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50 Things You Never Knew About George “Corpsegrinder” Fisher’s Neck

Photo Credit: Nathaniel C. Shannon for MetalSucks
Photo Credit: Nathaniel C. Shannon for MetalSucks

1) When Corpsegrinder wakes up in the morning, Corpsegrinder’s neck has already made him breakfast in bed.

2) When Cannibal Corpse go out for dinner, Corpsegrinder’s neck orders its own entree.

3) Corpsegrinder’s neck is buying Century Media.

4) Corpsegrinder’s neck has its own bank account in Switzerland.

5) Corpsegrinder’s neck doesn’t drink beer often, but when it does, it drinks Bud Lite.

6) Corpsegrinder’s neck can travel faster than the speed of light.

7) Corpsegrinder’s neck can strangle you with a cordless phone.

8) Corpsegrinder’s neck reads fairytales to Corpsegrinder before bed each night.

9) Corpsegrinder’s neck single-handedly defeated Nergal’s leukemia.

10) Corpsegrinder’s neck beat Corpsegrinder at rock, paper, scissors.

11) Corpsegrinder’s neck can slam a revolving door.

12) When Corpsegrinder’s neck goes to Chipotle, it orders a burrito bowl with tofu.

13) Corpsegrinder’s neck has its own roadies.

14) Corpsegrinder’s neck is responsible for causing global warming.

15) Corpsegrinder’s neck counted to infinity — twice.

16) Corpsegrinder’s neck just bought its own iPhone 6+.

17) Corpsegrinder’s neck can do one-handed pushups with no hands.

18) Corpsegrinder’s neck drinks bourbon for breakfast.

19) Corpsegringer’s neck has its own rider.

20) The new USAF stealth bomber is made from the same durable material as Corpsegrinder’s neck.

21) Since Corpsegrinder’s neck is everywhere at once it doesn’t need to travel.

22) If Corpsegrinder’s neck broke the sound barrier it would end humanity.

23) Even Chuck Norris has nightmares about Corpsegrinder’s neck.

24) Corpsegrinder’s neck is on loan as a missile defense system for North America.

25) Corpsegrinder’s neck is both the Alpha and Omega.

26) Corpsegrinder’s neck has it’s own gravitational pull.

27) Corpsegrinder’s neck is the future of “renewable energy.”

28) Corpsegrinder’s neck can travel faster than the speed of light.

29) The only thing that Corpsegrinder’s neck fears is a salad bar.

30) Kids look under their beds at night for Corpsegrinder’s neck.

31) Corpsegrinder’s neck understands what happened at the end of Interstellar.

32) Corpsegrinder’s neck was once engaged to Hannah Davis.

33) Corpsegrinder’s neck teaches a graduate course in finance at the Wharton School of Business every fall.

34) Corpsegrinder’s neck faked the moon landing.

35) Corpsegrinder’s neck was deemed too hostile an environment to be used for an episode of Man Vs. Wild.

36) The only thing Kanye West admires more than Beyoncé is Corpsegrinder’s neck.

37) When asked by the DNC to run for President, Corpsegrinder’s neck replied, “I don’t run for anything.”

38) Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Corpsegrinder’s neck knows.

39) The Lost City of Atlantis is located in Corpsegrinder’s neck.

40) Corpsegrinder’s neck could have made the world in six days.

41) A Navy SEAL broke his hands trying to break Corpsegrinder’s neck.

42) When viewed at just the right angle at the exact right time of day, Corpsegrinder’s neck shows the location of The Lost Ark of the Covenant.

43) Corpsegrinder’s neck ghost-wrote The Corrections.

44) Corpsegrinder’s neck can’t get cancer, cancer gets Corpsegrinder’s neck.

45) Corpsegrinder’s neck is Keyser Söze.

46) Anacondas cannot stretch their mouths wide enough to devour Corpsegrinder’s neck.

47) Corpsegrinder’s neck cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.

48) Although many have tried, only Thor can lift Corpsegrinder’s neck.

49) Corpsegrinder’s neck knows what happened to Jimmy Hoffa.

50) Corpsegrinder’s neck died for our sins.

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