Enlarge Will Smith by Dick Thomas Johnson, curling by Martin Rulsch, via Wikipedia.

Will Smith: “Ozzfest is the Least African American Event Outside of that Broom-and-Big-Ass-Hockey Puck Thing at the Olympics”

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You might know Will Smith as an award-winning actor, rapper, and comedian slapper. But he’s also the husband of actor Jada Pinkett Smith, who in the early 2000s fronted a metal band named Wicked Wisdom. Now, in an excerpt from his memoir unearthed by Metal Hammer, Will described his experience when Wicked Wisdom played Ozzfest — and it’s pretty fucking hilarious.

Here’s how Will recalled the Ozzfest experience:

“Ozzfest…featured all the metals. Thrash, industrial, hardcore punk, deathcore, metalcore, post-hardcore, alternative, death, gothic and nu. Sharon [Osbourne, Ozzfest organiser] had seen Jada’s band and some part of her understood.  She and Jada became friends, and Sharon put Wicked Wisdom on Ozzfest in summer 2005.”

Ozzfest is the least African American event outside of that broom-and-big-ass-hockey puck thing they do at the Olympics…”

BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! For the record, he’s talking about curling. Which is the whitest sport imaginable.

Anyway:

“‘Babe, are you sure you don’t wanna do some R and B?’ I asked softly, but I meant it hard. ‘[Metal] is the music I feel,’ Jada responded softly, but she meant it hard. So we packed up our children and headed down the black brick road to the land of Ozz…

“Ozzfest is a purist audience, and what began as skepticism and dismissal, with every show was transformed first into silence, and ultimately into respect…Jada’s appearance at Ozzfest was so successful that Guns N’ Roses asked her to open for them on their upcoming tour.”

Look, we obviously will hate on anyone who hates on metal…unless they’re funny. And at least Will was funny here.

Meanwhile, here’s Will’s infamous Oscar slap set to Wicked Wisdom.

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