Green Eggs and Slam

Controversial opinion: EMMURE are sellouts and ‘SLAVE 2 THA GAEM’ is not even hardcore!

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I’m just going to come right out and say it: EMMURE have lost me as a fan :( Before you write me off as just another butthurt hater, hear me out. Trust me, I really WANTED to like this album! I spent the last two weeks mashing F5 on all my favorite deathcore download blogs, waiting with baited breath for the leak I knew would eventually get posted to some Russian 9th grader’s Blogspot with a lulzy name like DA SICKNEST DEATH AND CORES. I was prepared to wade through the broken English and links to dodgy spyware-laden filesharing sites, because I was a man on a mission: I had to have SLAVE 2 THA GAEM on day one!!

I watched this trailer like 10 times in a row and I was like ‘fuck my asshole that bounce riff goes so hard and it even starts with a BLEH! This album is going 2 be so fucking sick!!!!’

But once I actually copped the album, I was in for a rude awakening: ‘SLAVE 2 THA GAEM” is one of the most transparent, calculated attempts to ‘go mnstrm’ I’ve ever heard (and I have been listening to hardcore for 3+ years). The main problem I have with this album is that at least 30-50% of the riffs are melodic, which makes no sense to me because why would someone listen to EMMURE to hear melody?! Yah there are some breakdowns here and there but they feel like an afterthought. I hate 2 say this but it feels like a completely different band than the one I loved when I was a little kid; it’s like I don’t even know them anymore :(

lol @ how entry-level the games in this video are :( Galaga, Defender and Millipede?? Are u cereal?? So played out… come at me with some advanced-level steez like Forgotten Worlds, Black Tiger or D&D: Shadow Of Mystara if u want to impress me with your retrogaming credentials #CPS1

They have completely lost sight of their roots, kind of like when all the original 1970s hardcore bands like CRO-MAGS and SUISIDAL TENDENCIES changed their style to thrash metal, grew long hair and released a bunch of really crappy albums that nobody liked. IMO they should stop calling themselves a hardcore band because it is obvious that they are trying to ‘break into the metal market’ or in other words SELLING OUT! Normally I do not get involved with politics but I am seriasly considering starting a Tumblr petition to make people stop referring to them as a hardcore band. I hope it doesn’t come to that but I will do it if my back is against the wall!!

The merch for SLAVE 2 THA GAEM is a lot better than the album itself imo. Can’t wait to buy some EMMURE leggings for my GF and when she wears them I will imagine Thanos Reignz whispering in her ear “I wanna watch u suck his dick” #nohomo

 If you thought it couldn’t be more obvious how hard they are trying 2 reposition their brand as ‘one of the most dynamic bands in metal,’ you should also know that the whole thing is a concept album about old video games and comic books!! I’m sorry but imo it is selling out to all of a sudden be like ‘brb no more breakdowns but here is an album about Master Chef from Halo.’ Also am I the only one who thought Halo was overrated?? Sorry but it is one of the worst RPGs ever thanks to the deeply flawed battle system. Why would you even want to write an album about a game that is so badly designed that u use up all your phoenix downs on the first boss?!

-Sergeant D.

Sergeant D. stays close to his hardcore roots every day at Stuff You Will Hate.

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