Cam Site Offers Queen $69,000 to Let Users Crank it to “Fat Bottomed Girls” During Streams
Listen, we’re all adults here, right? We all know what the internet’s really for. So when I say a certain adult site that people use to stream live adult content to adults using the internet offered Queen‘s Brian May and Roger Taylor a nice sum of money for the rights to stream a song about thicc lady asses, I hope we can do it without snickering, okay?
The plea was made in a letter from CamSoda Vice President Daryn Parker, who got the idea of request formal use of “Fat Bottomed Girls” after learning that the song was removed from the band’s greatest hits album on the children’s music player Yoto. Seeing that the world is better with the song available wherever anyone wants to hear it, including when you’re watching someone show off their dangly bits on your monitor, he made a cash offer of $69,000.
Dear Mr. May and Mr. Taylor,
Let me first say this, Queen is one of my greatest treasures and still gives me pleasure. My name is Daryn Parker, VP of adult entertainment leader and webcam platform, CamSoda, and as a fan of rock’ n’ roll and fat bottoms, we were saddened to hear Fat Bottomed Girls was removed from a streaming platform. To preserve Queen’s legacy, especially with Fat Bottomed Girls, we are offering you $69,000 for the full rights to the song to play on live cam streams.
At CamSoda, we firmly believe fat bottomed girls make the rocking world go around – just as you all and Freddie expressed in the song. Every day we have girls of all shapes and sizes flaunting their bottoms for thousands of people via our webcam shows. Should you accept this offer, we will integrate the song throughout our platform. For example, if you’re tuning into a webcam show and decide to leave a tip for a “naughty nanny,” simply hit the tip button and the tune will play. Or when you click on our “big booty” category of models you’ll be serenaded with this timeless tune.
So, won’t you take us home tonight? We’d love to continue to uphold Queen’s greatest hits and feel as though this is the perfect opportunity to do so. Rest assured, Fat Bottomed Girls is safe with us. We’ll make sure girls’ bottoms are always treasured.
Please reach out to me ASAP at [redacted]. Once aligned, we can get to work on the contract details. I look forward to hearing from you!
There’s no word at this time if either member of the band would be down with letting us degrade ourselves while listening to Freddie Mercury croon about round-rumped women letting it all hang out. We’re also not sure if Parker’s got some post-offer clarity going on, so who knows if this was even an offer made in good faith, if it’s a stunt, or if is real. What do you think?