Stephen “Jimminy” Wiminy, Former Bassist for Meatball Grinder, Diagnosed with Terminal Penisitis
Sad news for the sandwichcore scene today, as Stephen “Jimminy” Wiminy, former bassist for Mine Hill-centered band Meatball Grinder, has been diagnosed with “terminal penisitis.”
Wiminy confirmed the news via his social media, with the following statement:
“Friends, foes, and former lovers, it’s your old pal Jimminy Wimminy [sic] here with some bad news. I just got back from the doctor’s office, and it looks like I have penisitis. And before you ask, yeah, it’s terminal.
“The docs took a couple of minutes to poke and prod Lil’ Jimminy before determining that it was Sweet Lady Penisitis for sure. I was given a fat sack of industrial-grade painkillers and told to take it easy. But the ol divining rod is definitely out of commission, meaning ther’ell be no Sins of Onan for this guy right here.
“Thanks to yall for your undying support, and to those hacks in Grinder, GET FUCKED AND STAY FUCKED!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!”
Wiminy currently lives in Wind Gap, Pennsylvania, with wife Carol and twelve children, Mickey, Regent, Jenna, Kenna, Siena, Frumpus, Adolf, Niko, Stephen Jr., Darkholm, Akita, and TurboTax.
Wiminy joined Meatball Grinder in 2004, and played with them for two tours, including their infamously doomed trek with Bat Thumbs and Fromunda Cheese. His recorded input is featured on the band’s 2006 EP Mozz and Prosciut and their 2007 split with xGrilledCheeZx, Thou Shalt Not Suffer a Sandwich to Live.
Wiminy was kicked out of the band in 2008. The bassist released the following statement at the time:
“I’m outta Meatball Grinder. These New Jersye dickholes wouldn’t know a sandwich if theys mamas shoved it up their own asses slice by slice. Keep your eyes peeled for my new solo album, due out this fall! FUCK FAKE SANDIWICH MUSIC I AM THE GREETSEST”
Everyone at MetalSucks sends their heart out to Wiminy and his family, friends, and collaborators during this difficult time. We hope for his speedy recovery.
Those interested in donating to Wiminy to help with his medical bills can do so here.