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Ask Oderus

GWAR’S ODERUS URUNGUS: YOUR QUESTIONS ANSWERED!

Tuesday, July 21st, 2009 at 5:00pm by

gwar oderus urungusLast week we made Gwar’s intergalactic frontman Oderus Urungus available to answer your questions, for which you wasted no time in posting them in the comments. Mr. Urungus picked his favorites and sent them back to us yesterday, and the results are predictably raunchy and entertaining!

Since this went so well, we’re going to turn it into a bi-monthly regular column Ask Oderus. Got any questions? Post them in the comments below, and Oderus himself will choose his favorites and post his answers here in two weeks.

Q: How does it feel to have Greg Gutfeld lodged so far up your ass?

A: Quite nice really, he isn’t that large!

More questions answered after the jump…

Since your Oscar worthy performance in the movie Empire Records, why have you shunned Hollywood and the Movie industry?

I have not, they have shunned me. But I have made a name for myself in another area of movie-dom – television!

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Stomp the life out of both of them.

You are suddenly attacked by a large naked man. How do you beat him off?

With my mouth!

That kid that was on Jerry Springer during the “Shock Rock” special, did he ever get a decent haircut and take off the lipstick? Or did he just get the crap beat out of him like he said was ok?

He didn’t make it out of the building. As soon as the show was over he was stripped, flayed, and sectioned. His body was fed to pigs.

What is the worst thing you have ever done by your own standard of morality?

Put up with art-fags as long as I have.

How’s the weather on Scumdogia?

Molten pus, methane clouds moving in throughout the afternoon… tomorrow? Chance of lava.

When do you get your own Fox News show?

A show is coming but still won’t satisfy me. I want an entire fucking network!

Rosie O’Donnell or Tom Cruise–who would you rather fuck?

I would fuck Rosie O’Donnell with Tom Cruise.

Have you ever thought of making a scale model of the Statue of Liberty entirely out of meat?

No I haven’t… and I thought I had thought of everything! Maybe I should put you on the payroll!

-OU

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  • Ziltoid

    Im a gay kid who constantly complains about bands that claim that their metal, any advice to shut me up?

    • Ziltoid

      If you’re going to mock me, learn when to use “they’re” instead of “their.”

      • Jo

        god no, not two ziltoids….i need to stop putting acid in my coffee

  • Jesse

    Learn how to spell “they’re”. People might take you seriously.. or not.

    • Ziltoid

      I didn’t even notice your comment here when I responded to faux-Ziltoid. Glad to see that someone else appreciates correct grammar.

      • noel

        ummmm…beginning a sentence with “Glad” is a sentence fragment. Cuz, you know, perfeict grammer is like soooo metalz.

        • http://www.myspace.com/somethinglikesweet CJ

          lol Ooh. Burn.

        • Ziltoid

          In context, it’s assumed that I’m the subject who is glad.

          • http://richarddawkins.net/ RICHARD DAWKINS

            SHUT THE FUCK UP. I DON’T REMEMBER SEEING YOU AT OXFORD.

  • http://www.metalsucks.net/category/scraping-genius-off-the-wheel/ Gary Suarez

    Oderus answered my question! AWESOME!

    Here’s another one: Have you ever considered doing a solo album of sentimental love songs?

    • John

      Anal Cunt did it.

    • Beard

      He answered mine too! Made my fucking year.

  • poopsmcgee

    Is there any way to enlarge my penis naturally?

  • Liam

    Who’s better in the sack: babies or animals?

    • Metal Fuckin’ Dave

      10

  • cougar party

    I saw GWAR show a few years back and you had a fake Courtney Love tear her face off and rip her eyeballs out. Any chance that you can make that happen with the real Courtney Love at your next show?

  • goolash

    Oredus, I have a plan to bind, torture, rape and kill people. Am I a bad person?

    • Kevin

      …only if you get caught.

    • http://www.adrenalinepr.com Natalie

      he won’t answer your question because you spelled his name wrong. NEXT.

  • metalguy

    how does human ass compare to space ass?
    and about that time you fucked a mose? gave or received

    • metalguy

      moose

  • lolwut

    learn to be the real ziltoid

  • http://www.hibernum.net hibernum

    What would you most recommend I dip my balls into?

  • Joe

    You claim to be more advanced as a species than we humans. Then why did you choose to emulate the vocal stylings of Sacred Reich?

  • Agmkreptile

    Is Miley Cyrus an alien? because there’s no way a human being can be that fucking ugly.

  • gibbledy-doo

    It’s already mid summer, and my friends garden is full of morning glory…help!

  • Samuel Hall

    “What is the worst thing you have ever done by your own standard of morality?”

    holy shit oderus urungus answers my question, and they choose my logo for logo of the week!

    fucking sweet
    thanks guys!

  • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

    If you could have any musician for dinner, who would it be?

  • http://www.hibernum.net hibernum

    What’s the best place to pick up 13 year old quadriplegic chicks?

  • WowWee!

    I know Las Vegas is way more boring than any other place in USA but why do some good bands not tour here?

  • Toxteth O’Grady

    Why haven’t we all been destroyed, raped, or enslaved yet?

  • Dustin at Metal Blade

    Oderus Urungus…Will you marry me?

  • Seven666

    Why haven’t you killed all the scene kids yet??

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Troy-Rickard/1516566408 Troy Rickard

    Is there crabcore on Scumdogia?

  • deanerhead

    I really didn’t enjoy your album, “The Arockalypse,” very much. Why is that?

  • poopsmcgee

    If i got breast implants would it be ok to masturbate to myself in the mirror?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mathew-James-Saunders/1153389571 Mathew James Saunders

    What comes out of your bumpy red penis when you ejaculate? And is there any way I could get a sample myself? (For personal reasons)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/-/676756844 Мирослав Денковски

    Who will win in a wrestling match? Lordi or Pussycat Dolls?

  • Anselmowitz

    Who is better, Joho Sanitized Prince or Corpse Micheal Jackson?

  • xCOOCOOKALx

    A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car, who’s driving?

    • Biff Tannen

      The cop.

      • http://www.adrenalinepr.com Natalie

        oooh very good, sir.

  • http://spinelanguage.wordpress.com/ spinelanguage

    Situation: you’re in a sports bar in Denmark casually beheading soccer fans. Lars Ulrich walks in. Your eyes lock. What do you shove up his ass and how fast do you go?

  • Ziltoid

    OOOGA….dooooyumpoooo….UUUnnnGGGlllppppfffththhhhthhh (fart) heeeheeeehhheee OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOgggllllalaglaglaglll….

    • Ziltoid

      Fuck you Ziltoid.

      Fuck you.

      • http://infinitybasement.wordpress.com billybob

        this is trippy!

      • Ziltoid

        No Ziltoid…fuck YOU

        Fuckin’ FUCK

        boooooooplegupooo…

  • RomuluXX

    Whats your favorite kind of inter-species erotica?

  • seveword

    What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you read these words: Bill O’Reilly, marshmallows, and a cocker spaniel?

  • Pace

    Kerry King, George Bush and yourself all walk into a bar, describe what hilarity would ensue…

  • Metal Fuckin’ Dave

    My shirt is still stained with Hitler’s seaman from one of your shows. What is the best way to remove the funk of tyrannical man chowder?

  • deanerhead

    Is it fair the singer from Anthrax got fired for shitting on the bass player’s back? Don’t you regularly give Cleveland steamers to Jizmak?

  • TurdFerguson

    I’d stomp those fuckers too, thanks!

    Why do they put holes in crackers?

  • http://www.welovemetal.com We Love Metal

    I think someone has already fucked Rosie with Tom, but man that made me laugh

  • Lord Bling

    Do you like fish sticks?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Livingston/25310975 Robert Livingston

    So what did the people of Mars look like before you killed them all?

  • Biff Tannen

    GWAR is fucking terrible. Don’t bother with the “They have a great live show” comeback. They don’t. It’s entertaining for about 15 minutes, but REALLY drags on an on and on. I wanted to stick a pair of scissors in my ears. HORRIBLE band. HORRIBLE.

  • http://www.myspace.com/monotheistmetal Shiv

    Why the fuck are you playing The Gathering of The Juggalos?

    • lolwut

      ^

  • Drew

    how many juggalos are u gonna slaughter?

  • http://kzscsledge.blogspot.com/ GoatRidersHorde

    Thanks for answering my question last week?

  • Dannibal

    When could another DBX album/tour be expected?

  • Captain Wookie

    Why haven’t you slaughtered ICP and all the Juggalo’s yet?

  • b-rad

    how did the “Gor-Gor” spin off for Cartoon Network’s “Codename: Kids Next Door” come about in the first place?

  • SteveM

    What are your thoughts on Crabcore?

    *Search it on MetalSucks

  • Pace

    George Bush, Kerry King and yourself walk into a bar, hilarity ensues.
    Discuss….

  • deanerhead

    When you headlined the Sounds of the Underground, would you say that GWAR killed on that tour? Or did you just kill it?

  • shit sandwich

    When is Sleazy P. Martini going to usurp power of the United States and force the population to mine for crack rocks?

  • MikeSucksMikesBalls

    How is it that Kerry King became a pretentious dickhead, but you are still cool and willing to anally violate any of us bohabs who are up for it?

  • Nathan

    Dear Oderus, can you please ask Dave Brokie where my promised “Gwar tickets for life” are… I gave that bastard a bunch of free drugs when he was in Tucson – on the day of 9/11 – I’m sure he’ll remember – as it was freakin 9/11 that day – anyway, I sure could have used those “Gwar tickets for life” recently. So, can ya ask him? I know it’s a lousy thing to ask of a god… but hey, I’m a cheap bastard.