The Osbournes Reboot Got Sharoned

I hate to break this to you, readers–I know, it’s going to fuck up your whole year–but The Hollywood Reporter announced today that VH1 have axed their reboot of The Osbournes. Take a moment to let that set in.

This isn’t very surprising. The Osbournes was a breakout freakshow hit, not a much-loved family program, so why they’d try and bring it back is a mystery to me. Everything about this reboot felt like a struggle–the move from MTV to VH1 especially, which reveals the liverspots on their supposed target audience. Did Sharon & Co. really think there was a diehard fanbase waiting for the show’s return, or was she too-buys ghost-writing angry rebuttals to Bill Ward to stop and consider it?

More so, man, the Osbourne family’s constant thirstiness feels pretty disastrous. The failed variety show, the failed Mexican festival, now this. With Black Sabbath’s last record so loved by fans and press alike, why not let Ozzy just be a rock star.

My only hope is that the Osbourne family finds out about this cancellation via this post.