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Reviews

COREY’S TWO-WORD ALBUM REVIEWS: ARKAEA’S YEARS IN THE DARKNESS

 Friday, August 21st, 2009 at 12:00pm by

arkaea

Extreme-kin Park.

metal hornsmetal horns
(two out of five horns)

[Corey Mitchell (AKA "The Old Fart") is a best-selling true crime author, founder of the #1 true crime blog, In Cold Blog, and sad about the recent death of my friend and fellow true crime author, Dale Hudson. RIP.]

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  • Chilech

    Easiest way to put people off buying an album ever.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Corey-Mitchell/660352330 Corey Mitchell

    Goal achieved.

    • Chilech

      In fact, I think the cover art does enough.

      I’m also fully expecting someone to come on and query whether the fact you’ve used a hyphen makes it a three word review.

      • Ziltoid

        YOU USED A HYPHEN.

        THAT MAKES IT A THREE WORDS REVIEW.

        AND FUCK YOU!

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Corey-Mitchell/660352330 Corey Mitchell

          cap locks ruleszes

        • Chilech

          Oh wow, another Ziltoid impostor.

          Fuck, he must be loving all of this.

          • Brevity is a Virtue

            No. Ziltoid probably hates having his reputation tainted. His imposters are all stupid.

          • Ziltoid

            Yes, these impostors are all idiots. I hate them. As much as I would’ve loved the review to be “Shit Sandwich,” this description is more than good enough. Well done.

    • timmah

      hit the nail on the head with that review

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jesse-Menard/502061034 Jesse Menard

    hahaha yup

  • Chuckles

    Shit Sandwich

    • Biff Tannen

      beat me too it !!!

    • Ziltoid

      I said this in the ESTK post <_<

      Still, very much correct way to describe this.

  • (required)

    breviloquent

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Corey-Mitchell/660352330 Corey Mitchell

      I love this word.

      • Brevity is a Virtue

        Me too.

  • Strapping Young Lad

    jeez. i wasted 12 bucks on this album. I love threat Signal and Fear Factory, but GOD this album is boring. I don’t even mind the vocals, its just that every song just isn’t creative at all.

    • seveword

      Oh, come now. Don’t think of it as having wasted 12 dollars; think of it as having purchased an extremely expensive coaster!

      • Strapping Young Lad

        yea, my beer does look fancy now!

  • cougar party

    All i needed to know.

  • Rik

    This album should have been a lot better than it is. Threat Signal actually have some damn good vocals, and yet on this record his vocals just totally suck.

    Having said that, I do like the album. Just not as much as I was expecting to.

    • Strapping Young Lad

      yeaa… they do. This album shoulda been awesome in theory, but goddamn, every song just feels so forced. and the riffs! SO boring!

  • http://www.solidsterecords.com NoCowNoFood

    ARKASUCKS.. I dont even mind in downloading it as s zio eaither buy the record, wating for the New Baroness instead

  • Bicro

    Brilliant review.

    BRILLIANT!!!

  • OBEY1019

    I like this review haha

  • Vlad

    Sadly right… even Linkin Park could sound better.. it’s not bad.. it’s just boring.. I love the “dinoless” Fear Factory, but a “Burtonless” its just lame

  • groverXIII

    I think I listened to this album… I know I downloaded it, and it was in my queue of albums, and then the next thing I knew it was in my Recycle Bin and it was an hour later. It’s like I blacked out or something.

    To say that this album was forgettable would be an understatement.

  • Ziltoid

    I heard one song, and I thought that I was listening to Linkin Park. Enough said.

  • mike

    Oh well. I like this album, and it will remain in my rotation.

    Anyhow, here’s a new Threat Signal song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eolTsLoX6JY). Ridiculously catchy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Dasher/30826541 Matt Dasher

    As much as I respect Ray Herrerra as a musician, this album fucking sucked. If you want to hear familiar musicians do a debut album for a new band, listen to Tenet.

    • groverXIII

      Funny… I just downloaded that the other day, although I have yet to listen to it.

    • cantbeboughtorsold

      wow, that was awesome! Good old school feel….

  • karlos

    I heard a song of this on the radio the other day, and the first thing that came to mind was “oh, it’s the other two guys trying to sound like divine heresy”

  • metalguy

    heres mine
    GAY FONT

  • GC

    I like Linkin Park and this shit is awful

    • groverXIII

      Well, you get five points for thinking this shit is awful, but you lose ten points for liking Linkin Park.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/Demigod1 Tyler

    Two word review of your two word review: I came.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Corey-Mitchell/660352330 Corey Mitchell

      Ha! Ha! Ha! Eeewwww…..

  • thrashley simpson

    Couldn’t have said it better myself.