I’ve made no secret of my general distaste for black metal, going so far as to call for a boycott of one of the sound’s most celebrated and influential figures. Without question, I’m not the ideal person to defend any aspect of a subgenre that I consider an eye-rolling, oft-racist joke. And yet, Tim Hunter at Invisible Oranges has driven me to stand up for it (sorta) thanks to his scathing and shoddy article lambasting the sub-subgenre “Cascadian black metal” and those journalists who dare to use the term in their pieces.

I’m not saying the music itself is bullshit – that’s more of a personal taste thing – but I think the sub-genre as a concept is bullshit. Ever since Wolves in the Throne Room garnered a more significant share of the music spotlight (chiefly by playing a corporate-sponsored festival, I’ve seen the term “Cascadian black metal” tossed around in more articles recently. Some of these have been from outside the metal world (the New Yorker, The Guardian), while others are more in tune with the underground. But I’m skeptical by default of any attempt by music media to create new pigeonholes for the music they cover. In some cases, it’s merely lazy journalism; in other cases (I’m looking at you, New Yorker dude), it’s just a way to make it seem like you know more than you really do about your topic.

Here’s why Hunter’s argument is (to reclaim the epithet) bullshit.

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Last week, a shitty translation of a news story from a French website told us that Gojira told them that Rick Rubin was producing the band’s new album. We’ve been trying to get confirmation to no avail, but now another shitty translation of another news story from another French website tells us that Gojira told them that Rubin isn’t the producer — Greg Fidelman is.

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Am I crazy or does World Painted Blood suck? Is Slayer moving forward or caving to the post-Slipknot shitty production trend? Am I a fossil who can’t deal with a classic band’s evolution? I love serial killers and hate religion, so what’s the deal? Why did critics splooge all over this record, and do fans agree?

During a recent plane trip, I played about four hours of Slayer pinball on my mobile tablet device — to the dismay of my westerly neighbor, who frowned from behind her religious-themed novel presumably at the game’s huge glowing pentagram — and it got me thinking about World Painted Blood. Like 2006′s mehtastic Christ Illusion, the 2009 record arrived amid a rush of acclaim — as though a spiteful metal media corps had a chance to bestow retroactive cheers upon a critically spurned but iconic band. Or maybe the album is awesome, and therefore deserving of warm reception even from fancy music writers at The Onion and All Music Guide. But I don’t think so.

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I hear people talk about Slayer’s Kerry King in tones that suggest that he is, like, commonly viewed as arrogant or something. And now you can tell by my tone that King rules, and that those who disagree can shampoo my crotch anytime on weekdays between the hours of noon and six. For one thing, you never hear is how King’s kick-assosity is contagious; this year, after our Golden Gods Blarpet mini-interview, I was so pumped up that I wanted to slap Jim Florentine and french Kat Von D in one motion. (After last year’s ceremony, I almost punched a hot dog vendor and licked Chuck Billy’s arm.) King is that type of guy, and once you realize this, you can see how Slayer grew into one of history’s greatest bands: good leadership.

After the jump, King and Slayer drummer Dave Lombardo and I chat about the American Carnage tour, Exodus, and meddling producers. Though to tell the truth, I don’t really feel like sharing it in light of the paltry number of comments on yesterday’s hard-hitting Deftones coverage. I guess your mother and I just expected better of you.

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Now things get really interesting. It turns out there is a second mix of the audio-quality atrocity that is Death Magnetic. MetalSucks reader Edward H. sent us a link to the Damn-Games blog who summed it up rather nicely, so rather than trying to paraphrase we’ll just repost. With a special added wrinkle at the end.

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