TOP FIVE THINGS I CAN’T COMPREHEND TODAY
Wednesday, February 4th, 2009 at 10:55am by Axl Rosenberg- The box office success of Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Doesn’t it seem like this movie should just be some kind of Darwinian trick – like anyone who buys a ticket is automatically deemed too stupid to live and is consequently immediately shot in the head?
- The virus-like spreading of the Valley Girl accent to women all across America. This is why the terrorists hate us. These women’s tubes should be involuntarily tied (with no anesthesia) to prevent the furthering of their wretched species.
- Fucktards who think it’s okay to hold the fucking elevator fucking door and have a conversation with a friend when there are other people on the elevator who presumably want to get wherever they’re going. I think I should be allowed to kill their families while they watch.
- This asshole. His point is…?
- Anyone not loving Death. ‘Nuff said.
-AR
Number two is surely a good enough excuse to post the Frank Zappa song Valley Girl…
…except it’s owned by Warner and therefore there aren’t any embeds on YouTube. Great.
It’s still possibly the only good thing to ever come out of that accent though.
Wow, that came out of nowhere! Isn’t Symbolic the best?
I believe #4 explains #1…Kill me now!
Hey axl…ure a fuckin douche!
Now Mrs. Rosenberg, leave the family strife for the front garden where it belongs.
Death are awesome indeed, and this was the song and “Pull the Plug” that got me into them, good choice!
Can’t wait for Axl’s explanation of the stimulus package. Him having an MBA from the London School of Economics and all.
For christ’s sake man, stop sucking Obama’s cock. It’s getting ridiculous.
republican talking points are always good for a laugh. I wish there would’ve been more to that video. I’d love to see him explain what his point is.
Thank God Senator John Thune used $100 bills in his attempt to “put this in perspective”. It’s all so very clear now. If he had used $1 bills, I think my head would have exploded.
One thing I can’t comprehend: People who say “’nuff said” thinking that just by saying the phrase they’ve ended the argument and proven their point.
I can’t comprehend people who post in the comments section of a shitty little metal blog and expect their opinions and thoughts to mean anything.
…oh.
Have to agree with @iolanach on the Obama cock sucking. Getting a little sick of it now. This is the president that was going to “change” things and then 3 of his top positions are “almost” filled with tax evading pieces of sh*t. He wants to give 900 billion dollars to companies that will probably use it to send their CEO’s to extended vacations or maybe have their offices renovated. Then you have the speaker Nancy Pelosi saying something stupid like 500 million people a month are going to lose their jobs if this doesn’t pass.
Let’s see…
corrupt staff members – check
lies to goad us into voting for a stimulus package – check
money going to rich people – check
Yep, that’s change for ya. GWB must be laughing his ass off right now.
Here’s an idea, how about register a political site, maybe something like metalsucksobama.com and then we can get back to the actual “metal” talk on metalsucks without the political overtone. Sound good?
@the_One: Interesting how you got all of that politcal discussion in with five paragraphs while the OP merely said This asshole. His point is…?.
BTW, turn off Fox News. It rots the brain…obviously.
Amazing @fortheloveofdog how you glossed over the point of those 5 paragraphs. The point was Obama (and his administration) are just political flunkies like them all. If you read over it again, you’ll notice I was comparing to GWB’s administration, not contrasting. Obama’s problems are starting to look eerily similar to GWB’s problems (corrupt staff members, lies, money to rich people/corporation). And he’s only been in office a few weeks. Sh*t, I’m waiting for the stimulus package for the big oil companies next.
So, to sum up my defense, I was IN NO WAY pushing for GWB.
For the record, I don’t watch foxnews, I get all my news from MetalSucks.
The talking points “asshole” was merely trying to make the point that one trillion dollars is an almost incomprehensible amount. His problem is that he belabored that one point with lame placards. The video clip is cut off at two minutes, so I’m guessing he went on to expound.
What he and all of the GOPers should be doing is breaking down the $885 billion into its components and determining which are truly stimulators and which are social spending projects. And what the Democrats and President Obama should be doing is creating a stimulus package that is that and another spending package that satisfies their social spending agenda.
The problem is that politicians of either shade (red or blue) are dishonest and disingenuous assholes who just spend our money to satisfy their districts so that they can be re-elected. Because we all know it’s “pork barrel” spending unless it is the funding for something in our backyard, right? THEN, it’s the “backbone” of our regional economy and necessary.
yeah….”that asshole” does have a valid point…..but the cards are lame. I wonder if he called his mom up and was like “MOOOOOOOM I HAVE A PRESENTATION FOR THE PRESIDENT TODAY!!!!”….and she was probably like “Oh sweety… congrats. To make sure you get your point across, get big plyboard displays like you did for your 8th grade science fair project!” And he apperently was like “HELL YEAH!! Thats a great idea! He’ll totally respect me! And i defiantly wont be mde fun of by some random heavy metal blog that will post my tomfoolery on the interweb!”
man I was watching fox news yesterday and Bill O’Reilly could probably take a lesson from this guy. Said lesson = make amusing comparisons and props to cover up your own jackassness.
also, I think it’s good that kevin james is a bankable star now because his standup is pretty good from what I hear. Once he gets more creative control in his movies I’m sure they’ll be better. Also, someone tell adam sandler to stop making shitty movies and ruining the legacy of happy gilmore and billy madison.
6) obnoxious MUSIC NEWS blogs who waste my time on rants from the mind of 13-year-old angst-ridden adolescent instead of actually ya know..posting MUSIC NEWS.
btw, our national debt is well on its way to being tall enough to build a bridge to the moon and we’re STILL SPENDING LIKE MONEY GROWS ON FUCKING TREES…oh wait THAT IS HOW IT WORKS HERE.
p.s.
mall cop was decent.
maybe you’d know if you’d bothered to watch it.
RIP Chuck, the Dave Mustaine of Death Metal.
Something about free speech really pisses people off, doesn’t it? Like a site with a political opinion that is obviously meant for people with the same opinion, but manages to attract flocks of critics who manage to somehow link a pointless rant by some senator to obama felatio. Man, that site should have its licence to talk suspended, really.
And Schulinder forever \M/
I have to admit I do not know much about Death but does anyone know what the name of this album is? I will be buying it IMMEDIATELY.
Isn’t that Paul and Sean from Cynic on geetar and drums?
The album is called Human.
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss