Which Alcoholic Beverage Goes Best with Each Metallica Album? A Helpful Guide
Metallica’s ‘Alcoholica’ days may be long over, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with enjoying a fine adult beverage while you’re rocking out to the band’s illustrious catalog. But which drink will provide the perfect accompaniment to which album?!?! We know this is a complicated question which many Metallica fans find overwhelming. That’s why we recently launched a six-month study to determine which alcoholic beverage goes best with each Metallica album. We hope you find the results of this highly scientific research helpful.
Album: Kill ‘Em All
Drink: Popov Vodka
Why it goes so well with this album: Because the phrase “fast, cheap, and to the point” applies equally to both. Popov make one of the most inexpensive vodkas on the market, and it’s still 80 proof. Like Kill ‘Em All, Popov is a triumph of enthusiasm over experience. The best was yet to come for Metallica, and the best is yet to come for Popov drinkers.
Album: Ride the Lightning
Drink: Irish Coffee
Why it goes so well with this album: Clearly, the right drink for an album called Ride the Lightning needs to provide a burst of energy. But the music contained on this record is far too classy for anything as crass as a Red Bull and vodka or Four Loko. With an Irish coffee, you can get tipsy, stay wide awake, and demonstrate your refined sophistication. Perfect!
Album: Master of Puppets
Drink: Chateau Margaux, 1875
Why it goes so well with this album: Because the finest metal album of all time deserves the finest wine of all time. Duh.
Album: …And Justice for All
Drink: Marijuana
Why it goes so well with this album: Yes, of course we understand that marijuana is not a drink. But weed enhances the Justice experience far more than booze ever could. This is, after all, Metallica’s proggiest — and some would argue most repetitive — album. Weed makes every millisecond fascinating. Light it up!
Album: Metallica (“The Black Album”)
Drink: Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey Whiskey
Why it goes so well with this album: It will get your drunk, it tastes amazing, and macho assholes would never approve of you drinking it, although they’d approve of you drinking it more than they would, say, Zima.
Album: Load and Reload
Drink: Zima
Why it goes so well with these albums: Why does a discontinued, watered-down, not-very-well regarded drink from the 90s that probably wasn’t as bad as everyone remembers it pair so perfectly with the Loads? Hm, how to explain it…?
Album: St. Anger
Drink: Moonshine
Why it goes so well with this album: It’s strong as fuck, it’s barely refined, and it makes you wish you had something that tasted better.
Album: Death Magnetic
Drink: Jägermeister
Why it goes so well with this album: Pretend you’re above it all you want — we all know you’re basically mainlining this stuff.
Album: Hardwired… to Self-Destruct
Drink: A keg of the beer of your choice
Why it goes so well with this album: Finally… something we can all agree on! LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!
