CA @ Petco Park [tickets]
8/31 – Seattle, WA @ T-Mobile Park [tickets]
9/7 – San Francisco, CA @ Oracle Park [tickets]

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