LESSONS IN FASHION, AS TAUGHT BY MOTIONLESS IN WHITE
Friday, July 10th, 2009 at 3:33pm by Vince Neilstein
Ever since discovering yesterday’s Shitstain subject matter Motionless In White, I’ve been borderline obsessed; I’ve watched the music video at least three times, as well as the video of their counterparts in suckitude, Attack Attack!. I’m fascinated; I just can’t get enough! There’s so much to be astounded and baffled by, and ENDLESS material to make fun of. Both videos have been making the Interwebs LOLz rounds rapidly. So I thought we’d take a look at the fine fashion sported by Motionless In White.
- Side-swooped haircuts: Here’s a tip guys, take back all the hours of your lives you’ve spent flat-ironing your hair and try writing some original music.
- Sleeve-tats: these are the corporate suits and ties of the emo community. Keep thinking it makes you stand out from the pack, guys!
- Black straight-jacket and gloves: Marilyn Manson made this cool in 1996. You were 5 years old then.
- Neck-tats: welcome to the world of being unemployable after your generic brand of music is no longer the “it” thing to 14-year-olds.
- Lip piercings: \m/
- Generic silver jewelry: chicks dig it.
- White belts: ironic, yo.
- The singer: what is up with THIS dude? Where to even begin? How about the douchetarded haircut? What’s up with the peis sideburn? Is this dude Jewish? Is he Davey Havok’s younger brother?
- “Sold at Hot Topic:” It’s as if they’re saying “If you want to dress like us, shop at Hot Topic!”
Suburban youth of America, are you taking notes?
-VN
this is my band and i am piss
piss*ed
your band sucks
+1
i see that you are acitng tough behind the so called internet however you will be sourly dissapointewd if you ever come to a motionless in white show
i never will go to a show from this shit band Chris.
so shut the fuck up and deal with it, your fucking emo shit band sucks
@ryan
you act as if you no something, when in whcih reality you woefully dont.
That you are really a girl
Chris, I hope your music career takes a turn for the better because your grammar sucks gaping assholes.
I wonder if this is really this dude’s band. They obviously didn’t see the post when that shitty band covered katy perry then every single band member got ripped apart in it. that was funny.
Anyways, if it is. Seriously guys, have some pride and write a decent song
MIW is like, the best band ever! what is wrong with you? ur an asshole.
I think you had it right the first time: you are piss.
grow up you are piss
well your band sucks cock congratulations
Hey guys, have we told this guy his band sucks yet?
“i see that you are acitng tough behind the so called internet however you will be sourly dissapointewd if you ever come to a motionless in white show”
A. it is called the internet
B. I am sure disappointment would befall anyone attending your shows.
blow dead goats
i’d go to a show just to tell you guys you suck
You suck! And if you the ’singer’, then you suck more!
dude honestly even if u guys rock that hole emo-core scenester thing…what the fuck is up with the fucking singer’s hair?!!!1…like all the dudes rocks the generic long gay black hair…but the singer looks like he woke up in a house full of drunk frats and they fucked his ass and shaved his head….
It’s called originality and it is somethign that you Boot-Rocker metal men will never fully grasp. Way to show your’e true colors. A Pathetic shame
You’re very original with 6 guys in the band that look exactly the same. There’s no one in the world that could pick you out of your genre’s lineup, musically or visually. Learn to spell motherfucker.
Instead of revolutionizing the haircut industry with your ‘originality’, why don’t you try writing some original fuckin’ music?
You and you crabcore brethren are a goddamn cancer on heavy music. You took all the wrong lessons from the 90s, and reduced several wonderful genres of music (post-hardcore, metalcore, hell, even early emo) into breakdowns and vomit-screaming. You play music that requires you trade in your balls for hair product, and you make me sick.
You’re a bunch of walking haircuts that do nothing but waste precious air, and I hope you get hit by a truck.
Ooohhhh… Crabcore. I’m using that one.
+1
ikinda feel bad for you. but seriosly stop trying to be metal. stick to screamo-pop, or metalcore. dont mix the too
Get your hand off of your band member’s cocks and you could type correctly Chris (bitch)
obvious troll is obvious
If this is your band, go fuck a goat…Hey, the lead singers right there, easy work.
To use my favorite Roadhouse qoute;
” I used to fuck guys like you in prison”
Fucking look at yourselves Chris, take a good long look fucker
your whores
this music used to have a heart until
fucks like you sucked it dry
The thought of you crying to you’re own mother makes me heartly laugh. the thing that i feel bad for is that you and your “metal” “brothers” will never ever understand the evolution and prgression that my band and our peers are heralding through the metal scene. it is a damn shame.enjoy your’e metallica and guns and roses albums and pretend as if the world of music has not in fact evolved to something that you will never be. you are all pathetic. grow up and stop sitting on websites that in fact insult the very gener of music that you claim to love so ddeeply. let me ask you somthing metal nerds if you love this gener so much than why dont you follow up on the progression of its music instead of sitting on your’e own asses listening to old music that is boring and holds no artistic merit anymore and wish you could go back to a time when you were not bald and still had a dick. wow. pathetic.
I am sorry, this is not progression of music, in fact, this is quite the opposite… When metalheads look at you, they say “Fuck, a new hair metal era…”. Bad metalcore has been there for a good 10 years now. ‘Cause that’s what you are: bad metalcore. And for the record, there are hundreds of bands out there that play good music and are still progressive (and way fucking more heavy than your Barbiecore). Just to name a few, Meshuggah, Mastodon, Opeth, Devin Townsend, Voivod, etc.
It’s “genre” you fucking moron
i can tell that chris isnt anywhere near being a metalhead because he just named the most generic and most popular metal bands (now soft rock) in that long paragraph that must have taken him and his band members hours to write. plus just cause the site is called metalsucks doesnt mean that is all we talk about, how about you scroll down the home page and read the fuckin headlines to some of the stories.
your music has artistic merit? how is going back in time going to help what i consider good music? how is not having a dick related to understanding what is music? please explain
your music is plain and generic and repetative and wont last long cause there are other shitty bands like yours that sound exactly the same and your genre of music will disappear very fast. i bet your stage show is lousy and you all just stand there playing your instruments and your singer sounds like shit most of the time.
and take a english class because you dont know how to spell.
you’re = you are. your = your. sound the same but are completely different
I find it quite hysterical that you call us out for hiding behind the internet and do nothing but talk shit, yet you do so much of it yourself. Now I’m not a big fan of hypocrites but you are starting annoy the shit out me. Your music sucks, you are the singer of the band and frankly you suck. I don’t give a damn what you think of your “gener” or your music and what you have to say about us ‘“metal” “brothers”’. Might there be some progression, maybe, but progression isn’t always good. Look at a trend in metal, the abominations of metal as most put them: hair metal, nu-metal, metalcore, and deathcore. Each of them is worse than the one before it. And what you bring is not progress or evolution, you bring crap to a metal scene that’s already packed with crap. I can’t speak for the other people on this site but records that sound the same (HINT like yours) really hold no artistic merit and really do nothing but beat a dead horse and reinforce the bad aspect of the style and band rather and something positive. In closing your scene and band won’t last the test of time you ignorant prick.
PS – You definitely aren’t progressing beyond the spelling capabilities of grade school student that’s for sure.
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dont listen to these morons chris, MIW is AMAZING, they’re just jealous cuz they wish they were u, all the guys in the band are awesome and ur super sweet (i met u in reno), and ur hair is awesome!!!
“this is my band and i am piss”
I seriously can’t stop laughing. Yes, you are piss. I know. PLEASE make this the banner on Metalsucks!
Haha, this is classic. I hate these fucking bands. In Hot Topic’s defense, though, they have some pretty awesome metal stuff and well as all the trendy BS. I’ve found some great metal on vinyl for cheap prices as well.
They still make vinyl?
As much as I hate hot topic, I have found some good stuff there, DEATH cd’s in the clearance because they are not br00t4l enough for todays sceneagers. i also found battles in the north there too.
Yeah. I see new bands doing vinyl as a collector’s item. I’m thinking of getting the new BTBAM Alaska vinyl and frame it because I’m a dork.
No dude, don’t appologize…framing vinyl is awesome. Album sleeves look great hanging on the wall at home.
This coming from a guy who probably raves about having 3000+ MP3s on his shitty fucking iPod, where all the songs sound like they were recorded from a transistor radio & the album art is the size of a fucking stamp, just so he can try to look all fucking cool & intelligent with his touch screen.
Dude, they still make Vinyl because it has superior sound quality as along as you’re not playing it on your Fischer Price equipment, Fucktard!
Vinyl, cds, mp3s…all sound the FUCKING SAME
Bullshit, MP3’s don’t have shit on vinyl. There are quite a few bands that just have “it” when it comes to being heard on vinyl. Get acquainted with vinyl and you’ll like it. Propagandhi’s “How to Clean Everything” sounds waaaay better on vinyl. It’s more metal than on mp3.
K you can enjoy your “it” and I’ll listen to whatever format is most convenient for me, if you can tell the difference between vinyl and mp3 god bless you
To people not realising the difference between vinyl, cd’s and mp3’s (geek allert). Vinyl is an analog way of reproducing sounds, meaning that you have the complete waveform that is initially recorded (if the recording is also analog). But even in digital recordings you have an analog reproduction. In cd’s the reproduction is digital, meaning that you take the waveform, break it down in 1’s and 0’s and try to recreate it. While that provides clarity of sound, since you don’t have a lot of mechanical parts and dust on the record adding to the sound, it also sterilizes the end result since the logic of digital reproduction is to use integrals to reproduce the sound. In order for an integral based sound system to reproduce accuratelly a waveform, it needs infinite numbers of steps (not possible). So in any case you can never get the warmth of vinyl. Now mp3’s take the sterile sound of a cd or the warm sound of a vinyl and cut all the harmonics and frequencies that are not audible to decrease the size of the file.
But guess what, those inaudible harmonics and frequencies actually affect the audible harmonics and frequencies.
So in conclusion, yes it is very difficult to listen to vinyls (and nowdays cd’s), while you are moving. Yes it very expenive to buy a good record player and have to do all sort of crazy maitenance to keep the vinyls and equipment in top form. Yes not alot of bands produce vinyls anymore. Yes you can have a gazillion mp3’s in your mp3 player and easily download and listen to new things and we all do it.
But not to be able to hear the difference means:
a) YOU ARE FREAKING DEAF!!! (capitals for empahsis)
b) You should listen to the music without earplugs once in a while and in normal volumes (which prevents deafness from occuring)
c) You should try listening some albums or other types of music that are not so overproduced that sound like mp3’s anyway (even though you can still hear the difference)
Geek allert out!!!!!!
the guys on the left are clones
Craaaaaaaaaaab peeeeeople!
i was totally just discussing crab people on here the other day.
*Arrgh* Sponge Bob, You don’t like my Krabby Patties??
No, Mr. Krabs, I don’t like the way you’re dancing with that guitar…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p6_WZJJNBw
…and are 12
lmfao crab people !!
hahahahahha… it was crab people all along…
I bet the young lady in the middle with the five o’clock shadow feels way uglier than all the other girls in the band. She probably has to put out more. Still though, it’s pretty cool to see chicks in metal/rock getting a chance. It’s like L7 all over again, only you know, really crappy.
Huh? They’re what? Really? Oh man…. wow.
YEAH! I couldn’t tell if they were dudes or chicks either. It’s like glam metal is back, but this is far far worse.
I was gonna make a clever joke about how the girls in this band are so hot, especially the one with the island sideburns. But alas, you beat me to it.
haha God this shit is awful, but I can’t get enough of it.
I thought the reference to Beavis and Butthead in regards to these fucking horrid bands was classic.
the name of the keyboardist is Balz??
LOL
How fucking embarrassing.
to be in a band that sucks huge dick and your name be something that no one in this band has.
balz hahahahaah
his whole name is probably balzac.
Fashioncore?
Queercore is the best I could come up with. The sad thing is that as goofy as these “guys” look, they probably get tons of puss.
Queercore is already a fairly legitimate genre
Tons of hole maybe, but it’d be tons of hole off pudgy emo birds with bad tattoos, too many piercings and make up applied with a shovel. I mean really, when was the last time you saw a decent looking girl hanging off the arm of a guy who looks like these knob jockeys?
this band is fucking shit
funny as hell to laugh at though
Their haircuts lead me to believe they all got into a fight with a lawnmower. The mower won.
Vince, are you going to start writing for http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/ ? Your obsession will soon become infatuation! Hahah!
Sorry Vince.
not quite sure that all of them are actually male to begin with.
Ohhhh the horrrorrr… the horrorrr….
There’s too much. There’s just toooo much.
Are these guys really for real? Really? Seriously? Can anyone be this stupid????
i dunno guys…
i just don’t know anymore.
they make it difficult to rip on bands like tool and the deftones. in fact, i’ll take back all the negative comments i posted on The List
Tattoos are the ’00s equivalent of parachute pants and Polo shirts in the ’80s.
im suprised such pussish looking excuses for men could stand to get soo many. many a-tears were shed for them neck-tats
Those things are done with Sharpie
Shit, they probably popped a couple vicodin and wine coolers before they went in, so they wouldn’t feel anything.
bawls………… these kids make it too easy now a days.
Is that dude fourth from the right (3rd from the left for those of you who can’t count past three) holding is dick? Or covering it?
he most likely doesn’t even have one.
fail band is fail.
I wouldn’t touch this band with a 19 foot stick. Unless of course, the stick was on fire… then I definitely would.
I think that picture should be used for the Weekly Photo Funny Caption Contest. Sadly, right now I’m at a loss for words as to how ridiculous these girly-men look. I’ll check back in if anything worth saying comes to mind. I guess for right now, a picture is worth a thousand words, and at least 500 of those words are gay slurs. I kid, I kid.
I’m a member of this band and we suck
yes, yes you do..you guys and atilla and brokencyde and all the other bullshit that makes moron teenagers do that retarded harcore karate at shows suck so hard it makes me wanna cry
I can’t agree more, I’ve officially decided to leave the group, get a normal mens’ haircut, lose the makeup, get my tattoos removed, take music lessons, grow a penis, get relaxed fit pants to accomodate said penis, and use any and all piercings I have to poke out the eyes of my previous listeners….then I’m going to use spray adhesive on Motionless In White’s minivan accelerator and send them into a lake….this is glue, stronggggg stuff. I will reinvent my image.
Look for me playing guitar for Ozzy this fall.
you’ll need a beard if you’re lookin to do that…send them into like the grand canyon, they might be able to swim
I’ve been playing with these guys since we first picked up instruments, going on 7 weeks now, and trust me we’re all deathly afraid of water…and canyons…
Have metal dudes always looked like chicks? Or were the more effeminate looking ones forced to grow beards so they’d fit in better. I swear to Satan every one of these bands look like the v-necked ninjas who suddenly materialize on the streets as if from a hair product smoke bomb. Where do they come from?
I need to look at a picture of Nile just so I can remember what metal musicians used to look like, before Victory Records began successfully implementing cloning technology…look at the motherfucker second from the left, it’s a goddamn mirror image of the dude next to him. I bet they both toss their hair the same way too. ARRRRGGGHHHHH
Nile was the first band I thought of when it comes to the antithesis of Motionless In White…Karl Sanders could and should eat these motherfuckers
Karl Sanders looks like he already ate several of them. Ba-zing!
True, Motionless In White used to be a 9-piece fusion band…the saxophonist and jazz flautist were both eaten
SAXOPHONE IST NOT KRIEG!!!
my saxophone is totally fucking awesome! it’s literally black metal. it’s more black metal then… nicholas cage’s son’s band!(which isn’t saying much)
its not about the clothes, its not about the music, its about who can crabcore the lowest and most brutal.
I wonder if the marlyin manson esque singer is their gimmick, only problem is that song they made didn’t have a very good “brutal breakdown” very second rate imo
these chix are hott!
i’d date any one of these fine, fine ladeez!
They’d better do a full update about Chris from Motionless in White responding to this post and getting uber-owned. That was some funny shit!
idk what you guys are talking about, these chicks are hot.
There are six members in this band, yet a toddler could bang on pots and pans and come up with something better than this.
It reminds me of Slipknot, they have nine members but it only sounds like they have two.
This shit is hilarious.
What the hell is you guys’ problem? I’ve met these guys twice. Sure their music is unoriginal. But they’re some of the nicest dudes around, love to play music, and love to hang with their fans, so at least show some goddamn respect for that.
No!
no no and no again u sir are mistaken
1, ur on a metal site not hot topic.com, youve put in the wrong adress
2. how they are to there fans , who in the first place are fucking idiots is irrelivant.
there all under the age of 18 and all look like eachother with black or blonde,
fried straight hair and lip rings and have this idea that there parents “dont understand them”
when actuallity there saying
WTF ! WHERE DID I GO WRONG Y IS MY KID A MALL HOPPING DUMB ASS!
AND Y IS MY SON DRESSING LIKE A LIL GIRL!
these six guys or should i say these ken dolls all have the same hair cut and are ripping off
several decent to really go bands “ie” old afi and manson and the misfits ect.
we are not shitting on them based on looks ,thats the bonus for the shitty music like hey to make up for lost time u get a free laugh at our expense.
origonal it isnt and chris grow up ur to old to hit on girls in hot topic and get an origonal hair do
u fucking unimaginative ass bandit.
You’ve spent wayy too much time in the back of their tour bus
Who gives a flying fuck how nice they are? If you can’t play good music, you shouldn’t be fucking making music. Nice might get you by in high school, but it won’t do you a fucking bit of good in the real world.
tilted my head to the left and their faces sort of reminded me of whales.
Any groupies that sleep with these guys would be guilty of child abuse.
Emo-mallcore is the new hairmetal!
Are we certain there anre’t any chicks in this band? I mean, it reminds me of one of those episodes of Maury where they bring out a bunch of trannies in bikinis and try to make you guess which ones don’t have dicks…
This shit is gay.
And as a gay man, I KNOW MY GAY!!!
And that’s not meant to be a compliment to these guys, either… should clarify that.
*AHEM*
HAHAHHAHAH!!!! This isn’t a real ban………oh……..wow……*leaves*
nothing says metal like a plunging v-neck.
It figures she has to be flat as a pancake too, the Motionless In White chick makes Kristen Randall look like she’s packing cantaloupes
Wait, there’s a chick in this band?
I thought they all were?
Hm, they all could be bulldykes except the one with the aborted facial hair, I’m betting he’s just a Brazilian shemale with a little more testosterone than normal. The lead singer is probably a bitch lesbian though, doesn’t have that “I want to fist your face” look.
Much of this could be applied to the metalcore crowd you guys love getting balls deep in.
Just thought you should know.
Queercore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
so funny slipknot was brought up bc its the singer and drummers favorite band
I don’t think the people on this board are showing the proper respect to this band….many years from now, people will speak with awe about seeing the birth of a new genre at Motionless in White shows: Douche-Core.
I blame all of this on Crazy Town’s audio molestation of Refused’s New Noise. Horrifying.
At least when they are 45 and wondering at the horrible life-choices they’ve made,
they will already have plenty of practice at perfecting the “extreme-side-comb-over” so popular among balding aging men of yesteryear.
If you keep making fun of them they’ll cut themselves
Lol! Save a razor blade – Kill an Emo…
yeah this band sucks.
yeah their look sucks.
you guys suck more
for wasting your time crying about it.
So then, by that logic, you suck even more for complaining about us complaining about them.
+1
indeed.
because I was clearly complaining like a little bitch.
I have just realised my band are gay. im off 2 suck a cock
” i have just realised my band are gay” i think its time to quit the band and go back to school
If your band released more music, I would be piss.
I wonder if they ever get the outlines of their pearl necklaces tattooed on their chest.
Guys I’m sorry for talking smack about metal and this site. I’ve realized my gener of music sucks sweaty balls and I’m going to kill myself by way of hanging. I’ve taken down all my Morrissey posters and burned them and am ready to die now.
QQ,
Chris
This apparent male is an imposter. Morrissey will never die.
but there band members will.
and you spelled that sentence correctly! have a smiley face sticker.
What’s a gener?
It’s an intentional typo. Scroll up and you’ll see that the “real Chris” rants about some stupid shit nobody cares about and spells genre as “gener”
GOD DAMMIT
are the guys on the left two different people or is the ones head photo shopped in the back onto another body?
There are guys in that picture?
Aaaaaaahahahahahaahahahah
Ummm let them do their own thing. you guys that diss this band just ignore them. Go about listening to what you want. do let it get to you. maybe do something go break into the mainstream with your metal. your gonna have people talkin shit about your band as well so dont freakin trip if they suck or not. Everyone has to have a hater..
those girls have really small tits
I’m pretty sure that all of you just got trolled by “Chris”.
Does nobody remember the Waking the Cadaver feud where he said I hope you never find yourself at one of our shows….
Just saying.
Sorry to ruin the fantasy.
I never bought it anyway. I seriously doubt any of these guys parents would let them go to a site like this. They probably have the internet on lockdown in their bedrooms. I mean seriously…I’m sure their parents are already afraid they are looking at gay porn…
hey man i think this band is pretty cool… totally original… and oh wait i just saw the video… change my mind.. .. fuck man is this another attack attach rip off… fuck look at that singer man… pants get any tighter and he wont be able to keep that tampon in his vagina for long…. matter of fact, in 6 months…. you’ll never see this shit band take the all mighty attack attacks place…. matter of fact… fuck attack attack for spawning this kind of evil hot topic band on our ears…. welp now time to go kill myself for liking this genre….
(puts gun in mouth.. pulls trigger)*****
Okay, after reading some of these comments I had to partake in the fun. There is no originality in this band to be found. Like someone else said before, the singer looks like Davey Havok’s brother, or wanna be fan, I can’t tell which. As far as the music, come on…really? Isn’t this genre already full of cookie cutter bands? You’re beating a dead genre to death…yes, a dead genre to death, you have made that possible. Every rare moon a decent band emerges from the pile of filth we know as the “hardcore,” and “metal” scene of our generation, and I can safely say you are not it.
One last thought, if you want to trick anyone into thinking you might be a decent band, get rid of the “sold at hot topic” icon. Hot topic has gone totally down hill, and all decent bands sold there don’t advertise their material being available at that emo haven hell hole.
I just realized, the singer of this band has the same hairdo as the Virus douchebag in Dope!
i came across this, by searching for “Motionless in White sucks”, mainly because i was wondering if they broke up yet. I used to play in a legitimate band, and played with these guys way too many times.i am so happy someone else realize they are terrible. Angelo (drummer) has always been regarded in the local scene as one of the better drummers, and i always thought he would be better suited in a real band, but the rest of the band is really very very talentless. And as far as they way the singer looks……………………………………..i know the girl that dresses him.
The singer looks like Cher had a gothic daughter.
Captain Wookie owned your shitty band and your ‘originality’
Congratulations for having downsyndrome if you actually thought the person named “Chris” was actually the Chris from Motionless in White.
As if anyone who is making music and earning money (which you guys aren’t because you’re wasting your lives flaming music on here (lol)) would spend time posting on an article of petit and childish banter.
Congrats moron, you’ve just grouped yourself into the same category as us.
omg u suck u no what u should do kill urself because you have nothing better to do but pick on poor motionless in white which just happens to be my favorite band dude u suck get a fucking life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you know why they’re poor? Because THEY SUCK!! If you wanna listen to some decent hardcore check out Hatebreed, Throwdown, Norma Jean, as i lay dying (yes i know not hardcore, just lumping genres here people), Alexisonfire. These guys reek of pre-teen wanna be rock. It’s like the emo version of the Jonas Brothers.