«
»
Devin Townsend Sucks

NERD ALERT!!!

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009 at 12:00pm by

Are there WAY more nerds in metal than we thought? Is maybe the prerequisite for being a moderately succesful metal band just being cool enough to hang out with the jocks in the smoke pit at school? How many shredding bands do you know of that play incredibly well, yet are ignored because of the intangible NERD factor?

Is it possible through touring, etc., for lots of NERDS to get the NERD trained out of them to the point where they condemn other NERDS for their lack of “hangability?”

Maybe the secret sauce of metal’s allure is that it allows people to deflect lots of rage and hostility from a world that DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT by being “dark and menacing.”

The darkest and most menacing people I know of are usually either hyper-religious, into Jay Z, or don’t listen to music at all.

Metal is CATHARSIS, and a TRUE ART FORM.

My name is Devin, and I am a full blown fucking nerd.

How about you?

-DT

Tags: , , ,
  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-P-Stine/1314021455 Anthony P Stine

    Yes, I am a nerd. I play D&D, study politics because it’s fun (with no desires for mad power) and love metal, especially if it isn’t always angry.

    • Kuranes

      Me too… 35, software engineer, play D&D, read comic books… and it’s getting to the point that if a band isn’t singing about raising their swords on high and driving their longships across the fjords I’m not that interested in listening to it. Speaking of which, only four more days until Heathenfest!

      • chris

        D&D is beyond nerds, D&D is just fucking terrible, there is no better way to make sure no girl will ever talk to you then by playing D&D. ugh, heathenfest, have fun at that talentless sausage fest.

        • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

          I play D&D, and I’m married. We’ve had a couple of girls in our group, actually (although my wife isn’t one of them… she just tolerates my nerdiness).

          The fact that you’re on here posting means you’re a nerd. You may as well just embrace it.

          • Marc

            I don’t know about D&D but I play Oblivion a lot and that’s based on D&D so I guess i’m a nerd too.

    • http://www.crustcake.com/ The WZA’d

      Every Metalhead is a nerd.

      • chris

        not true

        • Cisco

          Very not true.

          • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

            shut up and give me your lunch money, nerd.

  • Riek

    What the fuck did I just read

  • Alkahest

    That song blew my mind. I should get that CD. Paul Waggoner’s song on there (Boot Dagger Boogie) is pretty sweet as well

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rik-Powell/286400508 Rik Powell

    I was once a bit of a nerd, I guess I transcended from nerd to metalhead. But really, aren’t they pretty much the same thing? I’m just nerdy about music now instead of all that other nerdy stuff.

  • A SIlls

    I’m a total geek, I play World of Warcraft and suck at it. Love metal and anything with a guitar in it. Like Anthony I love politics. So, I’m right there with you DT.

  • A SIlls

    Oh, I just finished listening to Numbered! for the first time…..Great singing over the arpeggios, bro..

  • Discipleofthewatch

    I read a lot, maybe that is nerdy. I read books continuously and take them in my bag with me everywhere. I also take metal cds and my ipod with me everywhere. You never know when you might need your book or some good music. I read all kinds of books: nonfiction, classics, fiction, anything. One of my favorites, which I think you all should read: The Electric Church by Jeff Somers. Pretty metal for a book, people, no kidding.

    • Shinaain

      I always like it when people post book recommendations here, as well as listening recommendations. I don’t get to read for recreation much anymore, but I have a crapload of books in my queue at the local library. So thanks for that one, I’ll going looking for it…

      • chris

        you should read anything that pahlaniuk writes, he is amazing

        • Shinaain

          I keep meaning to get around to him and haven’t managed to do so yet. Thanks!

      • Discipleofthewatch

        Sure thing, cool. It is a great book.

        • Discipleofthewatch

          Well, I meant that reply to be to Shinaanin’s, but there it is.

          Chris: I have read everything he’s written, and liked all of them except for that new one with the yellow and red comrade style cover, which I read half of and could not get into. All the other palahniuk books I have read and loved and bought copies of for friends.

          • chris

            yeah, pygmy was kind of…. meh. it felt like he was really trying too hard

      • http://www.last.fm/user/M60Patton Patton

        Terry Pratchett is one of the greatest writers on this planet, try him.

        • bradylikesbigbird

          hp lovecrafttttt

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-P-Stine/1314021455 Anthony P Stine

            1

          • Kuranes

            +∞

    • Shinaain

      Thanks for all the recommendations! Here’s mine: Christopher Moore. Start pretty much anywhere.

    • Kevin French

      I’m a big fan of Dashiell Hammett. He did a ton of classic hard-boiled detective fiction. Red Harvest is an awesome book, though the one he’s probably most known for is The Maltese Falcon (probably because of the Bogart Movie).

  • matt

    I never thought of myself as a true NERD, really. More nerdy than nerd. Until this past weekend, that is. I played D&D for the first time and had a shit ton of fun.

  • No OnE

    That posted track gave me a nerdgasm! A++++ will listen to again.

  • The Mummy

    You got me.

    Now come to Ireland.

  • Shinaain

    Nerds run the world. Myself? I only aspire to nerddom; alas, I don’t even qualify for geekhood. No, I’m just a garden-variety, uninspired DORK. (But at least I admit it.) The few times I’ve been mistaken for cool I could not be held responsible, because the observing parties weren’t really paying attention.

    Example of my dorkery: Someone built an R2-D2 model to-scale and I offered to crochet a droid-shawl for them, so their robot wouldn’t get cold. *shrugs* It’s what I do. \m/\m/

    • gibberish

      … I find that kinda awesome, in a way.

    • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

      That’s awesome. I’ll bet Artoo appreciated it.

    • Sin and Death

      lol @ droid-shawl

  • http://www.gamesmeetmetal.com Gamesmeetmetal.com

    Nerd of the highest order, sir. Metal, video games aplenty, and quoting Monty Python like crazy. Yep, I think I’m representative of all the dorky stereotypes. Which also makes me part of the problem.

  • http://www.gravatar.com/avatar/62449cbe5ea8d22bcc2e76890fceaa37.png Lord Bling

    I like to call myself a ‘Daywalker’. I can relate to normal people, but I don’t share with them most of what makes me tick, because they won’t get it.

  • Facebook User

    Devin, I hear you loud and clear.
    I own and run an internet cafe in Toronto. I drew on eyebrows and false ears to see Star Trek on release. My phone’s background wallpaper is Magneto, and I enjoy the Mortal Kombat song, voiced over by the Team Fortress 2 Scout’s “Bonk”s.

    Although, sometimes I put my nerd powers to good use. I’ve created a shirt that reads “Slatallicadethrax”.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Richard-He/749730660 Richard He

      +1 for the shirt – now I really fucking want one myself.

    • http://www.last.fm/user/M60Patton Patton

      Team Fortress is ace ! That song is truly epic :]

  • Miika

    I’m on the internet looking through music and gaming sites/forums while listening to Devin Townsend. Next I’m gonna go play Resident Evil.

    Hell yeah I’m a nerd.

  • Shreddy_lee

    hell yea. i build computers for fun!!1!!one!

    and love me some metal

  • badseed357

    nerd is in the eye of the beholder. i think a nerd is somebody who likes what they like regardless of what “cool kids” say. nerds think its cool to be nerdy, and its not cool to not be nerdy. so i guess cool people are nerdy to nerds. so cool people are nerd nerds.

    you find a big enough group of similarly preferenced nerds, the dualistic terms of nerd and cool start to loose meaning. in other words, if everyone starts to like the x-files, its not nerdy to like the x-files anymore. so in a room full of metalheads, no ones a “nerd”. in a room full of sportos, well, who knows what they think of us. i don’t care. the same kind of not care that the kid in the battleestar gallactica shirt has about being perceived by those same cool kids.

  • chainsaweater

    all i do is talk about devin townsend and hot girls ill never meat, let alone sleep with. NERD ALERT IS BLARING IN MY HEAD NOW

  • Dan-O

    I begin every morning by reading a poem and listening to metal. I also happen to be applying to Graduate schools to study English. I used to play D&D all the time and I have actually gotten into an argument with someone over who is better; Kirk or Picard! Nerd city, bitches!

    By the way, English degrees and metal go so well together. >:)

  • g

    eyal and emil had an awesome track on that ‘guitars that ate my brain’ disc too.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Winnett/504952291 Daniel Winnett

    my name is daniel and i’m a chronic masturbator, otherwise known as ” being male”

  • Shinaain

    I’m going to feel hurt and used if Devin comes back and says, “This was a set-up to get you to reveal yourselves and you’re all pathetic.”

    Related observation: That inundation of porn spam Axl and Vince promised after Eyals’ Kumbayyah thread (http://www.metalsucks.net/2009/08/19/jumping-darkness-parade-daaths-eyal-levi-wants-to-know-who-you-are/) never happened. At least not for me. Did I get left out of something?

  • Kyle Antivenin

    Metal nerd. Star Wars nerd. Toy collector. Vinyl collector. Avid reader of *books*. History nerd. Pop-culture nerd. Trivia nerd.

    Hail nerdz.

    • Kyle Antivenin

      And beardo.

  • WowWee!

    I was trained out of it and was ashamed of my self but now I’m proud to be a Metal loving Nerd to the core.

  • Turia

    Well I guess I am glad to know so many other “metal heads” like me consider themselves nerds. I am no doubt a nerd (with style). What else would you call a chick who’s brain wraps itself around most any (good) music but excitedly orgasms over heavy distorted guitars and fast base drum beats? How else would you refer to s girl who loves horses more than most people, is a closet political junky, LOVES cheesy old Scottish folk music with bagpipes, belly dances, eats mostly veggies, is a tattoo artist and whom is OBSESSED with the drums?

    • badseed357

      you’re not real. you’re a figment of my imagination. you’re like the sirens. or shambala or something. you can’t exist in the same world as jeff dunham and glenn beck. nope.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Turia-Ostling/1396667983 Turia Ostling

        Oh but I do my dear ;-)

        • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

          vile seductress, why must you tempt me so?

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Turia-Ostling/1396667983 Turia Ostling

            “laughs wickedly” .. Because it is fun and because I can.

  • chris

    JAY-Z!!!!!! hell’s yeah

  • therealmetalmatt

    I really like Lord of the Rings (books and movies), Spongebob, and Legend of Zelda (best video game series ever). Those factors make me a nerd but I don’t care, I’m damn proud of it

  • gibberish

    I’m a nerd, and I’m faaaar too lazy to say thirty seven and half reasons why like you guys. And metalmatt’s right, Zelda pretty much wins.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    As if anyone couldn’t tell from my usual Star-Wars-quoting posts, I’m a huge fucking nerd. And I’m goddamn proud. I play RPGs with a group most Tuesday nights (playing World Of Darkness right now… just started last week). I play video games. I read Raymond E. Feist. Ain’t nothing wrong with being a nerd any more.

    Anyway, I’m going to go back to playing Left 4 Dead 2.

    • bradylikesbigbird

      steam acct name?

  • Io

    Yeah… obsessed with metal since I was like 13, books since I was like 7, and video games since I was like five. I love Star Wars (all of them), I have an “Imperial Domination” shirt. Go to the renaissance fair just about every year, and applying to Grad School for Library Science. I’m not much into tabletop RPGs though. I prefer Final Fantasy. To the person above who said Jeff Somers, I think Richard K Morgan does the cyberpunk thing alot better.

    ..luckily I have a girlfriend who is into most of this, though she’s more of a dork than a nerd. She does love everything about you, Devin, and we were both in the video for Wrong Side, but she was too shy to talk to you.

    • Discipleofthewatch

      The Jeff Somers fan would be me. I’ll check this Richard K. Morgan out, then.

  • Deaner

    Drumkit from Hell? I sure hope that’s not a human….

  • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

    there is an easy test to determine if you are a nerd.

    when you discuss your interests with girls, do they look bored? if so, you might be a nerd!
    do you use an excessive amount of meaningless jargon in relation to your hobbies? oh, you’re definitely a nerd.
    in public do people often refer to you as “nerd”, “that nerd”, or “hey nerd, come over here”?
    have you ever masturbated to cartoon pornography? NERD! NERD! NERD!

    girls, by and large, are unable to be nerds by their virtue of being pretty. although there are exceptions such as black metal, female nerdiness is directly proportionate to how attractive they are. while most women of average attractiveness can get away with playing 50 hours of world of warcraft per week and not be nerds, a woman requires a hotness quotient of 8 or higher to be a dungeon master and a 9 or 10 to larp.

    FACT! your nerdiness is directly relative to how able you are to attract the opposite sex!

    playing guitar is nerdy, unless you play guitar for the sole purpose of getting women in which the pretty girl exception applies. however, this is strictly dependent on how many women show up at your shows. if you notice a glaring lack of women in your audience, sadly, your band is nerdy.

    these rules do not apply to gay men. i don’t know why. they just don’t.

    • Jugglemonkey

      I’d like to argue that I’m not nerdy, but I study Physics at uni and I’m learning guitar for the pleasure of doing it…. Bugger.
      By the way, don’t you mean inversely proportional, i.e. the more attractive a woman is, the less nerdy she is? I’m prob splitting hairs…..
      Fuck it, I study PHYSICS, I’m lucky to see a women at all in uni, what the hell would I know?

      • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

        yes, you’re absolutely right. i made the mistake of staying up too late with hp lovecraft last night and now i’m paying the price.

        i don’t know if i’d go so far as to say that you’re “a nerd”. physics is definitely the coolest science that you could be studying. especially if you’re majoring in theoretical physics. those guys slay so much gash.

        i’m sorry. i don’t think i know what i’m talking about right now.

  • Discipleofthewatch

    My ex-husband plays World of Warcraft. A bit excessively. Sometimes I give him a good reason to log off the computer and go out and do something fun, but that wouldn’t be a concert, because he’s not a metalhead. More like dinner and a movie.

  • Erik Bennett

    Full blown nerd here, have dabbled in D&D, work in IT, plays video games the day they come out, and pick up comics every Wed. If you don’t think underground metal is not nerdy, especially progressive metal you are kidding your self. Anyone reading this site is at least a metal nerd, at the very least.

  • hi my name is mark

    I am an IT student and some of my time is spent either playing video games or e-fedding (online wrestling). And of course, spending my life on YouTube.

  • Gallo666

    I do agree, I think a big deal of being a metalhead has to do with the rejection of everything popular or meant for “cool kids”.
    It all starts with music appreciation but it seems that it will eventually expand to other territories such as movies, literature etc.
    It is all a matter of perception, here in costa rica “cool kids” go nuts about going to popular clubs where they won`t let you in unless you dress up in a certain manner, many times you have to queue outside for hours to go into an overcrowded place where beers are three times more expensive than anywhere else!
    For me that isn`t cool, it`s sado-masochistic and brainless and If that`s what you have to do to be “cool” I guess I`d rather be a fucking nerd.
    I would not consider myself a nerd, but it seems that for the public eye, there is little difference between a guy that listen to black metal and another that would watch Lord of the Rings non stop for 17 hours and would feel moved at Frodo and Sam`s profound “frienship”

  • Carbonthief

    Fuck yeah I’m a goddamned nerd. I have seen every single episode of Star Trek TNG, and almost every episode of the original. I own and have seen all 10 seasons of Stargate SG-1, and also all 5 seasons of Atlantis (except I don’t own the last I just have seen it). Not enough space here to get into it (and I’m too lazy) but hell yeah, I do it all: sci-fi, gaming, anime, manga, the more the obscure the better.

  • Cory

    Big Nerd of hurrrr.

    Giant Robots are my thing. Gundam, Mazinger, Getter Robo, you name it, I’ve probably seen at least one episode of it. I’ve got a number of Gundam models in my room back home as well as many Super Robot Wars video games that I have burt onto DVDs and play on a regular basis.

    I mean seriously, who doesn’t dig Giant Robots?

  • Bryan

    Nerds have become somewhat accepted in society now. im 21 currently reading Atlas Shrugged and listening to Mastadon. I love Lord of the rings and the old Star War films. I play rpgs. I like reading on ancient civilizations. I can quote Seinfeld like a mad man. I am Nerd

  • rachel

    We aren’t nerds, we are eclectic! And, I think, for the most part, proud of it!

  • py

    Yet another metalhead nerd here. I work in IT and enjoy technology, gaming, and audio engineering. I know I’m a nerd but hey I got a hot ass wife – so I don’t really need to impress anyone other than her :).

    Really enjoying these posts today Devin. And I can’t fucking stop listening to addicted.

  • Metalguy

    Manga video games anime cartoons books history and random metal trivia. I’m a closet nerd though because I kindof fit in

  • Octillus

    I’m the nerdy kid of every social group I hang out with. I’m the little buddy of what appears to be everybody (Despite being over 5’9. Not tall but come on, little buddy?) and I have moderate success with the opposite sex. I think nerdiness is what you make of it, and whether or not you can communicate on a level with other people. I mean, I’m an extrovert, and I have no problem talking to people about sports and the like.

  • Sin and Death

    Define “nerd.”

  • Hahc Retsam

    Am I? I spend my Friday and Saturday nights sitting in my room practicing the guitar and drums.

  • Captain Wookie

    Huzzah for nerd-dom. Lets be honest, we could guess the nerd factor after you named a song after Bender from Futurama.

    And I’ll be honest, I am huge nerd. Couldn’t say otherwise while keeping a straight face.

  • Nick from hell

    I’m a 30 year old web designer who collects comic books, video games and (horror, cult, sci-fi …) dvds so no … I’m not a nerd at all.

  • GangrenousTesticle

    I watch Doctor Who and QI, and listen to prog metal. Fuck yeah I’m a fucking nerd.

    Metal’s not a “‘cool” thing, or at least it’s not where I’m from, so people who immerse themselves in that culture must at least ignore “coolness”, if not actively reject it. Which I think is more or less what nerdiness is. So yeah, fuck yeah nerds.

  • metalchick666

    i am a science/math/history/piano geek, and fucking PROUD OF IT!!!
    i also listen to classical music too, so that might make me uncool here too…oh well :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brandon-Simmons/502123647 Brandon Simmons

    Its funny to me how everyone assumes I listen to Rap/pop because of the way I dress or because of the video game addiction. Nerds UNITE!

  • Facebook User

    The only way you can avoid being a nerd is to avoid being interested in anything beyond the norm, ever. Failing this, speaking entirely in insults will distract people long enough from your nerdiness for you to run away.

  • http://westofmars.com Susan Helene Gottfried

    Nerds are sexy. I married one. I’m probably more nerd, myself, than I’m willing to admit.

  • http://www.youtube.com/DuncanDonuts3 Benjamin

    I am a nerd. I write computer viruses. I mean I USED to write computer viruses and hacked routers. I even fucked bitches without a condom n shit. Also, I paint and occasionally author poetry.
    Sometimes, I wonder if I shouldn’t give up electric bass and just play Cello , only Bach.
    Bachian Cello while wearing a blue curly wig.

    This may seem random, but LSD. Have you tried it?

  • Falak

    I don’t know a single musician (metal or not) who is worth is salt and isn’t a nerd. You need an active mind to come up with good music, period.