MetalSucks

So now that the dust has cleared (or so I thought) from the highly over-hyped (here and everywhere else) new Metallica release/debacle Death Magnetic, I’d like to go out on a limb and (re-) remind y’all just how long it’s been since these once-masterful-once-thrashers were actually worth all this debate. I will gladly go on record as saying that the last handful of Metallica albums have, well, pretty much sucked (and I don’t mean that in nearly the same way as, y’know, metal sucks), and despite some solid moments on the Black Album and a pretty entertaining documentary about the band at its touchy-feeliest (thus far), honestly this band has been mostly irrelevant since their seminal/culminatory record …And Justice For All.

And so, starting with the title track of that amazing album from 1988 (which I obviously loved when I was a ‘tweener way back then, but also was the one (no pun intended) that served as catalyst for my inevitable resurgence into metal a handful of years later), I will be going backwards in time for the next few weeks and offering some classic choice cuts from the LPs that made Metallica Metallica, when they legitimately ruled.

Enough of this new-school nonsense! Let’s git serious here, m’kay?

METALLICA – “…And Justice For All”, from — well, whaddya you think, Einstein?!?

-KW

Alt-country superstar Ryan Adams revealed his love of metal in a recent NY Times piece published this past weekend, in which he shared with writer Winter Miller what’s been making the rounds on his playlist lately. “Metal gets a bad rap, that it’s just satanic or screaming, but sometimes it’s really just pop songs that are more forceful. Metal is not to be feared, it’s still storytelling.” True ‘dat. On the new Metallica record:

I’m still absorbing it all. It’s a 100 percent return to form. I have been a lifelong Metallica fan, and I’ll admit, I have been disappointed in some albums. “Death Magnetic” (Warner) is lyrically astounding; the musicianship is incredible.

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Exhibit A: the below mockup, posted by “pigchop” in the comments of David Bee Roth’s Death Magnetic review (which inexplicably seems to have picked up steam lately). Click the image to see it in full size; the devil is in the details.

Someone was really bored in computer class.

-VN

Why The World Needs Metallica…

It’s funny. It really is. I’ve been bothered by the bullshit I’ve seen regarding the new Metallica album. People are shitting on the album left and right, not paying respect to one of the greatest bands ever and it’s complete fucking bullshit… I’m not saying you should like something just because it comes from a certain band, I’m saying you should like it if it’s good. And news fucking flash: THE NEW METALLICA IS THE SHIT!

The really sad thing is Blabbermouth got it right with the new Metallica record! What in the fuck world are we living in? With this new Metallica album and the reviews I’ve been seeing, I feel we’re living in an opposite reality. How is it that Blabbermouth gets it right and the majority of Metalsucks reviews looked like an Iann Robinson night at the movies? Straight haterade. It makes me think of politics (again). Why is McCain holding on? People just don’t see good shit in front of them when it’s there. Or it’s like Katt Williams says: people hate good shit.

To those people who gave the Metallica album a BAD review, give a good fucking reason why. And spare me your Barack Obama voting, elitist post-Black album bullshit. Give me something real. How does this new record NOT sound like Metallica? Cause it’s not TR00? Fuck all that. My bro and I were chilling out and listening to the new Metallica rocking out like when we were kids. It was crazy. We’re talking about the record and he says,’You were the first person to give the album a good review…’ I thought about it and I thought, ‘That is fucking sad.’

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MS reader Michael Cobra sent us a really interesting read about the graphic design company (Turner Duckworth) that put together the visual elements of Death Magnetic. An interview with the designers focuses on the Metallica brand, the concept behind the artwork and the band members’ acknowledgment of the waning CD format and subsequent forced irrelevance of packaging.

Surprisingly, no mention is made of the striking similarity between the artwork and a hairy vagina.

In other news, Death Magnetic managed to sell nearly 500,000 physical units of said packaging in just 5 days (because of the oddly-timed Friday album release)

-VN

Now things get really interesting. It turns out there is a second mix of the audio-quality atrocity that is Death Magnetic. MetalSucks reader Edward H. sent us a link to the Damn-Games blog who summed it up rather nicely, so rather than trying to paraphrase we’ll just repost. With a special added wrinkle at the end.

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So, we spoke. And spoke. And spoke. And spoke. For an entire f’n day — about the new Metallica album, Death Magnetic.

Now it’s your turn.

Love it? Hate it? In between?

Go!

Metallica will never write Master of Puppets or anything like pre-Black Album material ever again. Get over it. To expect them to do so is not only unrealistic given that the members have, you know, changed in the last 20 years; it would also be the worst thing artistically they could possibly do. No one wants a re-hash, lest they suffer the “just another ___ album” fate (see: Slayer). Instead, Metallica have chosen to evolve over the past 15 years. While Load, Reload and especially St. Anger may be considered big misses in the opinions of most die-hards everyone, no one can accuse this band of artistic stagnation. Given the overwhelming hatred towards the latter, with Death Magnetic Metallica needed to write an album that harnessed the sound of their vintage material without simply treating it as a throwback, incorporating some new into the old. And with Death Magnetic, they’ve been remarkably successful at doing just that. Death Magnetic isn’t ground breaking and it’s not the best work of their lives, but it is most certainly their best since The Black Album and the best they could have written at this stage in their career. Death Magnetic is at times fresh and invigorating — and at times underwhelming — but for the most part it’s a surprisingly solid record that captures who the band is now. And for anyone other than the so-called die-hards who hated this album before a note was even put to tape, Death Magnetic ends up mostly a return to some semblance of dignity for a band who badly needed it.

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So remember all of one day ago when we posted that some “enterprising young audio engineer” had recut all of Death Magnetic to make the whole thing “better, shorted and cut(ted)”? Well, said enterprising young audio engineer emailed us a mere hour or two after the post went up, and here’s what he had to say:

hey -

i’m the ‘enterprising young audio engineer’ that made death magnetic: better, shorter, cut. i knocked it out last friday (9/5) in about six hours using a copy of peak pro (2 track stereo editing program). i then posted it to a couple of torrent sites on 9/6 as “better shorter cut” — it almost sank, but then somebody else re-posted it as “better, shorter, cutted.” why, i don’t know, but god bless ‘em…

basically, i just wanted a new album by metallica that i could listen to without getting irritated by some lame lyrics or ploddy riffs that go nowhere for three minutes before turning into something cool. the original version of death magnetic is the best thing that they’ve done since …and justice for all, but it ain’t great. my version is great.

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Apparently some enterprising young audio engineer thought Metallica’s Death Magnetic was too long, so he decided to do something about it. MetalSucks reader Edward H. sent us this link for Death Magnetic: Better, Shorter, Cutted, which features the same songs you’ve grown to love (or hate), only shorter! Most songs clock in around the 4 or 5 minute marks, as opposed to the original which features seven songs over 7 minutes.

We haven’t listened yet, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t!

-VN

[Metallica - Death Magnetic - Better, Shorter, Cutted]

The inevitable happened on Tuesday night, when Death Magnetic hit the leak wire. The very next day, Lars responded on a radio show in California, claiming, “Listen, we’re ten days from release. I mean, from here, we’re golden. If this thing leaks all over the world today or tomorrow, happy days. Happy days. Trust me. Ten days out and it hasn’t quote-unquote fallen off the truck yet? Everybody’s happy. It’s 2008 and it’s part of how it is these days, so it’s fine. We’re happy.”

Pretty peachy response from a man who railed against Napster and Internet piracy a few years ago, no? You’d assume that the band, management and record label (Warner Bros.) couldn’t possibly be so cool and collected, right? You’d assume correctly; the indomitable Bob Lefsetz sent out an email blast with some kind of intercepted memo from Warner Bros.:

WE ARE NOT SERVICING METALLICA MUSIC !!!
We know it has leaked on some bit torrent sites. So what, that happens all the time and we are not changing our plan.
Please tell radio NOT to play other songs, even if they stole the record. We are vigorously fighting to get it off the internet the best we can.

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Death Magnetic has hit the leak wire. Head on over to your favorite Torrent site or .rar blog (or just ask a more Internet-savvy friend) and have a looksee.

Countdown ’til Metallica’s braintrust (aka Lars) throws a shitfit: T minus 10, 9, 8, 7…

The Metallica machine is in full effect, with new headlines, audio/video clips, and band statements seemingly coming out several times every day. Here’s what’s happened since we signed off on Friday, so we can compress all the arguing that will inevitably follow into one, convenient thread:

• The band released a preview of the video for “The Day That Never Comes.” (watch below)
• Pro-shot live footage from the Leeds Festival surfaced of “The Day That Never Comes.” (watch after the jump)
• Fan-filmed footage of the new song “Cyanide” surfaced, also shot at Leeds. (watch after the jump)
• The band posted two new audio samples from Death Magnetic on their website.

“The Day That Never Comes” music video preview:

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Yesterday was a day we’ve all been waiting for for a very, very long time — fans the world over got a taste of the new record from the most popular metal band of all time. Axl weighed in with his thoughts yesterday, and I completely agree with what he said. And here’s the early skinny on what other blog hacks like us are saying about the new Metallica song, “The Day That Never Comes.”

• Idolator.com (Maura Johnston): “Something doesn’t feel right here. And by ‘doesn’t feel right’ I mean ’sorta gives the impression of a band becoming its own cover band.’”
• NoneLouder.com (Iann Robinson): “‘The Day That Never Comes’ might be James singing about waiting for inspiration to write and record a great album. This is a step above St. Anger in that it’s not completely a suck job but it is more of the mediocrity we’ve come to expect for ‘Tallica.”
• MetalMartyr.com (Scott Wharton): “If you want to hear something that sounds better than St Anger, go listen to a garbage disposal sucking down 40 pounds of rotten cabbage. But seriously, this really isn’t that bad. At times it sounds as if they are trying and sometimes trying to [sic] hard. I’ll wait for the rest of the album to make any strict judgement [sic] calls.”
• Stereogum (Amrit): “As they’ve made unavoidably clear, Death Magnetic Metallica is all about bringing it back to the classic era. Clocking in at 7:56, you’d think this was the track to make good on that. And you’d be right! For the last three minutes. And if ‘bringing it back’ means ‘rewriting old songs.’”
• AncientScripts: “Sounds like a cross between old school Metallica (pre-1991) and Load-era stuff. Not too shabby. Pretty good, if it’s 1991.”

Everyone seems to be in agreement on one thing: overwhelming mediocrity. Sigh.

-VN