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Editorials

THE GRINCH WHO STOLE HALLOWEEN

 Wednesday, October 21st, 2009 at 10:35am by

Halloween is making me absolutely fucking crazy this year. You know how people get fed up with the mass-consumerism of Christmas and what it says about American society? I kind of see Halloween in the same light. As soon as October hits (and often even before), the grocery store isles fill up with candy and all anyone can talk about is “what are you gonna be for Halloween this year???”. There’s SO much emphasis and pressure on it that it just becomes crazy and stressful. Like on New Year’s Eve how everyone stresses about where they’re going to be when the ball drops… who fucking cares? It’s a damn cluster of lights signifying the fact that the earth has once again passed by an arbitrarily determined point in space. Get over it. Can’t we just leave Halloween be as a fun time for dress-up for the kiddies?

Maybe I’m just being an old curmudgeon. The ladies of Reign in Blonde took a stab at suggesting how some of their favorite metal musicians should dress up for Halloween this year. Doc Coyle as Wolverine? I like it.

Last year Frank @ Metal Injection went as a pagan metaller, full-on clad in skins, makeup and the whole 9. It was a brilliant costume I wish I’d thought up myself. This year we’re having a little party at the MS Mansion Vince Division and I think I’m just gonna be Louie and run around offering to dip my balls in things. What all do you have planned? Anything metal?

-VN

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  • CARTER

    I’m gonna dress as Rich Hallford and fuck a dude in the ass

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Hulsey/653830783 David Hulsey

      If I had to bet…I’d say Rich is a catcher, not a pitcher.

  • Peter

    I’m going as Axl Rose, I’ll be arriving at the party late and leaving early and I’m gonna blame it all on St Louis.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Hulsey/653830783 David Hulsey

    Halloween IS my Christmas. Somehow it just never gets old to me. This year (as every year) I will be something dead and horrible. I’m taking Halloween night off ( I work EVERY FUCKING WEEKEND) to do absolutely nothing but get shit drunk and watch whatever the fuck movies I have seen 1000 times before. I will probably be incorporating Trick R’ Treat into my nights viewing arrangements this time though. That movie is killer!

    • CARTER

      You take work off to dress up and stay home and watch movies and get drunk?

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Hulsey/653830783 David Hulsey

        You are goddamn right. Except I’m only dressing up to take my daughter out on “Beggars Night” which, oddly enough, generally falls on the day or two BEFORE Halloween.

        • CrapMcPoopin

          You must live in one of the three bizarro regions that do this kind of thing (mass, iowa, ohio)

          • Harut

            +1 to that. I haven’t seen Trick r treat yet, but it looks fuckin killer!

  • msv81

    I’m flying to Vegas on the 28th to see Puscifer on the 29th, Rob Zombie on the 30th, and Slipknot on Halloween night, all at The Palm Casino. Somehow, seeing 9 guys dressed up in masks and jumpsuits seems fitting this year (not to mention, I love the band and their live show, despite what any and all haters around here may say). As for a costume, I think I’ll go cheap and just be a drunken metalhead, maybe splatter some fake blood on my face/shirt.

  • Alex P.

    I like the vitriol for New Year’s Eve.

    I’ll be going as a physics joke: Schrodinger’s Frat (boy), a play on the quantum dilemma. Popped collar, backwards baseball cap zombiepaint on half my exposed skin. Zombies are sort of metal, right? I’m in a Science Program, so physics jokes are considered funny. I’m also too lazy to think of anything better.

    • Jugglemonkey

      Hey, it’s more original than the joke about Heisenburg speeding, so +1 for that.

      Just don’t O.D on anything, no matter how funny the conversation would be.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    I got burned out on Halloween’s commercialization by working retail for an indeterminate number of years. I do have a Halloween party that I’m going to next week, although I’m still figuring out what the fuck I’m going to wear.

  • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

    I fucking love Halloween, I play everything to the hilt.

  • bucketochicken

    Ugh. Halloween…

    I agree with your first paragraph, Vince.

  • http://www.reigninblonde.com Elise

    I’m just a big kid, Vincey. I miss Halloween before it was Sluttoween. :(

    • http://www.twitter.com/stabitha Stabitha

      You could be Sexy Lemmy for Sluttoween!

  • Shep

    Amon Amarth are playing on halloween here, should be plenty of people dressed up as vikings!

  • TXHellbilly

    I will be Billy Mays, complete with powdered nose.

  • Nikki

    Im going to a party dressed as Sailor Pluto from sailor moon…..yeeeeeah

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Gavin/1396340262 Mark Gavin

    I have no idea what I’m going to dress up as. However, I am going to see GWAR on Halloween night which is fucking awesome.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Gavin/1396340262 Mark Gavin

      Simmone Simmons as catwoman made my weiner feel all weird.

      • Zoker

        Ehm… it would be Simone Simons, y’know?… Simmone, as a name, is pretty laughable from my perspective.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Gavin/1396340262 Mark Gavin

          The spelling of her name isn’t really what’s important to me.

    • rachel

      haha Gwar would have an epic Halloween show. I’m seeing the Misfits on the 27th, which should be interesting.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Gavin/1396340262 Mark Gavin

        I saw the Misfits on Friday night… they only played for about an hour and they were kind of annoying, playing really fast and loud. It didn’t really sound like music. If that’s a show with Thy Will Be Done on the bill, though, you’ll have a good time.

  • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

    I ain’t to booksmart or none of that, but I is pretty shure isles got a “A” in it someplace

  • http://www.roxwel.com Pick-Axe Bobby

    Potato Kugel?

  • killdozer666

    I’m gonna be Lemmy \m/

  • Bill

    and what the fuck happened to all the horror movies on TV around Halloween? i mean, the great pumpkin does kick fucking ass, but where’s all the good stuff? i hate how it’s been turned into a cutesy holiday and another excuse for douche bags to get ripped to the tits and act like fucking idiots. “halloween pub crawl, woooooooo i’m a fucking waste of oxygen!!!” or the fucking loser trendy wanna-be wiccans who “commune with nature” by getting ripped to the tits and acting like fucking idiots.

    fuck, at least wiccan chicks put out.

    • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ SenorBivins

      AMC Fearfest, caught some gems last year.

      • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

        Fuck, did it again. Nobody saw that!

  • http://www.twitter.com/stabitha Stabitha

    Halloween is my mama’s birthday so it was always a high holy day growing up, and continues to be. (This is also part of why I have a skeleton tattooed on my arm.) This year, I’m going to be Carrie at the prom. THEY’RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU.

    The spirit of Halloween is much like the spirit of Christmas in that if you truly believe and don’t let the douches spoil your fun, it’s a grrreeeaaat fuckin’ time. Lots of good food and good company. It’s also a great time to load up on pumpkiny housewares at Target for use the whole year round.

  • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/62449cbe5ea8d22bcc2e76890fceaa37.png Lord Bling

    I’m dressing as Gary Suarez.

  • Gaia

    Well, i’ve decided to go as Bill the Butcher. Any excuse to get a fine mustache.

  • http://myspace.com/grobiwunder grobi wunder

    If you’re annoyed by YOUR Halloween, try OUR Karneval in germany some time! It may look like even us germans are able to have fun, but it’s all quite the opposite… just ordered happiness combined with inbred silliness.
    But Halloween is running rampant here, too. I think that right now there is a generation of children who don’t know that Halloween was imported…
    I feel old.

  • SHOCKTROOP

    i’m going to be a viking for the 13th time. and for the record, i fucking love halloween. best day of the year. we all get to practice black magic and get in touch with some dark shit on halloween. and you also get to see all the girls you know dress up sluttier than they ever have before

  • Simon

    I’ll dress up as Dave Mustaine. I’m gonna offend everybody at the party, and when they’ll all gather up to kick my ass, I’ll start crying and blame it on Metallica.

  • Phantasm

    I’m going as King Diamond

  • Discipleofthewatch

    I’m going to be a pirate. Not too metal, but my high heeled black boots with zippers on them are.

  • Hammer_Smashed_Hurtt/ I Fucked Ziltoid’s Mom

    Im going as Ziltoid.

    Ball-less, Pre-pubescent, never been laid..

    The whole Nine.

    Sorry thats the “Neandrethal” “Beer swilling- Pantera loving” side of me again. Do forgive.

    • Ziltoid / Hammer_Smashed_Hurt would’ve been better off if he was a blowjob instead of a person

      No, no forgiveness for you.

  • tothefourwinds

    My friend and I are planning on dressing up as Horse The Bands’ Desperate Living cover..like how they are dressed on the cover.

  • SourDeez

    I’m going to the Dethklok/Mastodon show on the 29th, unfortunately taking a music theory midterm on the 30th for which I will undoubtedly be hungover, and then drinking tons of whiskey, dressing up as one third of Immortal along with some friends (who will comprise the other two thirds), and terrorizing people in the Halloween parade on the 31st. So yeah, I’ve got a pretty metal few days planned out for myself.

  • Walker

    I’m going as the geico money. Then just be a creep and stare at people.

  • Ziltoid

    Ziltoid the Omniscient, a Manowar guy with just a loincloth, Abbath, or nothing

    I actually despise halloween, so unless there’s a party, nothing.

    • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

      When you say “nothing”, does that mean street clothes or nude?

  • The Ghost of D. Boon

    Well, consider the alternative. Australia doesn’t really do Halloween in any significant way, so instead we get Christmas decorations for sale. Right now. I kid you not.