Hipsters Out Of Metal!

BRUISE CRUISE: CORONER IS TONS OF FUN AT 70,000 TONS OF METAL

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On Tuesday I caught the movie Titanic‘s big-money scene on TV. As the liner upends and descends into frigid waters, people are shown plummeting as from a skyscraper, doinking off the ship’s protrusions and cartwheeling into the abyss. In their place, I’d be like, “Aw man. Why ever did I board on this boner-biting boat? What a rip-off! All it took was one wrong turn and now I’m floating in my pajamas with a frozen toddler under each arm. Fuck! Room service!!”

That’s a raw deal, right? But that was 1912. Here in 2012, I could be lured onto a raft made of egg shells and spaghetti by awesome Swiss thrashers Coroner. Check out their wrap video of the recent 70,000 Tons Of Metal cruise (above); what a blast! And if disaster befell us, I’d be contentedly banging with the band til we were all gurgling and doggy-paddling for shore. For sure!

–ADF

Party with Coroner on dry land at April’s Roadburn Festival in Holland among Voivod, Killing Joke, and Hammers Of Misfortune (info here) and in August at Germany’s Wacken Open Air with Warbringer, Testament, and Sanctuary (info here).

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