How come Miss Piggy can’t count to 70? ‘Cause every time she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat.

ANYWAY, here’s how we amused ourselves this week:

• We debuted new videos from DevilDriver and Intronaut.
• We also debuted new music from Battilus and VYGR.
• We started a cool new series of tour blogs from Eluveitie and learned fifteen new things about Crowbar’s Kirk Windstein.
• We spoke to Josh Scogin from The Chariot and Mark LeVine, author of Heavy Metal Islam.
• We checked out the latest releases from Regicide, Dragged Into Sunlight, Macabre, and Abraham.
• We helped Burzum launch a new clothing line.
• We learned a sexy new stage move from Dr. Acula.
• We continued to feel embarrassed for Slash.
• We pleaded with record labels to start using Bandcamp and stop using MySpace.
• We mourned the loss of Guitar Hero.

Speaking of 69ing: Monday is Valentine’s Day. I’m just reminding you in case you’re a burnout and you forgot to get something for your woman. Don’t say I never did nuthin’ for ya.

-AR

Guitar Hero, age six, passed away yesterday, February 9, 2011.

The cause of death was “continued declines in the music genre,” according to a statement by its publisher, Activision.

Click to read more…

One of the things I love about people who have way too much free time and no healthy outlet for their creativity is that sometimes they make things which are fun to watch when you’re high. For example, this:

According to Gizmodo, the above contraption was made by a dude named Chris Marion, and “interfaces a Guitar Hero guitar with a microcontroller, which in turn powers relays that activate solenoid valves on five fire poofers.” In other words, when he plays Guitar Hero, he gets all Rammstein-like.

Here’s another video of this terrific, universe-altering creation at work, this one set to some good ol’ Motley Crue:

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So the upcoming Rock Band 3 apparently has a “pro guitar mode,” which will feature a new toy guitar that requires players to actually make chords and hits notes and pluck strings and stuff. Made in conjunction with Fender, you’ll even be able to plug these things into amps and play ‘em that way.

In theory, this should quiet some of the rhythm game naysayers who claims that Rock Band, Guitar Hero and their ilk discourage players from picking up real instruments, as these new “guitars” will actually require users to learn about notes, chords, scales, etc., instead of just pressing colored buttons. The flip side, though, is that players still won’t have to learn about things like tuning, and it’s not hard to imagine an “instrument” like this becoming to guitar playing what auto-tune has become to singing: a shortcut and a cheat.

Check out the video previewing Rock Band‘s lastest creation below, and then weigh in with your thoughts in our comments section.

-AR

We’ve seen Dave Mustaine play the song, and we’ve heard a crappy rip filmed directly from the television monitor of a gamer. But now you can finally listen to the studio version of “Sudden Death,” the new Megadeth song that appears in the just-released Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock. Stream it after the jump.

So what’s the verdict? It’s definitely a good song, although I don’t know that it holds up to the best material on Endgame; it actually reminds me more of the stuff on United Abominations, which was like the “Soooooo close, but no cigar” of comeback albums, a precursor to the treasures Endgame would hold (and certainly a vast improvement over The System Has Failed, which is ten different kinds of boring.) What’s my problem with it? Why, I’m glad you asked. Allow me to explain.

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So last week we got a video of Dave Mustaine playing “Sudden Death,” the new Megadeth song from Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock; now reader John Spartan has uploaded a video of the song filmed directly from the game itself. It’s still not studio quality, but it’s easier to hear the song than it was in the previous clip.

And… it sounds like it would fit in on Endgame to me. Which is a good thing!

Hopefully a studio version will find its way onto the interwebs soon. In the meantime, enjoy this…

-AR

I used to love Guitar Hero, but I don’t think I’ve played in almost two years… looking around the disaster that is the Axl Wing of the MetalSucks Mansion, I’m not even sure under what pile of crap my “guitar” currently resides. I guess the gimmick just lost it’s luster after awhile? Or maybe I was just dissatisfied that I couldn’t kill things in the game. I like games where I can kill things, y’know?

Still, even if I don’t play anymore, I can’t really be too upset when, say, a band debuts a new track exclusively via a Guitar Hero game, as Megadeth are doing with the song “Sudden Death.” ‘Cause it’s only a matter of time ’til the song ends up on the net somewhere, and then we’ll all have it, video game or no.

While we’re waiting for that to happen, here’s video of Mustaine playing the song on the upcoming Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock. He has kind of a shaky start, but after that, he’s actually pretty good. And while the audio recording isn’t top notch, the song generally sounds pretty cool to me, if perhaps in need of a stronger chorus.

Check it out, then weigh in with your thoughts below. comes out September 28 via Activision.

-AR

[via Metal Insider, via TheHeroFeed.com]

The Intarwebs have been buzzing and seething over the inclusion of Kurt Cobain as a playable character in Activision’s popular Guitar Hero video game, his digitized ghost forever doomed to perform Bon Jovi songs at the whim of teenage boys. Most rational people assumed that this perceived offense against the deceased grunge rocker was the fault of his widow Courtney Love, who would have had to sign off the creation of this virtual atrocity. When called out on this via Twitter, by British music journo and former Cobain family friend Everett True, the unflaggingly graceful Love took the usual high road and launched into an inscrutable six hour tweet seizure railing against, among other things, former Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl.

Anyone with a fucking brain in his skull (NO PUN INTENDED!) should immediately question the notion that Grohl has any control over Cobain’s likeness. Logically, that responsibility would rest with the executor of Cobain’s estate. But of course, we’re talkin’ about COURTNEY FUCKING LOVE here, so logic goes out the window from the start. Fortunately, Grohl and bassist Krist Novoselic have formulated a much more coherent response to the growing outrage expressed by Nirvana’s sanctimonious fans, most of whom have grown up to be the type of corporate sellouts that Cobain so obviously disdained.

Click to read more…

I’m not actually anti-Guitar Hero/rhythm games the way some people are, and this is only sorta kinda related to metal, but this satirical look into the making of Guitar Hero: The Beatles (not a real game, obviously) is too funny not to share.

-AR

[via CHUD]

If you’re famous, one of the biggest problems with being dead is that you lose all control over how your “estate” (read: family that needs money) uses abuses your legacy. Case in point: Kurt Cobain is apparently going to be in Guitar Hero 5.

Now, I’m not one of these people who has a problem with Guitar Hero or rhythm games in general – I find them entertaining, and I’m not an alarmist who thinks they mean kids are gonna stop learning to play real instruments.

But I feel like Cobain is definitely the kind of stick-up-his-ass dude who would have a problem with Guitar Hero. Still, Francis Bean gotta eat Courtney Love gotta shoot up, so there’s Kurt in all his pixelated glory.

I’m shocked that Dimebag hasn’t been included in a rhythm game yet. I’d wager that his estate is working on that right about now.

-AR

Here’s a video of a kid playing Ozzy’s “Mr. Crowley” at the “expert” level on Guitar Hero… while solving two Rubik’s Cubes at the same fucking time. There’s clearly no practical use whatsoever for this skill and I’d seriously question whether or not this kid has ever seen the sun and/or will ever get laid… but at the same time, I kinda feel like someone should just give him a scholarship to Harvard or something. ‘Cause clearly, if this little dude puts his mind to it, he’ll put a stop to cancer, AIDS, the fighting in the Middle East, world hunger, and whatever the fuck else he pleases.

-AR

[via Topless Robot]

[From Xkcd.com via Misopogon]

About a dozen of you have e-mailed me to ask why we haven’t mentioned that Chimaira’s “On Broken Glass” (from The Infection, natch) is now avail as a free download for Guitar Hero World Tour.

So. Did you know that Chimaira’s “On Broken Glass” is now avail as a free download for Guitar Hero World Tour?

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Really? Yes, really. That sound you hear isn’t just the craptastic floppy bass of Korn, but the official death knell of the Guitar Hero / Rock Band / music video game axis. Yup, it’s officially over. Deader than MySpace in 2007.

-VN

[via Revolver]

2009 is Suffocation’s twentieth anniversary (!), and they’re celebrating in all the usual ways: a headlining tour, a new album, a DVD, and… a video game?

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I haven’t touched any edition of Guitar Hero in ages, but this clip of some people playing along with Slayer’s “War Ensemble” is enough to get me juiced again – in fact, I’m almost sad that there’ll never be a Guitar Hero: Slayer. Still, this looks like a fun way to pass a lazy, strung-out afternoon with some of the MS Mansion monkeys…

-AR

[via The Deciblog]

When the track list for the upcoming Guitar Hero: Metallica video game was announced a week or two back, we were flooded with e-mails asking us to post about it. But why should we? The tracklist is solid – certainly way better than I thought it would be, in terms of not making you play too much from the band’s wasted years – but there wasn’t much actual news to the announcement.

ANYWAY, there will be, of course, a bunch of non-Metallica songs included in the game (which were allegedly selected by the members of Metallica themselves), including Slayer’s “War Ensemble.” As it turns out, though, Slayer almost ended up not being in the game at all – and not because of their ongoing rivalry with the Metallicats. Lead GH: Metallica designer Alan Flores explained to MTV:

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Guitar Hero III featured Slash and Tom Morello as bosses and pretty much used Slash as the entire basis of the video game’s ad campaign; I guess now it’s Zakk Wylde’s turn, as the Ozzy/Black Label Society axemaster is now being featured in a trailer for Guitar Hero World Tour, which will be released on October 26.

Oddly enough, while there’s a BLS song in the game, Wylde played on neither of the original recordings of the included Ozzy songs, “Crazy Train” and “Mr. Crowley.” I don’t know if they’ll be using re-recorded versions featuring Wylde for the purposes of the game or if they’re just depending on Guitar Hero‘s younger (read: target) audience not know the difference between Wylde and Randy Rhodes.

In any case, here’s the trailer:

As is usually the case with Guitar Hero, there’s a whole lotta metal included in this edition’s “set list,” including three Tool songs and offerings by Metallica, Van Halen, System of a Down, Dream Theater and Lacuna Coil. Should be fun if you like these rhythm games.

-AR

Get your arguing gloves on. We’ve finally got the first full song from the new Metallica album Death Magnetic. The song is called “Cyanide” and was played live Saturday night at Ozzfest in Dallas, TX. [YouTube, via MetalSucks reader Sean M.]:

So… thoughts? Kinda sounds most like the Load era to me, but without some of the cheese of that era.

Metallica also announced that mixing for Death Magnetic has been completed, and, realizing the power of the Internet, that all of its songs will be available for download on Guitar Hero the same day of release, September 12. Score one for Metallica in the “smart business move” department (finally).

-VN

Ultra-shred power metallers Dragonforce have a new album Ultra Beatdown scheduled for release on August 25th. I recently had a chance to chat with singer ZP Theart about the new album, the effects of the band’s inclusion in Guitar Hero, and the perception amongst some music fans that the band are just a bunch of musical masturbation wankers (my words, not his). Things started off a little slow, but once he got into it, he got into it — after the jump, read ZP’s insights and hilarious responses. Also, peep their new video for “Heroes of Our Time,” above.

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