Sharon Osbourne Is Making a
Cash Grab Movie About Her and Ozzy’s Courtship
For those of you who haven’t been following Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne’s marriage drama, let’s do a quick recap: two years ago, the couple were set to break up for good. One year ago, they renewed their wedding vows.
And now, Sharon has told Variety that she’s working on several projects, one of which is a movie about her and Ozzy’s early courtship. Because everyone wants to watch that.
From the Variety piece:
“’It starts the day we meet and will focus on how our lives were totally different but very similar in ways: I was brought up by a powerful, successful father, — the late, famously tough Black Sabbath/Small Faces/ELO manager Don Arden — and Ozzy was brought up extremely poor and somewhat abused,’ she says of the drama, currently in the scripting phase. ‘It’s definitely going to be a tearjerker. It’s not going to be a sex-and-drugs movie at all. Ozzy is so much more than that. I would hate to be a cliché.’”
I was just saying the other day: You know what’s missing on Netflix? A heartfelt drama about when Ozzy and Sharon used to take walks by the beach. You know, like a white, incomprehensible Southside With You.
That said, this, like the couple’s breakup, might just be Sharon talking out her ass, so I guess we’ll have to wait and see if it ever happens. It also feels sappy and embarrassing for the Prince of Darkness to put out such a film, but hey, this is the Osbournes, they’ll air any dirty laundry available for a paycheck.
Meanwhile, Sharon also says she’s working on a book about “infidelity and what it does to people,” meaning this is only the first load of dirty laundry. So, famous people, take note: if you cheat on your wife, you might have to sheepishly greenlight several projects that shame you in front of the entire world if you don’t want her to leave your ass.