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Br00tal-lists

NOISECREEP, GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT

 Tuesday, December 8th, 2009 at 4:00pm by

slipknotnoisecreep

Our friends at Noisecreep must really enjoy getting yelled at by internet trolls, because now they’ve gone and published a list of the Best Metal Bands of the Decade. Like the other lists they’ve published as of late, this one was compiled by polling “a panel of music insiders,” which included yours truly. Look, ma! I’m an “insider!” You’re gonna make it after alllllll…

Anyways, I voted for four of the ten bands that made the final list, and I realize now that there’s one I didn’t vote for that was a major oversight on my part, so I’m glad they made it on there even without my help. And I think it’s a pretty solid line-up overrall. I suspect that more than a few of you will shit your pants over the inclusion of Slipknot, but I think Slipknot might be one of the most famous metal band of the past ten years that wasn’t already firmly established prior to 2000 (e.g., Slayer, Tool, etc.) and didn’t spend the decade sucking down goat semen (e.g., Metallica, Korn, etc.). By the way, I didn’t vote for Slipknot, I’m just saying I don’t think they deserve all the shit they take. Just some of the shit they take.

But I digress. Read the list here, and then come back and bitch and moan because Yog Sogolgoth (or the so-underground-no-one-knows-who-the-fuck-they-are tr00 kvlt band of your choice) didn’t make the cut.

-AR

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  • tjangles

    I won’t argue about their fame, but “best” doesn’t equal famous, because that would mean the Jonas Brothers are [one of] the best “band” (and i use that word loosely in their case) of the decade. And we all know that is complete horse shit.

  • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

    I didn’t look, but if Limp Bizkit didn’t top the list I’ll have a difficult time taking it seriously.

  • I’m not racst, but I hate Oceano

    Actually pretty decent and I’m glad that High on Fire made the list, those guys are overlooked in a lot of lists.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Keith-Brown/537636633 Keith Brown

      1

  • msv81

    Let’s hear it…..where’s all the bitching about how terrible Slipknot is? I can’t wait.

    Slipknot fucking rocks. There. I said it.

    Tool, however, should be #1.

  • http://DAMNIT Tim-o-tato

    NO GOJIRA?!?!!? FUCK THIS….

  • Meemperor

    Well they got #1 right for sure.

    • gibberish

      completely, fully, 100% agreed

  • mikeyP

    Amon Amarth? Seriously? That band is ballsack. Where the fuck is Meshuggah? Satyricon? Enslaved? DEP?

    • Gabe

      i agree, amon amarth isnt bad, but it shouldnt be on this list.

      swap it with Meshuggah. i think the rest of the list is at least understandable and shouldnt start riots.

      fantastic choice for #1

  • metalguy

    wow didnt expect high on fire but i too thought the most hyped up band ever (A.K.A gojira) would make the list

    • Spanky

      Ha me too, im so sick of Gojira

      • Trux

        and I thought I was alone…

        Enough of Gojira already…..

  • http://schenkeltown.blogspot.com SchenkelTown

    i still love korn

  • Kye

    For once I pretty much completely agree with a list.

    • Tanner

      I second that.

  • fritz

    hell yes Opeth is definitely the best metal band of the decade! Glad to see Mastodon and LoG on there as well

    • http://verbalspace.blogspot.com verbal space

      am i the only one who thinks LoG is overrated? just cant get into them.

      • Daddy’s Little Fartbox

        You’re not alone, no.

  • http://www.flamingtusk.com Zosimus

    Meh, Opeth is too safe a choice, really, for number 1. Mostly, though, I feel Noisecreep did a good job balancing those who deserve recognition with those who’ve earned it (wherein “deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it”).

  • evilfatguy

    I’m not gonna argue anything, but I think BTBAM deserves a mention on that list, at least over Converge, for putting out four groundbreaking albums in six years.

    • Myopinionisbetterthenyours

      I was about to say the same thing.

    • Marc

      Converge had also put out 4 groundbreaking records this decade. Jane Doe was a game changer. nothing in Btbam’s discography comes close.

      • James

        colors? no?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kasper-Maigaard/1027001938 Kasper Maigaard

    Opeth. Wtf.
    How come none of the thrash-revival bands made it? Like Toxic Holocaust or… I don’t know…. MUNICIPAL WASTE or SKELETONWITCH?
    They’re not famous enough that’s why.

    • jason

      Please refrain from throwing Skeletonwitch in with those re-thrash costume party jackoffs. Thank you for your consideration.

      • DeathMasqueRed

        Sorry, but Skeletonwitch definitely belongs in the same category as Toxic Holocaust and Municipal Waste. They definitely have their own sound, but it’s rooted in thrash.

        And to Kasper, yeah, you’re probably right in that they’re not popular enough.

        • jason

          I disagree. Skeletonwitch is the real deal, not a bunch of guys playing dress up. Toxic Holocaust isn’t even a real band and MW is 99% schtick. I’m not making any statements on their musicianship, just the authenticity or lack thereof.

          • Facebook User

            Completely agree with jason. I’m a “metalhead” from Richmond where it’s blasphemy to speak ill of Municipal Waste. But, when it comes down to it, they fucking suck, don’t excite me at all, and are only routed in their “throwback thrash-punk-metal image.” Great. Plus, there are at least 1000 metal bands I would want to get drunk and party to before MP.

  • Bicro

    I can take Opeth as a no. 1. They deserve it after all of their work and supremely crafted albums.

    Pig Destroyer, however, should be at least no. 2.

  • Benito

    glad to see the mighty O on top. that said, where the fuck are Gojira, BTBAM, meshuggah? fuck I even expected BDM to be on there.

    • SonOF

      Gojira have only been around for like 4 years. Since it’s “best bands of the decade” I think some longevity is necessary.

      • Benito

        uhh terra incognita came out in like 2001. they’ve been around for close to a decade.

  • Nick from hell

    How dare you disrespect the great Yog Sogolgoth!

  • FuckYourGayEmoHaircut

    ya hear that…?
    that’s Ziltoid angrily banging out a response on his keyboard.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-Tievsky/697373980 Daniel Tievsky

    No way. I was reading down the list thinking “Where the fuck is Opeth? Pff, I bet they don’t even know who they are”. And to see them at #1? Quite a pleasant surprise.

  • Dimebag6sic6

    hell yes i like this list SIMPLY because Opeth is #1. fucking awesome band

  • rachel

    OPETH FTW!!! I was getting nervous as I first scrolled down the page, and the thought of Opeth not being on the list would have sucked. But I was glad I read the whole page. I know they haven’t totally set the metal scene on fire for the whole decade, but Cynic would have been a good one to see. Traced in Air has some amazing musical ideas.

    • Benito

      ay ay

  • Ian

    Excellent list, however, TOOL should be #1, Opeth #2, Lamb of God #3, and Mesuggah should be on that list. Children of Bodom should be on the list as well.

  • http://www.noisecreep.com Jay

    People still complain about lists (partially) based on others’ opinion? And on the internet, too?

  • SonOF

    Opeth topped the list, so the list can’t be all bad.

    On a side note, High On Fire are so goddamn overrated. It’s strange because only a small portion of the metal community actually care about this band, and the rest wouldn’t really mind if H.O.F disappeared from the planet. But this small portion I mentioned not only care about High on Fire, they think they are LIKE THE BEST FUCKING BAND EVER TO WALK THE PLANET, OMG THEY DON’T GET THE CREDIT THEY DESERVE FOR REVOLUTIONIZING METAL….*JIZZ!*

  • Kuranes

    That’s a good list. I’m not sold on Converge yet, but I seem to be in the minority. I think a good video mashup would be Converge playing one of their songs interspersed with clips of the Tasmanian Devil spinning around and making that noise he makes. I think they would sound pretty much the same.

    Opeth are the best band of the decade. Fucking period.

    • Lady Death

      I’m also in that minority. I can’t even begin to hear the music in that. And how dare you bring down Taz like that! His grunts and howls exhibit structure and rhythm far above that of Converge!

  • bucketochicken

    Yog Sogolgoth never makes the cut.

    Fuckers.

    • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

      They’re a bunch of filthy hipsters anyway

      • bucketochicken

        Nah, they’re too frosty & grim. Still heroin-hipster skinny, but it’s more from the grimness than from a diet of coffee, Pabst, American Spirits, and tofu.

        • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

          Are you kidding? I saw their bassist go into a Caribou Coffee the other day with his laptop. I didn’t immediately recognize him because he wasn’t wearing his corpsepaint, but then I heard him gripe about how he always gets mixed out of the songs and I knew it was him. He ordered one of those pansy drinks and sat with an Asian guy talking about indie rock and the best places to buy flannel.

  • Kazz

    They made the right choice at number 1, Opeth is simply the best. Not a bad list at all imo.

  • Sin and Death

    10. High on Fire

    I can’t figure out what’s so great about High on Fire. Maybe I’m just not high (enough) on fire to enjoy High on Fire. ( Lame pun for a lame band.)

    9. Amon Amarth

    I enjoy Viking metal as much as the next guy, but I consider these Swedes too one-dimensional to be on a top-ten of the decade list.

    8. Lamb of God

    Randy Blythe’s vocals undo all of the hard work put in by his band-mates.

    7. Pig Destroyer

    Who?

    6. Tool

    Probably deserves to be in the top 3, if not holding the number one spot.

    5. Behemoth

    ‘Evangelion’ shows a talented band hitting its stride.

    4. Slipknot

    I enjoy Slipknot’s studio material, but they suck live. If Slipknot ever figures out how to play their material live, I’ll be fully sold on them. Until then, they have work to do.

    3. Mastodon

    I flip-flop on Mastodon; sometimes I think they’re amazing, other times, not so much.

    2. Converge

    Not into Converge. Not diggin’ the Converge.

    1. Opeth

    Watershed isn’t that great, but hey, everything else this decade has been the shit. Three cheers for Åkerfeldt!

    (I know this is a lazy write-up for the list, but I just need a break from writing critical interpretation essays and the like. Besides, lists are too subjective. My tastes change throughout the week, so trying to evaluate an entire decade’s worth of amazing music is nigh impossible. Can’t we just all agree that there have been some great efforts put forth by metal musicians this decade, and let that be that?)

  • Cris

    It’s not such a bad list, Mastodon and Opeth should be #1 and #2 respectively in my opinion, don’t really see a band that has done more for metal than these two this decade. Definitely think Enslaved deserves to be on this list as well, especially since the Black Metal revival played such a large part in the metal landscape in the last couple of years.

  • prives

    What about DevilDriver, you fucking fucks?

    Best fucking band of the new millenium!

    PS: Converge sucks balls.

    • justin

      devildriver? that band is awful.

    • jason

      That might be the most ridiculous statement in this entire post. If you have to go out in the rain, please keep your mouth closed so you don’t drown.

      • prives

        Are you two kidding? Do you listen to metal? Or is DD not obscure enough, not underground enough for you elitist fucks?

        Eat a dick.

        • jason

          Neither…they just aren’t very good.

          • prives

            Well, that’s your opinion. But luckily for me, you’re a fucking nobody, so your opinion is worthless.

            Enjoy your Sogolgoth. Bye Bye!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Troy-Rickard/1516566408 Troy Rickard

    Not on the “of the decade” topic so much, but: I can’t recall seeing in any of these lists of ’09 a mention of Insomnium anywhere. Why the fuck not? Nor even a review on this site?

  • alex nouaux

    i pretty much agree with the list, and as i was reading the comments (and i can help but agreeing with them), i think Gojira, BTBAM, and Enslaved should have made the cut but oh well. Good to see HOF, and Amon Amarth on there too. and ya, OPETH RULES

  • skepticsteve

    so sick of the ‘not trendy therefore its cool’ bands… tool are fukn terrible and obviously hate being tagged metal so theyshould not even have the privilege of being listed. lets talk about the bands that want to be, and are fukn proudof, being metal….

    • skepticsteve

      btw killswitch might have a terrible new album, but you cant dent the massive eft on the 2000′s

  • Jizzmaster3000

    At least there isn’t any deathcore shit-slam on there.

  • Chimp-O-Neg

    Theyre all big bands and I like a lot of it. Fuck it – it’s alright. I’ve not blown my load over it, or burst a blood vessel.

    It’s
    a
    list
    of
    bands.

  • J-Mack

    I think slipknot deserves it, They worked hard. And they’re music is pretty solid, Not the best metal band out there but surely a huge influence. Thank Odin for the Big O though. Fuck yeah \m/

  • DustintheWind

    I was actually stoked to see Amon Amarth on there, thought the list was pretty solid