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Metal in the Media

LADY GAGA DANCES (BADLY) TO METALLICA’S “METAL MILITIA”

 Tuesday, August 10th, 2010 at 3:20pm by

A very intelligent friend of mine tells me I’m wrong to write off Lady Gaga as the latest pop culture idiot I don’t really need to pay attention to; she “has a vision,” he tells me, and even if I don’t like that vision, he asserts, I have to respect it. And pretty much every metal girl I’m friends with went to her show at Madison Square Garden last month.

But I hate the Lady Gaga songs I’ve heard, and when I saw her on Saturday Night Live, she clearly hadn’t tested her ostentatious costume before the show, because it turned out to be so unwieldy that not only did she keep hitting herself in the head with the damn thing, but she couldn’t sit down at the piano to perform. And to me, when your costume is such a pain in the ass that you can’t do your job properly, guess what? Your “vision” values style over substance, and doesn’t deserve my respect.

And this video, of her dancing to “Metal Militia” at Lollapalooza this past weekend, doesn’t do much to change my mind. I’m sure someone will argue that I’m just being pissy because a non-metal person is using metal, but that’s not my beef at all — in fact, I don’t even think I’m being pissy so much as I’m just wondering aloud what the big deal is about Lady Gaga. This dance was clearly choreographed, but has all the skill and complexity of something staged for a grade school talent show. Strippers dance better than this, y’know?

Anyways, skip to the 1:30 mark if you’re curious.

-AR

Thanks to Javy M. for sending this in.

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  • foobear

    I don’t get the hype either. When Poker Face was all the rage I lost probably 5 years off my life with irritation I felt from every idiot who said things like, “Poker Face is brilliant. She uses innuendo to talk about her sex life, it’s such amazing songwriting.”

    Really? Have you never heard a single song by Van Halen, or any of the other millions of songs by any other millions of bands in the history of ever that use clever language, including innuendo, to convey a point?

    Ah crap, there goes another year!

    • Darnel0tron

      squeeze my lemon til the juice runs down my leg – Led Zeppelin

      • Killer Kovarik

        I was just gonna say Led Zeppelin have a lot of songs like that

  • Matt

    My wench was telling me about this, expecting me to care.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Verdugo/1128951014 Ian Verdugo

      I bet you were all like, “STFu and get me Ale!”

  • cougar party

    “Lady” Gaga is a cross-dressing man. Prove me wrong.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ben-Robson/1375985482 Ben Robson

      james hetfield is a post-op transsexual. prove me wrong.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Verdugo/1128951014 Ian Verdugo

      This has been proven wrong forever ago…. I bet you’re still waiting for Obama’s birth cert. too?

      • cougar party

        I bet your still waiting for your sense of humor to develop.

        • stu1

          This has nothing to do with the lack of a sense of humor. Making a “joke” that was “funny” a year ago, isn’t really funny.

          • Some Random Dude

            yeah huh.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Verdugo/1128951014 Ian Verdugo

          Oh, yea, that wasn’t funny. You lose, try again.

          • cougar party

            Are you Lady Gaga’s sister or something? Because it’s interesting that you feel compelled to defend every negative comment on this thread.

            Also, I’ve seen pictures of her moose knuckle that looks like she’s got a salami strapped to her taint.

            Nice “feet” picture, by the way. My 12 year old niece has the same picture on her myspace profile. Very cute.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Verdugo/1128951014 Ian Verdugo

            Nope just a fan, bored at work… Fun to fan the flames… Glad you like my pic that was me chillin hard in the Carribean.

  • Dwarfskeet

    I don’t get it? They didn’t dance? But then again, I only made it a minute into the “dance.”

  • DemonicLemming

    Lady Gaga’s costumes are only overdone and ostentatious because she’s so ugly, a drunk warthog wouldn’t hit it as a 10-year slumpbuster. There’s nothing particularly intelligent, inspiring, or brilliant about her music, either – she’s pretty much like Kesha, just with less whiskey and more “The fuck were you smoking?” costumes.

    The fact that people think Gaga’s music is “intelligent” just shows how low the average person’s intelligence has sunk to. Sure it looks intelligent when everyone else is functionally retarded.

    • Darnel0tron

      agreed.

    • Vinsanity

      hahaha ya this bitch is completely useless like much of society. fail

  • OldandTired

    Not curious…at all.

  • Genial Gentile

    Her songs seem to have more artistic merit than most of the pop music from the last decade. That’s not saying much as she’s is almost certainly the product of a team of professional songwriters and A&R gurus, but it’s been a long time since there has been a visionary of a singular vision in pop music. I think Prince was probably one of the last pop recording artists to take stake in his own artistic integrity. Can anyone think of a more recent example?

    • vagina

      see I don’t really see that. I have heard her songs, they are no more or less “artistic” than a lot of other pop shit. I just think she does enough weird stuff outside of the music that people either don’t understand or are too lazy to try to understand so they label her a “visionary”

      And it’s TOTALLY style over substance.. which may work when you’re Tarantino making films, but I guess not when you’re Lady Gaga making music.

      • Genial Gentile

        Well, you may be right. I do find it interesting however that someone as abjectly unattractive as she is has garnered this level of popularity in a market historically dominated by jailbait. It would seem to suggest that even casual music fans today want something more from pop music…even if that “something” is just a little window dressing.

        • DemonicLemming

          That’s because she hides behind her costumes. If she didn’t play Barbie-on-acid dressup at every concert, she’d have a lot less fans.

          • stu1

            It’s not like people don’t know what she looks like.

          • Genial Gentile

            I think that kind of speaks to my original point in that if the songs weren’t well crafted enough to at least be catchy to begin with, the dress-up schtick would have fallen flat a long time ago.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Verdugo/1128951014 Ian Verdugo

            It’s part of her entertainment package… If John Carpenter’s The Thing didn’t have badass special effects it would have been cheezy and not scary… Your argument is really stupid… That’s like saying if a shark had less teeth it wouldn’t kill as much. So I suppose everyone should only play unplugged… Abbath should not wear corpse paint? So he won’t have as many fans. STFU…

          • DemonicLemming

            I don’t think most people would recognize Lady Gaga as herself without the costume. She looks absolutely nothing like her stage personality without her trade makeup and costumes – she looks like a really ugly Jewish guy without it. People like Gaga because she’s different, and assume that difference is brilliance and talent when it’s not.

            And Ian, for the record, I think corpse paint is as gay as ICP Juggalo face paint. Your analogies are juvenile at best.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Verdugo/1128951014 Ian Verdugo

            Well that’s, like, your opinion man.

    • stu1

      Actually, she’s the primary songwriter. She has some other people she works with, but pretty much everything starts with her.

      • Fufkin

        New York, Paris, London, Munich – everybody’s taking about pop music.
        And at least she writes hers.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Josh-Cook/661500144 Josh Cook

    Hahahahaha I felt awkward watching that part!!!!!! Bah she sucks, Mike Patton can do her song better then herself. Lame!!!!!!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Verdugo/1128951014 Ian Verdugo

      Nah, Patton sucks, Gaga is wayyyyy better than that douche.

  • Gecko

    Ugh, I still don’t get the big deal behind this chick (using the term loosely), in the slightest. She’s not interesting, not talented, and her attempts at being shocking are boring at best. I get it. You have a team of designers at your disposal, and make every effort to look like you were dressed by Helen Keller and a drunk astronaut. Yay for you. She doesn’t have a vision or merit, but since she’s more hyper-sexual than most of her younger pop counterparts, everyone thinks she’s amazing. I don’t know what the hell I just watched, but I’m fairly certain that hairspray-flamethrowers were done by the time I was 14. Whatever dude.

  • thelump

    Love how they cut the music off when the vocals start, as to not upset the crowd

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andrew-Sterner/1335958279 Andrew Sterner

    Someone said loose and I laughed…guess that makes me a bad person.

    Anywho that wasn’t dancing, that was 2 Sorority girls about 3 cases into what looked like a fun night…in front of however many people lollapalooza gets.

    If anyone wants to show me how that is a dance more than it is drunken college girls, please do.

    As far as Gaga goes….Pop’s been dead for some time now, so yeah.

  • xynobia

    Chiming in as a Lady Gaga fan…I think her music has redeeming qualities, both compared to other pop music from the decade, and on its own merit. That being said, this ‘dance’ is embarrassing for everyone involved. You don’t choreograph a dance to Metallica; you headbang and play fucking air guitar. “Whiplash”, anybody?

  • Polska

    That was lame, but I’m still a fan.
    And it seems like I’m the only one here. I won’t bother defending her, but if you don’t like her, then I’m curious as to what you guys would consider good pop music that’s current.

    • DemonicLemming

      There is no good pop music. Really.

    • stu1

      I’m with you. But people were crack on her here for not being talented, not being shocking, being boring, etc, but will then go listen to 9 hours of death metal.

      • http://deathmetalbaboon.com/ byrd36

        Surely you don’t suggest that there isn’t talent in death metal, some of the most skilled metal musicians ever are death metallers.

        • stu1

          Surely you’re not suggesting that the genre is “fresh” or that Gaga isn’t “talented.”

          • http://deathmetalbaboon.com/ byrd36

            Lady Ga-Ga is great at what she does and pop music needed someone like her and if she’s writing her own songs that’s even better for her, but it still can’t be compared to the technical skills involved in death metal, which yes has some fresh elements, though I don’t listen to music because it’s ‘fresh’ or not.

    • SatansSpit

      I heard the new Limp Bizkit album has guitar solos!

      • The Greys

        You totally dodged byrd36′s question, Stu. You’ll notice byrd didn’t say anything about Lady Ga-Ga; he just took you to task for your shot at death metal. Why didn’t you answer the question instead of trying to deflect it?

  • iolanach

    Goddammit, let’s talk about the important things! How fucking good is Metal Militia? That fucking song was written almost 30 years ago and it still rules.

    Oh Metallica, i want to hate you, but i just can’t.

    • Sickboy666

      Right on, dude.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Verdugo/1128951014 Ian Verdugo

    As expected Gaga haters unite… Whatevs, I love Lady Gaga as much as I love Richard Christy or Vintersorg, if that makes me un-metal then so be it…. Granted the dance was awkward, but whatever, I bet every band ever has some awkward and lame stage thing they’ve done before, so sue them. Besides she is very familiar with Metal Militia, better that than say Air Supply?

    • http://deadpigeonproductions.com/ PaulterA

      How is she “very familiar with Metal Militia”? That dance looked like she heard the song for the first time 15 minutes before.

      • stu1

        I’d be shocked if she wasn’t familiar with it. She’s got punk roots, so knowing this wouldn’t be the least bit surprising.

        • zen dudeist

          What?

        • 10000 Gays

          no, she doesn’t

          • stu1

            Umm yeah, she does.

    • DemonicLemming

      “Whatevs” pretty much eliminates any and all credibility your argument could have had.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Verdugo/1128951014 Ian Verdugo

        Good to know.

  • http://www.jaydinitto.com Jay

    So painful to watch, even more than hearing her gabby buildup to it.

  • Jack

    Man, she’s awful. Your average pop bans, who is even sluttier than others.

  • Nick

    No matter what anyones opinion of her here is she is making millions cause she is smart. I don’t care how generic or crappy the people on here think she is, because there are millions that think the opposite. And no matter how you look at it taste in music is just an opinion and when there are millions and millions of people whos opinion is that that lady gaga is a good musician than she is the one getting the last laugh, not the metal boy here who is saying how much she sucks on a website msg board. I don’t see anything special about her, but obviously she is doing something right. I give her props for her success.

    • Shanx!

      If your going to make this “more profit = better, more talented musician” argument, you’d probably have better luck on a website that isn’t about metal bands.

  • http://deadpigeonproductions.com/ PaulterA

    I actually hate Lady Gaga even more now and what was with the stupid hairspray flame thing? The whole audience acted like it was the best pyrotechnic they’d ever seen.

  • Rik

    Lady Gaga is terrible. It’s just the same pop crap as usual, just even more annoying.

  • David

    Gaga is more David Bowie, than Madge or Prince, too me.

    I gave her music a shot. Nothing much there of any substance to grab onto. That will most likely be her biggest problem in the long run. To transition from flavor-of-the-month to real artist, she’s gonna have to write some damn good music.

    Pop isn’t really that much different from metal in that 90% of the stuff out there is complete garbage/recycled dreck. Apply that to any genre today, actually.

    Too many bands/artists, Too much drivel, not enough quality.

    • nick

      Nonsense. There is an astonishing amount of great music to listen today if you just look for it. Far more than there ever was simply because there are so many more bands out there. We can look back at the early ’70′s through our classic rock radio prism but they’re only playing the few bands that were worth a damn.

  • Jonathan

    The only good thing that came out of this lady is the Bleed-a-Razi mashup that one guy did with her lyrics over Meshuggah’s Bleed.

  • SP420

    I’m surprised no one’s mentioned any of the Lady Gaga/Illuminati symbolism/connection articles written over at VigilantCitizen. Granted they’re all just speculation, but it’s all really well-thought out and thorough speculation that a skeptic would be hard-pressed to counter how it’s NOT what it seems. I don’t really buy into any of that crap seriously but they were an intriguing read. Pop videos in general aren’t just flashy and “chic” for the sake of it; there are definitely more talented people than Lady Gaga behind the scenes. I’m sure Jonas Akerlund has at least something to do with some of the occult symbolisms.

    • nick

      They may toss in a few symbols to add a taste of mystery and intrigue but lets be serious, she’s not Tool. She hasn’t a clue about Crowley. Her music doesn’t convey any sense of understanding beyond her own ego.

  • Some Random Dude

    The only thing it takes to be successful in pop is marketability.

    • Some Random Dude

      well that’s true for all genres, but you should get my point.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mikey-Ck-Vanderven/502827008 Mikey Ck Vanderven

    looks like someones been paying attention to the booty dancing metal videos

  • OliFant

    Actually, she kind of reminds me of Marilyn Manson : great visuals, big shock value and meh music (at least from “Mechanical Animals” on).

    The difference is Manson had something to say.

    • kmfcm

      if you see her withough makeup/photoshop, she actually looks like Manson

      • 10000 Gays

        her greatest asset is her PR and makeup team that do an amazing job making her not look like herself

  • kmfcm

    Yeah, friends of mine who I’d consider intelligent have caught the gaga-virus too.

    People disappoint you every day if you give them credit.

  • cyrollan

    Gaga is good. I don’t know how else to explain how her music appeals to a guy who loves Nile, Deicide, etc. She took a shit genre and crafted some good art. If anyone REALLY wants to give her a shot, check out Paper Gangsta.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Verdugo/1128951014 Ian Verdugo

      I agree, there is something that she is doing right… I’m finding myself happily switching a Behemoth Disc into The Fame, then back to a Misery Index disc…. Really weird.

  • HokiePokie

    I like Lady Gaga, but she has no originality whatsoever and she loves Hair Metal.

  • Wardo

    i waste my time watching this crap…

  • metalhead0001

    no matter what she does, how she dresses, what tricks she pulls on stage… she will NEVER EVER be metal… she is a complete opposite of it…