FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: BRET MICHAELS HAS A ROCK OF LOVE IN HIS PANTS
Friday, December 21st, 2007 at 2:10pm by Vince Neilstein
Thanks to MetalSucks reader R Rocket for sending us this promo shot for Bret Michaels’ Rock of Love Season 2, the TV show in which 20 over-the-hill silicon bimbos vie for the affection of the wig-wearing Poison frontman. This photo is… wow, I don’t even know what it is. I’m just shocked.
We’ve got some miscellaneous metal goodies lying around the MetalSucks Mansion, and we’d love to give them away to you (side note: Heavy Metal Hanukkah winners fear not, your prizes are being mailed soon). All you have to do to win is post a comment below with a funny caption for the above photo. Axl, Kip and I will choose our favorite winners and contact them by email. Good luck.
Here’s one for motivation: “It’s a shame they can’t Photoshop ‘rock credibility’ into this Bret Michaels promo shot.”
-VN
“Hold on, don’t shoot yet! I still need to put on my bikini”. Ha ha ha ha.
Hey! Girls! I’m Bret Michaels! Girls?? Oh Well, Just take the damn picture.
Fucking blue balls!
Lets play “find my bandanna” I’ll give you a hint.
Why? That’s all I have to say. And what about the chick on the right? Couldn’t they have found a proper fitting swimsuit or photoshopped out the love handles?
That’s a dude? Wow…
How bout “Gigantic Kidney Stone / Hernia /Mystery Bulge of Love II”
(BTW This is an official ‘first look’ promo pic is from the VH1 webpage)
Is that a gerbil in his pants or just CC Deville attached to his nutsack?
Trying to be a woman, but forgot the “tuck.”
I got nothin’.
Mirror mirror on the wall…who’s the prettiest girl of them all…
*Bret to the photographer* I don’t care if the models aren’t paying attention, get the damn picture taken before my prosthetic dick falls off even more then it has!
Three Arse’s
Is that a Coconut in your pants? or are you just glad to see me?
“Somebody please call a doctor. Its been over four hours and this Viagra is still working!”
“Man, these hair plugs really itch.”
“I was wondering where my bag of quarters went!”
I make my wigs from the scraps these two chicks leave in their brushes
Why is there an advertisement for a band named “HUNG” to the left of Bret Michaels junk? What were you guys thinking?!
What a nice… acoustic.
since Sebastian Bach left skid row, you think i have a shot
“Now that the hot girls have walked away, bring on the skanks for my show!”
“No, I am NOT the third model. But thanks for thinking I look pretty.” — Bret Michaels to Photog.
1 acoustic guitar 120$
2 sexy hookers, 20$ a piece,
putting the Viagra to good use… priceless
“one lucky lady will have the chance to enjoy all of my embellishments”
or
“i wish my career was as big as my fuckstick”
You know what would be funny if a shemale auditioned and got on the show. That would be some shit when Brett gets her in his love nest and ‘boieeoing!’, no hole for Bretts geriatric boner. That would make the show worth watching right there!
“Bret, how many times do we have to cover this? It’s not ‘Locks of Love’ or ‘Cock of Love’. It’s ‘Rock of Love’. Do you not see the acoustic guitar on the wall? Geez.”
TIME
Past glory is no match for the mockery of the present.
And here I thought Unskinny Bop would be the shittiest thing I ever did.
I thought since all of the contestants have fake tits and faces, that it would make them more comfortable if I wore a fake cock and hair.
Mmm…. Blonde chicks in bikinis.
I think I have a boner!
damn!!! viagra is a “magic pill.”
Here’s one thing my Ferrari didn’t ruin
Okay, CC, they’re gone. You can come out now.
“so… when do you think they’ll have us turn around?”
This is my real hair. I swear.
Bret: “Psh. I’m prettier anyway.”
Tagline: “Viagra: Even if you don’t get laid, you’ll still be proud of yourself.”
I GOT THIS WIG FROM FROM THE OOPS I DID IT AGAIN BRITNEY SPEARS TOUR. HAHAHAHAHA!
Brett, your condition is fatal. You are suffering from elephantitis of the wankus bulbous.
this is my impersonation of fergie…with a penis
[...] to “Chriatian666″ who won our most recent funny photo caption contest lampooning a promo shot from VH1’s Rock of Love: Season 2. Chriatian666’s caption was [...]
hurry and take the dam before my wig falls off
hurry up and take the dam picture before my wig falls off
hey my names brett micheals i still live in the 80’s and i love my FAKE plastic penis and my wig that i brought for 25 dollars
Wow…..she is hot. And the other two chicks in the swimsuits aren’t bad
either!
silly faggot… dicks are for chicks!!!!!
He has had that bulge since the 80s and I met him in person ..Bunch of haters…….lol
Hey Ann!
“I love this pants, they have a hidden pocket, no one can steal my cellphone now, guess where I hid it??????”
I’m old, I’m ugly, I’m bald, what do yo u expect? The “Dumbest Criminals” cast is already set.
duh the BUMPIT IS FOR YOUR HAIR (ON THE HEAD)