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Black Metal Brunch

BLACK METAL BRUNCH: DARK FUNERAL, “MY FUNERAL”

Sunday, July 25th, 2010 at 11:08am by

Emperors Magus Caligulas is leavings Darks Funerals. Bummers. This mornings, Is burns the french toasts ins his honors. Burns it blacks. BLACKS, IS SAYS!!!

Donts looks ats me. Is nots cryings. Fucks yous ins the assholes withs the cocks froms hells.

-NC

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  • MoshUntilPanic

    god the s at the end of words really gets old quickly

    • MeetLove

      Ummm, Recently, I found an interracial dating site called
      ______ black white mingle // c o m ______
      Nothing can stop falling in love. it is a d ating service for b lack and w hite people to f ind their true love.maybe you will like it.S i g n u p for free and find your g irl or guy.

  • Dwarfskeet

    I thought the same thing for a while. But I’m not gonna lie, Nocturno Cultowitz has made me giggle every time I read these. So good job.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Greg-Kennelty/100000324595253 Greg Kennelty

    It makes me laugh every time, and if the s’s annoy everyone so much, just ignore them. Or don’t read it at all. Or stop bitching.

  • Cladgemeister

    What is the reason the s’s are there in the first place? Am I missing something? :S

    • MeesterDerp

      I think it’s a Skwisgaar reference.

      • Dwarfskeet

        Indeedily.

        • Cladgemeister

          Ah, well, Black Metal ain’t really my thang, but thanks for clearing it up.

          • Cladgemeister

            Oh, wait now I look stupid, it’s from metalacolypse. Which I haven’t seen :|

          • Dwarfskeet

            Well then, you MUST watch an episode or two. I’m sure you could find at least one somewhere online.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sean-Wright/1365416981 Sean Wright

    Dork Funeral is one of the more boring Black Metal bands out there. They haven’t gotten the clue that they haven’t written anything decent since “The Secrets Of the Black Arts”.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kyle-Heider/602520830 Kyle Heider

      Disagree. Their new album fucking slays. But I will concede that they’re one of those bands that like to get comfortable in their little niche and not move from that warm place their ENTIRE career. Every time I hear they’re putting out a new album, I wonder just how many more songs about satan they can conjure up. They havn’t really progessed as much as they’ve just perfected what it is they do. Granted, “what it is they do” appeals to a very niche crowd, but I’m sure those fans are happy.

      Also, thank god Caligula’s peacing. His vocals have been going downhill for a while =/

    • kmfcm

      seriously

      why do they keep rewriting Diabolus Interim and releasing it with the same cover and even less memorable/pronounceable Latin title?

      Diabolus Interim was not that good.

      Celeste play this song about 100 times better.

      Dark Funeral should pack it in.

  • Death to bro metal

    It’s refreshing to hear about a member of a black metal leaving the scene by getting married and not the same ol’ routine of people committing suicide or going to jail. Good for him!!!!

    • Dubs

      BOOOOOO!!!!! NOT KVLT ENOVGH!

    • kmfcm

      getting married IS suicide

  • pigchop

    Dude did not spin his drumstick fast enough, so…it all sucks.

  • blackwhitemingle

    Ummm, Recently, I found an interracial dating site called
    ______ black white mingle //c o m ______
    Nothing can stop falling in love. it is a d ating service for b lack and w hite people to f ind their true love.maybe you will like it.S i g n u p for free and find your g irl or guy.

    • Vlygar

      Interracialcore

      • Sonsteprbe

        So much win

  • Dubs

    Lol, I double clicked the link (to get to youtube) and forgot to pause it. The whole time I was like “WTF is wrong with the production? Oh well I guess since they’re Black Metal they wanted it to be more atmospheric.”

  • str8ev

    dear black metal dudes,
    badly photocopied high contrast black and white photos of you in corpsepaint : sort of scary 15 years ago. looking and dressing like professional wrestlers : not scary ever.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Duna-Salous/527287686 Duna Salous

    lol. I’m not a fan of Dark Funeral to be honest. I like my black metal under-produced and with lotsa’ distortion . . but, I must say, I like the disclaimer in the begining of the video. Personally, I didn’t see it too graphic at all.

  • thelump

    I believe this song was posted on this very site when it came out…

    http://www.metalsucks.net/2009/10/05/this-video-does-not-glamorize-or-in-any-other-way-other-way-glorify-or-promote-death-suicide-or-violence/

    yeah, and you say that you guys get pissed when we dont use the search bar thing

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Will-Morley/618112437 Will Morley

    I don’t think Dark Funeral are boring at all, I just think they’ve found something that they do incredibly well and are sticking with it. Not EVERY band needs to push the envelope.