FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN NEW CDs FROM AMON AMARTH AND UNEARTH!
Thursday, November 6th, 2008 at 5:30pm by MetalSucks
Congrats to MetalSucks devotee Joel V. who proved himself worthy of metal god status by photoshopping corpsepaint on his own photo to win last week’s contest. For your troubles, you’ll receive that awesome Early Man prize package; a limited edition gatefold colored vinyl of Beware the Circling Fin, said album on CD, and an Early Man t-shirt (aka this package).
This week we’re going back to the good ol’ photo caption contest, and we’re giving away one copy of Amon Amarth’s latest Viking onslaught Twilight of the Thunder God and one copy of Massachusetts metallers Unearth’s new record The March, courtesy our friends at Metal Blade Records. Just come up with a funny caption to the below photo and post it in the comments, and one of them is yours.
As hard as Billy’s friends tried to make him fit in, something still wasn’t right…
Erm, you changed the picture but I guess my caption still fits – lucky!
Spring 2009 on The CW: “Who Wants To See More Of Kristen Randall’s Manboobs”?
Jay unfortunately never understood the concept of “black” metal.
rolex watch- $1,500
diesel shorts- $100
fitted baller cap- $45
confusing the meaning of black metal- priceless
Fred Durst’s bastard interracial son attempts to prove that his family deserves credibility in the metal scene.
Deathcore was the shit, but now it’s all about BLACK METAELTON. Daddy Yankee has just partnered up with Galder and Shagrath for a surefire hit record entitled:
“For El Cartel: Misathropia de Barrio”. What’ll the kids think of next?
Dino Cazares tries to get his rep back.
Behold the next big thing in metal with Dimmure!
The New Wave of Nu Metal is finally here!
MC Silenoz cold standin’ on this muthfuckin’ table, ya’ll!
With the reunion of Limp Bizkit a new era of style will be reborn
Mindstate of a gangster from the forest
Meets the business mind of black metal’s Dimmu Borgir
Andy’s ingenious plot to finally be accepted by the gangsters AND Metalheads at school was ultimately doomed from the start.
The Bloods of LA are rising to new levels to give the shocker to Shagroth’s boo, ain’t nothin’ sacred no more?
…and Axl Rosenberg’s true identity is revealed.
(Everybody else should forge the feeble attempts, J-Wall definitely won this one, hands down.)
(Err, Fantum wins)
And Fez from that 70s show, otherwise known as Wilmer Valderrama recently came out about his dark side
“W’ssup y’all, we gonna make history with blackened rap metal!”
Ghetto Cult Armageddon
Satan’s baby with 50 Cent.
further proof that heavy metal music brings out the anger in people. this is a photo of little tommy just before he impaled him self on that lava lamp.
Waking the Borgir’s last photoshoot
“Religion Sickens Me, stoo-peed!”
Our new president gets down with black metal.
Moments before tripping over his own shoelace to his death, a confused young man attempts to show the true struggles of being black in America.
Jeffrey did not realize that, as ridiculous as his ensemble was, standing on his parents’ bedside table would only make things worse.
In an attempt to settle the on going gang wars in Los Angeles, Lil’ Jose is wearing all colors of the local gangs, including the “Dimmu Bangers” and the “Rollnecks”. This action has already lead to 16 deaths within its first hour of being implemented.
*hint-Dimmu Bangers is Dimmu Borgir and Rollnecks is Rollex. Had to help them slow people.
God Forbid guitarist DALLAS COYLE: ‘Behind The Player’ DVD Now Available
Is there a noose tied somewhere, or is it just more gangsta to stand on bedroom furniture?
472 Represent?
man, this lamp made out of the skin of posers smells like burning when you plug it in…
Tr00 dat. Wvrd.
West Sweden, represent!
Thanks for taking the picture mom.
“I be representin’ the dark, frost-bitten forests of Norway, dawg. My crew ist krieg.”
Ghaal saw his pic and was instantly interested. He scrolled through other pics, saw they were into the same bands and even read some of his blogs. He was nervous at first, but managed to muster up the courage to send a friend request.
and here we have the son of evan seinfeld and tera patrick. he may not fit in well, but his answer to that is much like his daddy’s; “FUCK THE RULES, FUCK FUCK THE RULES, c’mon…”
Joey’s practicing for the show turned sour when he realized there was no crowd to catch him after stage diving off his dresser.
Teenagers will conform to any trend.Especially Lars Ulrich’s bastard son.
Its kammer time!
Black metal pictures: stupid in your mom’s backyard, stupid in your mom’s bedroom, standing on her nightstand.
I mean, seriously, is that a fucking lava lamp?
Spiritual Wack Dimensions
Everything that sucked about the 90’s, all rolled into one confused douchebag
“Dimmu Borgir forever, mother fuck-WOOOOAAAAHHH!!!” *CRASH!*
“I did it ALL for the frostbite! (come on!) the frostbite! (come on!)”
I am a dimmu gangstaH! Yo yooooOOOAAAHHHHH*crash*
Metalsucks Is Proud To Announce a New Genre
Nu Black Metal!
with a lot of hard work and constant support from both the metal and hip hop community, jose was able to invent the genre that would come to be known as mocha metal
Unable to afford real metal posters, John takes it upon himself to provide decoration in his otherwise mundane room.
Whenever the mood strikes, Pedro is ready for days when he feels ghetto and days where he feels metal
Picture taken by Jonathan Davis moments before he got down with all types of Michael Jackson-like behavior with this little boy(let’s call him Lil Fieldy) .
“Some say that because of their over-the-top epic songs and videos, Dimmu Borgir are not true black metal.
Some say that because of his cheesy high-tops and button-down, that this kid is not truly black either.”
Weston Cage-the junior high years!
I would just like to point out something that strikes me in this picture.
The guy looks kind of old. Not old like 30, but an older teenager, like 16-18 range due to the semi beard. Maybe its just shadows. But whatever the case, he is standing on the nightstand and the backboard of the bed only hits him a little below the waist. This guy is fucking short.
Dimmu Borgir’s new direction into the rap realm has lost them many fans. Here Shagrath shows off the only stage they could afford for this years tour.
LOL at seven_whispers
Dimmure hahaha
Jack Osbourne finally lost some weight and got a tan…Good for him.
9 out of 10 doctors agree, standing on a night stand with your shoes untied is the leading cause of accidental deaths in Hispanic posers between the ages of 13 and 17. Remember kids, knowing is half the battle!
Let’s break out the pit for Limpbizkit and their death metal tunez
hip-hop black metal both do subscribe to one key element = 2 in the pink, 1 in the stink
HEY! Who posted my picture on the internet!?!?
hey yo, check out this hott new clothing line im reppin, Dimmu Borgir, get into it homez.
I’m the King Of Rock
There is none higher
I like to stack the paper
NOW PERISH IN THE FIRE!
After surviving the mighty New Found Glory moshpit, Paco is getting his balls up for the Hollywood Undead show by stage diving onto his uncle Rico’s love doll.
I hope this fuck is the first one to drink the kool aid…
Public Enemies new album, Straight outta Oslo
Kvlt new Norwegian Hip-Hop, Dimmu stylez.
Now thats what I call tr00
Fucking poser. Tr00 Gangstas listen to Burzum.
two in the stink, one in the pink… that’s how we roll!
Given the fact that black metal legend Gaahl recently came out of the closet and we’ve all known that Cypress Hill’s half mexican B-Real was gay from the get-go, does this picture of their miracle love child really come as that big of a ’shocker?’
For those of you still confused about the definition of a “poseur,” this picture about sums it up.
“It’s Ice-T nephew, Iced Moacha Late”
“Ay yo, mayne, dis dimmu bor-jeer is da shit mayne. Black metal, ya dig!”
This is worse than the concept of “Ghetto Metal”
I’m too sexy for my shirt, I’m too sexy for my hat I’m…. All hell, I ain’t sexy at all!!!!!
Sup, its Phat Dough up in this
We have been spellbound, BY THE MEJICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.
for we are teh echoz of la migra.
First, there was Black Metalcore. Now the hottest new trend in the metal scene: Black Nü-Metal! The dopest rhymes combine with grim, frostbitten atmosphere to forge an unforgettable listening experience!
“Yo, yo, yo! Satan’s in the hiz-ouse, beotches!”
His parents told him he was burning bridges, but he was more interested in burning churches.
West Side til I cry.
[Black] Gold Digga.
Yo Dawg, i Heard you lookin for a black metal band, can i join yo band now dat i gots some metal
“The church, the church, the church is on fire! We don’t need no water, let the motherfucker burn!”
Discard my previous two.
Those Christian black metal bands never do turn out quite right…
promoting dimmu borgirs new slogan “black metal for black people”
Following years of confusion, never understanding just why the world was constantly laughing at him; Borg-dog decided to end it all by jumping to his death from the bedside table onto a pillow below.
Young and confused, NECRO tries to build his street cred.
The son of former Mtv Vj’s Adam Curry and downtown Julie Brown and prepares for his gig as the new host of Headbangers Ball.
Repost, 1st one had an extra word.
The son of former Mtv Vj’s Adam Curry and downtown Julie Brown prepares for his gig as the new host of Headbangers Ball.
Reign in Bloods
Black Metal, worshipped by some hated by others; some just love it for the badass t-shirts
||_/ west-side!
(Reign in Blud)!!!
MC Hellhammer
“… and here you can see my ‘You Think You’re So Fly But Are Actually A Douche Bag’ award that I like to keep on my night stand. Notice how it’s detailed with all the latest douche bag accessories!”
Vanilla ICS Vortex
hey look its axl rosenburgs and dallas coyle’s multicultural sex slave
That’s so metal
“Most Likely to Die in Drive-By Church Burning”
Keepin’ it gangsta since 1349
right after this picture was taken momma gangster/metal momma came in and screams!” how many times have i said to stay off that damned night stand! its 8:30 go to bed before i blister your ass!”your grandmother is coming over tomorrow and you know how cranky you get if you stay up past 9.
Whats so special about this pic???
Hasn’t everyone got a “confused homeboy”(TM) alarm clock??
when 6:00am hits ……”WAKE UP YO’LL… IT BE TIME TO CRANK DAT CHRISTRAPING G-SHIT, nYUGA”
(paxl rose for the win)
i forgot to put “annoying” and “fucking” in my second sentence
yo these clothes is fresh son!
Dimmu Borgir shirt and untied laces, man, im the pimp shit.
you cant touch iss, due
oh crap!!…. a spider, i’ll scare it away wit my gangsta self