MetalSucks

The Intarwebs have been buzzing and seething over the inclusion of Kurt Cobain as a playable character in Activision’s popular Guitar Hero video game, his digitized ghost forever doomed to perform Bon Jovi songs at the whim of teenage boys. Most rational people assumed that this perceived offense against the deceased grunge rocker was the fault of his widow Courtney Love, who would have had to sign off the creation of this virtual atrocity. When called out on this via Twitter, by British music journo and former Cobain family friend Everett True, the unflaggingly graceful Love took the usual high road and launched into an inscrutable six hour tweet seizure railing against, among other things, former Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl.

Anyone with a fucking brain in his skull (NO PUN INTENDED!) should immediately question the notion that Grohl has any control over Cobain’s likeness. Logically, that responsibility would rest with the executor of Cobain’s estate. But of course, we’re talkin’ about COURTNEY FUCKING LOVE here, so logic goes out the window from the start. Fortunately, Grohl and bassist Krist Novoselic have formulated a much more coherent response to the growing outrage expressed by Nirvana’s sanctimonious fans, most of whom have grown up to be the type of corporate sellouts that Cobain so obviously disdained.

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I’m not actually anti-Guitar Hero/rhythm games the way some people are, and this is only sorta kinda related to metal, but this satirical look into the making of Guitar Hero: The Beatles (not a real game, obviously) is too funny not to share.

-AR

[via CHUD]

If you’re famous, one of the biggest problems with being dead is that you lose all control over how your “estate” (read: family that needs money) uses abuses your legacy. Case in point: Kurt Cobain is apparently going to be in Guitar Hero 5.

Now, I’m not one of these people who has a problem with Guitar Hero or rhythm games in general – I find them entertaining, and I’m not an alarmist who thinks they mean kids are gonna stop learning to play real instruments.

But I feel like Cobain is definitely the kind of stick-up-his-ass dude who would have a problem with Guitar Hero. Still, Francis Bean gotta eat Courtney Love gotta shoot up, so there’s Kurt in all his pixelated glory.

I’m shocked that Dimebag hasn’t been included in a rhythm game yet. I’d wager that his estate is working on that right about now.

-AR

Here’s a video of a kid playing Ozzy’s “Mr. Crowley” at the “expert” level on Guitar Hero… while solving two Rubik’s Cubes at the same fucking time. There’s clearly no practical use whatsoever for this skill and I’d seriously question whether or not this kid has ever seen the sun and/or will ever get laid… but at the same time, I kinda feel like someone should just give him a scholarship to Harvard or something. ‘Cause clearly, if this little dude puts his mind to it, he’ll put a stop to cancer, AIDS, the fighting in the Middle East, world hunger, and whatever the fuck else he pleases.

-AR

[via Topless Robot]

[From Xkcd.com via Misopogon]

About a dozen of you have e-mailed me to ask why we haven’t mentioned that Chimaira’s “On Broken Glass” (from The Infection, natch) is now avail as a free download for Guitar Hero World Tour.

So. Did you know that Chimaira’s “On Broken Glass” is now avail as a free download for Guitar Hero World Tour?

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Really? Yes, really. That sound you hear isn’t just the craptastic floppy bass of Korn, but the official death knell of the Guitar Hero / Rock Band / music video game axis. Yup, it’s officially over. Deader than MySpace in 2007.

-VN

[via Revolver]

2009 is Suffocation’s twentieth anniversary (!), and they’re celebrating in all the usual ways: a headlining tour, a new album, a DVD, and… a video game?

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I haven’t touched any edition of Guitar Hero in ages, but this clip of some people playing along with Slayer’s “War Ensemble” is enough to get me juiced again – in fact, I’m almost sad that there’ll never be a Guitar Hero: Slayer. Still, this looks like a fun way to pass a lazy, strung-out afternoon with some of the MS Mansion monkeys…

-AR

[via The Deciblog]

When the track list for the upcoming Guitar Hero: Metallica video game was announced a week or two back, we were flooded with e-mails asking us to post about it. But why should we? The tracklist is solid – certainly way better than I thought it would be, in terms of not making you play too much from the band’s wasted years – but there wasn’t much actual news to the announcement.

ANYWAY, there will be, of course, a bunch of non-Metallica songs included in the game (which were allegedly selected by the members of Metallica themselves), including Slayer’s “War Ensemble.” As it turns out, though, Slayer almost ended up not being in the game at all – and not because of their ongoing rivalry with the Metallicats. Lead GH: Metallica designer Alan Flores explained to MTV:

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Guitar Hero III featured Slash and Tom Morello as bosses and pretty much used Slash as the entire basis of the video game’s ad campaign; I guess now it’s Zakk Wylde’s turn, as the Ozzy/Black Label Society axemaster is now being featured in a trailer for Guitar Hero World Tour, which will be released on October 26.

Oddly enough, while there’s a BLS song in the game, Wylde played on neither of the original recordings of the included Ozzy songs, “Crazy Train” and “Mr. Crowley.” I don’t know if they’ll be using re-recorded versions featuring Wylde for the purposes of the game or if they’re just depending on Guitar Hero’s younger (read: target) audience not know the difference between Wylde and Randy Rhodes.

In any case, here’s the trailer:

As is usually the case with Guitar Hero, there’s a whole lotta metal included in this edition’s “set list,” including three Tool songs and offerings by Metallica, Van Halen, System of a Down, Dream Theater and Lacuna Coil. Should be fun if you like these rhythm games.

-AR

Get your arguing gloves on. We’ve finally got the first full song from the new Metallica album Death Magnetic. The song is called “Cyanide” and was played live Saturday night at Ozzfest in Dallas, TX. [YouTube, via MetalSucks reader Sean M.]:

So… thoughts? Kinda sounds most like the Load era to me, but without some of the cheese of that era.

Metallica also announced that mixing for Death Magnetic has been completed, and, realizing the power of the Internet, that all of its songs will be available for download on Guitar Hero the same day of release, September 12. Score one for Metallica in the “smart business move” department (finally).

-VN

Ultra-shred power metallers Dragonforce have a new album Ultra Beatdown scheduled for release on August 25th. I recently had a chance to chat with singer ZP Theart about the new album, the effects of the band’s inclusion in Guitar Hero, and the perception amongst some music fans that the band are just a bunch of musical masturbation wankers (my words, not his). Things started off a little slow, but once he got into it, he got into it — after the jump, read ZP’s insights and hilarious responses. Also, peep their new video for “Heroes of Our Time,” above.

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I betcha when you saw that headline, you got all excited and thought I was talking about the band’s new album, didnjcha? Sorry if I misled you, but, really, doncha think ya oughta know better by now?

In point of fact, I’m referring to the news that there’s going to be a Guitar Hero game based around Metallica, not unlike that Aerosmith one that’s coming out later this summer. Says Game Spot:

“Guitar Hero: Metallica is no longer a case of wishful thinking or idle speculation–it’s fact. When sifting through an SEC filing of Activision’s over the weekend, Wedbush Morgan Securities analyst Edward Woo–associate of the highly visible Michael Pachter–uncovered a gem in the section where the Santa Monica, California-based publisher discussed its upcoming game slate.”

I know a lot of people think that the Guitar Hero craze is over, but the game’s sales (and ongoing sales of new downloadable songs) don’t reflect that; personally, I’m playing way less GH than I was a year ago, but that’s mostly because after perfecting Slayer’s “Raining Blood” and, yes, Metallica’s “One,” I just couldn’t be bothered with songs by craps acts like My Chemical Romance anymore. In other words: I can see myself wasting several weeks of my life on this game – and, yes, I’ve taken into account that I won’t want to play anymore once I’ve reached all post-’91 material (Yes, I’m one of those people who actually likes The Black Album. Deal with it.). Getting really, insanely good at “Fade to Black” and “Disposable Heroes” should keep me plenty occupied, thank you very much.

The game is supposed to drop in the first quarter of ‘09. Tell your girlfriend that would be a perfect time for her to gather her posse and finally check out that Sex and the Shitty movie you’re refusing to take her to.

-AR

[Thanks: Myles Hutchinson]

Look: I know the new Def Leppard single, “Nine Lives,” is gonna suck, and you know the new Def Leppard single is gonna suck. Even if Def Lep haven’t grown into as monumental an embarrassment as, say, Motley Crue, they certainly haven’t written anything anyone should give a crap about in a long, long while. Plus, “Nine Lives” – which comes from the band’s forthcoming new offering, Songs from the Sparkle Lounge* – is a collaboration with country singer/Faith Hill fucker Tim McGraw, which places it squarely in the Sevendust/Chris Daughtry “Just Shoot Me in the Fucking Head” category.

But the band is releasing the single via Guitar Hero III, and I’m tired of playing “One” and “Raining Blood” over and over again. So, yes, I do plan to download the song and play the living shit out of it.

Besides, it has to better than Aerosmith’s “Nine Lives”… right?

-AR

*They couldn’t just call it Gay: The Album?

The U.S. has reached the saturation point with Guitar Hero, the video game franchise that makes teenagers and wanna-be heshers everywhere feel like rock stars by pushing buttons on a plastic guitar. The peak arrived last Spring/Summer as the past couple of years of Guitar Hero fervor climaxed with the near-simultaneous release of Guitar Hero 3 and Rock Band. You couldn’t go to any store without seeing it, any news site without reading about it, or anyone’s house without playing it. Guitar Hero even invaded bars and entire events were organized around it — in short, it was a cultural phenomenon. Perhaps the peak was a Southpark lampoon, the ultimate stamp of pop-culture relevance.

Here we are in March 2008, and the backlash has begun. Plastic guitars sit in corners of my friends’ apartments rarely used. Occasionally the ‘Hero comes out for some drunken fun, but for the most part this trend seems to have passed; people have had their fill. And frankly, I have to agree that at this point Guitar Hero seems quite passé. But Activision / RedOctane / whoever is making these things these days doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo; they’ve announced a portable “On Tour” edition for the hand-held system Nintendo DS. Talk about overkill. I’d be way more satisfied with the below ad if at the end they actually threw the thing off the side of the building.

Is the Guitar Hero fad over or does it still have some steam left?

-VN

Because we all secretly aspire to be a roadie but don’t have the balls to follow through with our dreams.

-VN

Guitar Hero haters and lovers alike, thank MetalSucks commenter Aaron Cooper for this one. Whether you love air-guitaring with 5 buttons or you think it’s ludicrous, this is fucking impressive.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/wV0qM6-HLuk" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

Is there something wrong with people when a video of some dude playing a video game has over 2 million views??? On the other hand, dude has some versatile fingers… I’ll bet he knows how to pleasure his lady.

-VN

Before I go any further, I need to admit right off the bat that I have never played any of the Guitar Hero games. So while I am offering up my preconceived notions for attack and debate, please let it be known that I am well aware that these opinions are preconceived, and I am considering this my “before” post. If and when I do ever play Geettaar Hero 1, 2, or 3, I pledge to write an “after” post that honestly outlines my excitement or yawns, my expertise or ineptitude…

That said, I have to ask as one of the uninitiated, what’s the big fucking deal??? You play guitar…with a controller that has four buttons? Okay, sure — if I was not a musically inclined lad with a strong understanding of how the fretboard of a guitar works, I have to imagine that I would be overjoyed to feel like I was “rocking out” via any means necessary. But I have rocked out, for real, and I strongly suspect that that sensation cannot be recreated through a frickin video game.

I respect that I could be wrong — I’ve been wrong before, once, in the mid 90s, and I gladly recognized it then too. I’m totally open to being convinced otherwise, but I guess until I experience Guitar Hero for myself, I’m stuck thinking that it’s kinda silly.

Although I’m definitely a fan of that commercial where Slash comes out of the dude’s head. The power of the non-non-Jewish former members of G N’ R is infinite.

-KW

As Axl reported yesterday, South Park aired a hilarious parody of Guitar Hero on Wednesday night. Thanks to MetalSucks commenter TedTedPoleyPoley, here is one of the scenes from Wednesday’s episode. As usual, the South Park writers totally nail it.

-VN